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I Hate My Life

i hate my lifeMost of us have experienced that pivotal peak of pain, anger or frustration in which we want to scream “I hate my life.” Yet, the feeling that a dark cloud has specifically settled over us and our experiences can feel pretty isolating. The truth is, no matter how singled out or overwhelmed we feel, and no matter what area we are struggling in, we are not alone.  More than half of U.S. workers are unhappy with their job.  One in 10 Americans struggles with depression. All of us have moments of utter despair. Escaping from this hopeless-seeming state may feel impossible. Yet, in reality, we are not doomed, and we are not powerless.  No matter what our circumstances, we can all learn tools to help us emerge from the darkest moments in our lives.

In his 35 years of research, Dr. Salvatore Maddi of The Hardiness Institute has discovered that what predicts how well we will do in life, our relationships, careers, and so on is NOT how much money we have or even how many struggles we face. It’s a matter of how hardy or emotionally resilient we are. We can all learn to become more resilient. We can implement tools that help shape how we see and experience the world around us. We can uncover what’s at the root of our unhappiness and create a life that has personal meaning to us, a life that reflects our unique goals and desires.

This process starts with asking ourselves a few questions, starting with:

 Whose life are you really living?

One of the reasons we have the feeling of “I hate my life” is because we aren’t really following our own path. Instead, we are, often subconsciously, carrying out someone else’s idea of how we should live.  In order to have the life we say we want, we have to separate our real point of view from negative influences from our past, from people around us or from society at large. To do this, we can engage in a process known as differentiation, which can help us to distinguish our real wants, goals and desires from undesirable outside influences. As Dr. Robert Firestone wrote in his book The Self Under Siege, “Differentiation is a universal struggle that all human beings face if they wish to fully develop themselves as individuals.”  Firestone outlines four essential steps to the process of differentiation that can help individuals live free of imagined limitations.

According to Firestone, in order for our real, authentic self to emerge, we have to identify and separate from destructive programming we received very early in our lives, primarily from our parents or other influential caretakers. “Differentiating from parental interjects and psychological defenses based on the emotional pain of childhood is a central developmental issue in every person’s life,” wrote Firestone. “To the extent that we retain the critical attitudes and destructive elements we have incorporated into our own personalities, we remain undifferentiated from our parents throughout our lifetime.”

The point of differentiation isn’t to blame parents for all our problems but rather to help explain the elements that lay the foundation for the self-limiting or self-destructive behavior we engage in that leads to our unhappiness. Naturally, no parent is perfect. We are all human and full of flaws. Parents may have critical attitudes toward themselves that extend to their children. As people grow up, they tend to incorporate these attitudes and engage in a process of self-parenting. They may start to imitate their parents’ less favorable traits, take on hurtful attitudes toward themselves or retaliate against these parental influences. All of these actions are a reaction to our upbringing and don’t necessarily reflect our true unique identity and point of view.

 

For example, if we had a parent who couldn’t hold a job, perhaps we will find ourselves sabotaging our own success. If we had a parent who believed they were unintelligent, we may feel this way toward ourselves. As adults, we tend to be drawn toward relationships and circumstances that recreate the emotional environment from our past. Differentiation means interrupting this cycle and truly living our own life. If you feel like you hate your life, it’s beneficial to ask whose life are you really living? Are you reliving someone else’s idea of who you should be or what you should want? What truly has meaning to you?

Are you looking at your life through a negative filter?

The second question to consider when we feel like we hate our lives is “are we listening to our “critical inner voice?” As Maddi discovered in his research, it isn’t just our circumstances that determine our life satisfaction and success. In fact, it’s what we are telling ourselves about our circumstances that often makes us miserable. Our critical inner voice describes a cruel, internal enemy we all have inside us that comments on our every move and criticizes us at every turn.

This critical inner voice is there to undermine and sabotage us in every area of our lives, our careers, relationships and personal goals. When we experience a setback, this voice will tear us apart and remind us that we’ll never succeed. It’s often the sneaky internal entity responsible for fueling the flames that lead us to hate ourselves or resent our circumstances.

One of the biggest steps we can take to change our lives involves identifying and challenging this inner critic. It’s important to separate this alien coach from our true point of view. We can all learn effective methods to overcome our critical inner voice and achieve a more self-compassionate attitude toward ourselves. As we engage in this transformative and enlightening process, it’s valuable to remind ourselves that as long as we are independent and differentiated adults, we can pretty much change any part of our lives… as long as we change this negative filter.

Although our critical inner voice has built up over a long time and is based on destructive past experiences and early childhood influences, as adults, these “voices” are just thoughts. No matter how anxious it makes us, we can counteract this inner critic and grow stronger in the process. For example, if our voice tells us we are incompetent or incapable of change, we can remind ourselves that this is just a thought driven by a deep, unconscious “anti-self” whose only mission is to sabotage us.

i hate my life webinar

Then, we can consciously take the actions that go against the directives of this anti-self. We can go out for that job interview, knowing we can handle not getting it. We can stick to an exercise plan even when our inner critic lures us to indulge. We can stay close to our partner despite the anxious thoughts our critical inner voice shouts at us.

How resilient are you?

Resilience or “hardiness” is something we can all foster and develop within ourselves. The more we can stick through hard times without expecting the road to be easy, the better we can handle what life throws at us. Hardiness involves accepting that we have some control over our situation, and that there are always steps we can take to improve our circumstances. Obstacles can be seen as challenges from which we can grow. We can learn more about Maddi’s research and the steps to become more psychologically resilient here.

Actions to take when we think “I hate my life:”

There are many actions we can take when we feel turned against ourselves and our lives.

Practice mindfulness – Mindfulness is a practice that teaches us how to let go of thoughts that are destructive or undesirable. It has been proven to reduce stress, fight depression and lead to overall benefits in health and well-being. Mindfulness meditation can help us to acknowledge these thoughts as momentary feelings that will pass like clouds over a mountain. Learn more about mindfulness.

Conquer your critical inner voice – Voice Therapy is a method developed by Dr. Robert Firestone. The five steps of this therapeutic process allow people to identify, respond to and challenge their critical inner voice, while recognizing where this inner enemy comes from. Learn more about Voice Therapy.

Spend time with a family of choice – Oftentimes, people feel obligated to spend time with the family they were born into, but old dynamics and remnants of past hurts can cause “family time” to be times of pain or stress. It’s important to create for yourself a “family of choice.” Of course, this may include people you’re related to. What’s most important is choosing to be around people who support you and the things that light you up and make you who you are.

Realize your personal power – No matter what life throws at us, taking a victim mentality only makes us suffer more. By realizing the ways we have power over our lives, we can feel stronger and more resilient in any obstacle we face.

Seek help  – Going to therapy is an action that would benefit everyone. There is no shame in seeking help. In fact, it is an act of bravery and strength. No matter where you are in the world or what your economic status is, help is available. Samaritans.org is a great international resource to find help. If you or someone you know is in crisis in the United States, you can call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 24/7 at 1 (800) 273-8255 or visit them online.

No matter where we’re at in our lives, it’s important to remember that we can handle loss or change. Human beings are incredibly adaptive. We may struggle at first, but we can get through the toughest of times. Things will get better. Even those who experience thoughts of suicide must know that the suicidal state is almost always transient and temporary. Help is available. You can feel better.  You can conquer whatever internal forces are telling you to give up, and you can go on to have a uniquely meaningful life.

Need help?  If you or someone you know is in crisis or in need of immediate help in the United States, call 1-800-273-TALK (8255). This is a free hotline available 24 hours a day to anyone in emotional distress or suicidal crisis. Visit the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.

Learn strategies for turning your life around in this Webinar — I Hate My Life: Finding a Path to Resilience and Self-Realization

271 comments

  1. I hate my life and at the same I feel guilty cuz I’ve got the most amazing kid on earth and on the other hand I’m stuck in a marriage where I feel like I’m nothing..I feel that my husband doesn’t care about me and my kid and also I sometimes feel like my daddy loves my husband more than me cuz he watches what my husband do to us and yet still tells me that is life and I should be patient and be a wife and sometimes he even thinks that I’m lying if I told him some how my husband is mistreating but yeah he don’t care about me even though when he promised if I accept the arranged marriage he arranged he’ll always be on my side but now I regret for trusting anyone in my life cuz if my own dad can lie me and not care about me than what makes me think that I’m worthy of my husband’s attention or his love. I just feel like I’m stuck in a life where I only have one good thing in my life which is my son and my afraid that someday he’ll be taken away from me. I can’t remember the last time that felt loved my anyone other than my one year old son. I don’t even have real who stood by me. I did the pregnancy by myself and I brought my kid up by myself and handled every abusing situation by myself.

    • I’m sorry it’s hard I know. Please call the women’s hotline THEY CAN HELP
      Please do, they helped me

      Good luck ur brave and a survivor

      • I am a ELL ( English Language Learner student ) so I don’t speak English very well that is why I can’t call that number so can you please tell me what shall I do please? and I also have some reasons so I can’t call that number.

      • I feel the same,

        • I am CNA and graduated in computer sciences. I quit my 14 years job as CNA to follow a nursing program. My husband told me today that I could not find a job because my English is not so great. I am so disappointed of him today.

    • Missnoone: Sometimes, parents will suggest that you stay with your husband because they do not want additional responsibilities of a daughter and grandchild. You should speak to a counselor before you make the decision to stay in your marriage or leave. If you cannot afford a counselor, a clergy will substitute. Either way, you will need a support system for moral support. You will have to go to work and need a babysitter. Being on your own is what you make it. It can be scary bad or it can be scary good. It just depends on how you approach your problem and your solution to life.

    • You poor thing. You sound just like me. All heart and no love. I’m sorry for your suffering. I hope you will find happiness one day.

    • What country do you live in? You are the victim of abuse by your husband and sounds like your father (daddy) also. You need to leave your abusers. No woman, or man either, should have to live with abuse. You need to take your son and go to a women’s shelter. If you stay there you will continue to suffer. I hate my life but I don’t think I could stand my life is I had to deal with an abuser. I will be moving out of this nightmare, dumpy, filthy house soon and into a nice apartment. I won’t have to walk near as much each day so I will have allot more energy. The only pitfall is I have to take my beloved cat to the shelter as my new landlord won’t allow a pet. I hate the abusers of the world; they are not making it a better place. And life is hard enough as it is without having to live with, or work with, an abuser. A man abuser or woman abuser, it doesn’t matter which they need to quit (quit the abusing). It’s just not right. I sure hope you leave. It will be hard but you have to do it for you and your child.

      • I’m sorry for your situation. I’M Ready to run away from my life and family and I have 10 cats and two dogs I care for. My kid deserves a mom is is not alays overwhelmed and irritable. Pleaseto to find a no kill shelter for yoir kitty. It breqks my heart for you qnd kitty to be seperated. They give much love.

    • Missnoone after reading your comment You sound just like me …..but my story more painful

      • Thriving not just surviving

        Really? You have to make sure she knows you’re worse off? Take some responsibility for what’s going on in your life. No matter what it is or the excuses. Make the change. Only you can do it. You’re grown, act like it. Things do happen that are aweful. Trust me, I know this first hand. But continuing to allow yourself to be a victim of your past and not a Victor is on you. Don’t drag others down more because of it. You can do this. You can do right for yourself. Get out of the habit of doing wrong. God bless.

        • Yes! It is put to me if it is to be!
          Stopeping my pity party right now!

        • Don’t victimize her. People like you make others afraid to come forward. Get a grip on yourself first. Don’t blame the victim. She has already made the first step here, and can take “constructive” advice to continue on her journey to heal and feel good about herself. She sounds like a very sweet and trusting soul. I hope you will come through this a stronger person. Just know that ups and downs are normal. Look at the situation as if “you” are a friend of someone going through what is happening in you own life.What would you want for that friend? What would you tell someone you cared about that was in your position? You are someone. You are a Mother. Much more important in every way than your husband, because you gave life, and love.

      • You can’t possibly determine who’s situation is more painful by reading a little paragraph. Even IF you had been through more, so what? Is this a competition? What do you accomplish by saying that? Everyone needs and deserves to be validated. Shame on you for belittling and minimizing her circumstances. Wth is wrong with you??

      • Jeez who cares that your situation is worse if u don’t have any helpful advice then don’t just try to make other people feel bad for you.

    • I’m sorry to hear your situation. I thank you for speaking your feelings out. Know that you are heard. I pray for you. I hope you find happiness in other areas in your life. You are valuable to someone especially your son. We all have something in common by reading this article. I hope we all find happiness.

    • Stay strong, you sound like a good, kind person, with an amazing child. make the change if you can.

    • Be mindful of isolation – this is the first sign of abuse – and in this case it sounds as if your father is a cohort in the process – you begin to think that you are crazy because you are not surrounded by people that would look on your situation and identify if for what it is. When you have both your husband and your support system of your father telling you that your intuition is off kilter – it is time to find a objective point of view – I promise you they will validate your state of affairs – but always remember that in actuality you do not need anyone to validate you – they do not define you – always remember who does.

    • I am so sorry but people like me, you experience these sort of things like every single day even though I am a teenager.

    • Can’t you try and leave the shitty situation? I know it’s easier said than done, but can you not make arrangements to disappear from that hell?

      • I wish it were that easy. I am in a relationship where there is no out . I’m totally reliant on him . I’m going to school and my car got repossessed . So j have to ride into work an hour early because we live out in the middle of nowhere.. I hate my life … And sometimes I can tolerate it .butwhen I disagree with him. It’s hell

        • Jennifer, look for a garage apartment, or room for rent close to where you need to go to school. Find a job near it also. Get a bike. Maybe help the homeowner in exchange for rent. Seek a support group at school, maybe there is a roommate opportunity. Just some ideas for you to look into, and decide from there. No woman should have to live in fear and servitude to an angry, or unappreciative man.

    • I can relate to your feelings .of being ignored.i lost my. ex wife she died. and. my sons are all grown up .and my girlfriend i took care of. after 4 years she dumped me on christmas.she is getting married a month after the date we was suppose to get married. I had so many. Losses i gave up on love greaving. So much stuff .but learned. what i am realy like.i gave up on love and. God .i just cry and all the losses from child hood felt all that pain then had to feel all pain i blocked out in life growing up in a alholic family.and ben sober for 31 years .and 58 years latter im learing who i realy am underneath all the mask i have worn all my life.hang in there go through the pain . itilan road dog .

    • 🙁

      Justice always prevails

      it has to

      or life isn’t just worth it.

    • How about talk to him. Are you a pisces?

      • Sometimes Justice is just getting away from it. Not allowing the continuation. Let the other person suffer over the loss of you and realize their mistakes.

    • Always remember that your are no less than him.Don’t let him treat you this way.Now,i can tell that you have an Asian background.I am from Pakistan.Parents are like that in our regions.He won’t support you in any way.You have to play tactics. Psychological put down will work for your husband.Start treating him unimportant.Listen don’t be rude .Show him that you like the way he treats you.Let him know that you are very happy with your life.Always be busy and be creative and keep talking to him about new ideas like new inventions and technologies or life hacks.It sounds weird but i bet you that it will work.This is making him aware of your worth .He would surely respect you or at least would be scared of your knowledgeable status.Ask him the question to which answers he would never know.This is a slow psychological put down. In front of him act healthy and slowly start pointing on how unmindful he is about his health and body. Dont act this way all of a sudden instead start off slowly.Just keep putting him in troubles in one way or another.Just call his office from an unknown number to complain about the way he acted to you as a costumer.This will make him realize on the way he acts.Add some abusive or harsh comments in this typo work to let his boss be angry at him.During this time be very gentle to him and show him mercy.Just randomly tell him that he is stingy and that he farted tonight while sleeping.This is a brain game to make him feel low. Be honest to him by showing him how bad his behavior is.He must know hes ugly faults.Thanks and do reply on more tips. give me your number to keep up with good work. I’m a lady too.

    • Everything you feel is right, and okay to feel. I know what it feels like to be alone and try to grab onto someone to see if they’ll fill in that spot. YOU have to know you’re better then all of them and ONLY YOU (aka the mom) knows whats best for your son. Guys can’t see what girls can, and that’s ok! Doesn’t mean they have to be in your life. You can do this alone!

    • Hi miss noone god made u special
      U have that bond with your son no one will ever
      Have strengthened your daily hope and faith with your self and with your belief system
      I have been listening to Sirius radio channel 128
      For 2 to 3 hours a day
      I believe its making me a better person and It’s aligning my heart and soul on a daily basis
      I love and relate to what he says
      If you were told you had 24 hours to live
      Are your insides in balance
      Are u at peace with your self
      Now I hope you leave another 50 years but ask your self these questions every night
      May your faith and hope strengthen and your life
      Will be fulfilled

    • Hi,

      I understand your situation and can empathize it because I underwent the same.
      LIsten, life is full of choices. In your marriage, if you feel like you are straining too much, what is the point in continuing the same life. First of all, be yourself and learn that you are not on the earth to act or live according to others expectations… It kills your every moment.

      Secondly, know that we can’t change others. So accept them as they are. Let us change.
      Bring harmony in your relationship.
      I know how distressing your life if you were abused by him (my possible assumption).
      Thirdly, you always have the choice of divorce which should be done only when it is required.

    • That’s sad. I hope that you can do something about it. maybe you should divorce, if you can. go to the social services. anything. even if it makes your dad mad. just get help.

      whizz. xxx

  2. I hate the fact I’m 38 and working a $14 hr job with no future.yet i worked my butt off for a master’s degree that is useless and people around me whom have only a high school education are my superiors.i can barely feed my family and hate my life daily.feeling pathetic daily

    • Hey Jason,

      After reading your comment, I feel compelled to reply. I’m sorry you feel the way you do. I cannot imagine the frustration you must feel in that situation. Just hold on and pull through. I’m rooting for you and your family.

      • I have a lot of stress at school and i feel really alone. I feel like i have no one to talk to and really need help.

        • That’s exactly How I feel my parent don’t under stand I hate school and life it self I can’t sleep at night we have this thing at school called catholic care it take 2 years to get on the list so I’m not on I want to move schools but I don’t want to leave all my friends . We have been to the doctors multiple time and that’s has not helped xx but I hope this has helped you to know that there is someone who feels the same as you xx

        • Sorry to hear that ?. Sending love your way….

        • Well u need a boy friend. That makes u happy

          • That a stupid horrible thing to sa. She doesn’t need a boyfriend, she needs friends to talk to.

    • Jason,

      Getting a degree doesn’t automatically get you an appropriate job; you have to work at it. You appear to have chosen the easy option…

      • Really Calvin? Your opinion is that working through school and earning his master’s degree was the easy option? WOW. Sad.

        I’m sorry to hear about your struggles Jason. I’m having a very similar experience now- I do hope things are getting better for you.

        • Yes Em it is the easy option. Many people think that getting a degree in anything will make you rich, but you have to look at the specific jobs that will pay you the amount you want and worth the extra education you got.

          • No Amelie (& Calvin), it may not necessarily be the “easy” option. I don’t think it’s appropriate for anyone to tell a stranger whether their life is easy or not. We don’t know all the details of that person’s life or what they go thru. You assume that Jason did not look for work in his area of study. Maybe he did & maybe he didn’t, but we don’t know, so why should any of us assume that he hasn’t put in effort?

            I think most of us who have come to this site are obviously suffering some sort of depression & negative thoughts about ourselves, but let’s work on those & not project them onto others. How would any of us feel if we came on here looking for an outlet to talk about our depressed feelings, only to have other people be unsupportive & negative? I know it would me feel worse about myself.

          • No, it’s not an easy option. I have a dual Masters in education and the only job I can get is a preschool special ed teacher. The hourly rate is great if only I can get enough hours. It’s not a salaried job and I get no benefits/healthcare. I deal with children who are real hellraisers, and I hate it. I’ve done the $14/hour job and lost it because the boss was on a power trip then made it impossible for me to get unemployment. On top of that I am habitually depressed and was diagnosed with Asperger’s and misophonia three years ago. I’ve been trying to get out of teaching for years, but I can’t get back into my old field because too much time has passed and I do not make enough money to either go back to school or get training. Interviews are far and in-between and that crock about networking on Linked-In is a crock. Every day I have to go to work is a struggle. I am currently trying to find work, as usual, and it is hard. I have no spouse, family or friends for emotional support or otherwise and my work does not care about the emotional health of its teachers. At this point, I would take a job scooping poop, if I could get one. Anything to get out of working in education.

            The thing about what Jason said is correct. They don’t tell you when you’re pursuing higher education that getting a job is chance. You believe the SH^&% they fill your head with about college making you a success in life. It’s a lie. Who you know and who knows you and likes you enough to help out gets you a job. If I knew then what I knew now I would have forgone college and gotten into a tech vocation, such as programming or even working in healthcare in radiology or surgery, saved my money and stayed out of debt. I’d be okay now.

            Jason, I’m checking into getting vocational retraining via One Stop (Vocational rehab for autistic people is a joke). Maybe they can help me find some money to pay for school or an apprenticeship. I’m also learning code for free. Maybe I can start a small side hustle. As much as I hate the life I have now, forget pride, I just have to keep scraping up the little energy I have left and keep moving.

            Did you try any city, state or private agencies? Did you try linking back to your alma mater? Did you try talking to colleagues you liked at an old job or even schoolmates? Family, friends? Did you try craigslist, job lists, temp agencies and volunteering? Check out side hustling websites? There’s got to be something out there. I wish you luck, Jason. I hope you find something just right for you.

          • Love the mantra SOME people project on this forum. Easy way out you say? There is no easy way out of life. Getting educated in these times of turmoil and depression is not as Simple as getting a Degree or other accolade. I have 2 Diploma’s and a Masters Degree in Engineering. I have 15 years experience and have worked on Multi-Billion dollar projects. I have been unemployed for near on 2 years now. So getting stuffed with qualifications is a paradox of biblical proportions!! My friends around me have near on nil qualifications and can find work easily. Most of the Engineering jobs in WA go overseas for a fraction of the cost. I have a wife and 2 kids, 18 & 21. My wife works in Medical and very secure, but the kids have been unemployed since leaving school. Australia needs to fix this fast or all the valuable talent they have here will go abroad to find work. Sad times indeed.

      • Calvin…nice support. This is not facebook where stupid comments and judgements exist. You don’t know anything about Jason. Just shut up.

      • You don’t know if you’re going to judge people, don’t say anything

    • I understand what you mean, I feel much the same way. I have a job that I hate & will not take me anywhere (nowhere I want to go, anyway). I love the company I work for, but the position I have is very difficult for me & I am having a very hard time with it. I apply for other jobs in the company, but lose out to others with less qualifications or who have been here less time & it makes me feel like something is wrong with me. It’s very demoralizing.
      I feel for you & hope things get better for you soon. It’s hard, but hang in there!

    • Without knowing a thing about you, your master’s degree may have been a mistake. I don’t say that to make you feel worse; I say that to buoy you. You did it once, so you could do it again. Or you could put equal effort into a non-academic direction (promotion at work, etc). I did the same thing (fairly useless communication graduate degree on top of an English undergrad) and I’m at a job that is not fulfilling and I can’t see myself doing it forever. Approaching 40, it’s a bottoming feeling. Writing and self-publishing is my outlet and gives me hope. I also recommend daily exercise (walking/pushups with some hill sprints doesn’t take much time and does wonders for managing depression day-to-day, and it’s free). I’m also a proponent of living a minimalist lifestyle. You might want to look into the Tiny House movement as a way to free up some excess clutter. Plenty of stories such as yours in that community and how people got themselves out.

    • I know exactly how you feel. I am a 39 yr old single mother who is raising two teenage boys on a fixed income. I have worked hard all of my life and it’s gotten me no where. I don’t drink, take drugs, or go out and leave my kids I’ve always put them first. But nothing ever seems to work out its the same shit every day. I work hard to try to move up the corporate ladder and they love my work but won’t promote me to a position with a meaningful salary.People say money won’t buy happiness. Well that’s a crock of shit, try living the low income life. You want to be able to provide for your kids and you can’t, you can’t buy a home and are stuck renting shit hole places in bad neighborhoods. You can’t take vacations etc. Sometimes I just wonder what is the point of it all.

      • Cosmic, I can so relate. I have been a single mother of two girls for over 10 years. It just sucks. I dont go out, do drugs, etc. I provide a stable environment for them. But what ever I do to try to excel nothing goes right. I just down right really hate life and myself. I am tired, unappreciated, hopeless and what else you can describe it. Cosmic if you find the answer to your question, “I just wonder what is the point of it all”. Let me know please.

      • When your children flower into the great people they will be b/c of your loving care, you will know the point of it all… Believe it is all worth it and keep striving to improve your situation. You will get there someday…

        • Regina,

          Not when but IF they flower into the great people they will be. One of mine is suicidal and ran away at 16. He just turned 19 and I don’t know who he even is. He looks at me with a blank stare, chilling stare like he doesn’t care or doesn’t want me there with him. So to Nanasie and Cosmic… sorry but the sad truth is you may be worse off after your children leave you! Regina is wrong. She is polly anna. There is no guarantee that your “children flower into the great people they will be, you will know the point of it all.” I am struggling even more now wondering what the point of it all is. Kids aren’t always worth it, sometimes kids are worse off than the parents and the parent has to either watch that or be an outcast and wonder. Its comparable to a death. I happen to think, while going through it, it is worse than if they died, because if they died, you can at least tell yourself that if they were alive, they would talk to you, and you could enjoy them. But that isn’t true; they are gone by choice, which cuts to the core of a mothers soul. This life makes me so very sad every day. It is rare to get a day that I actually enjoy. Its like torture, only not as bad as the physical level but emotional torture day in and day out. No wonder our muscles ache so much.

          • Hi, I’m a teenage girl aged 16. I’m sorry to say this but if your child is suicidal and seems unwilling to go through life then it is your fault, directly or indirectly. I am going through the same thing as your son is going through and guess what…..my mother is the main reason that I no longer what to live. Instead of trying to help your son, you are wishing him dead. That isn’t right. He didn’t become this way by choice. Try and help him please. That is what I wish that my mother would have the empathy to do for me.

          • Gee, you remind me so much of my peachy mum. Made it clear how much she went through for me, injuring her back during pregnancy at all. Goes around discussing ‘my’ mental health issues behind my back… which I apparently only acquired as an adult by attempting to go ‘no contact’ with her (after having my minimum contact which I worked so hard to develop via my therapist but destroyed by my interfering sister sticking in her little finger and stirring it up).

            She divorced my dad when I was a teen and never contributed a dime to my education – or to really anything much at all – even when I was still in high school. I’d go to the mall with her and watch her shop for herself in our leisure time together.

            She loves to make fun of my student debt, part of which was used to pay her for my car which my Dad wanted me buy for reliability right before I went to grad school. So – just to prove a point – just that once she opened the piggy bank and told me I could pay her back for it after done with school. But she was all over me about that so finally I took out a student loan just to pay her back, even though I was on a scholarship at that point. She is so very stingy and uptight about money and didn’t want it to affect our relationship any longer – and I was sick about hearing what an idiot my dad was.

            Now this past week I was on Facebook to clean it up (because I can’t get a job in my field – a woman and now 50 and don’t fit into the sexist tech culture and many jobs shipped off overseas, big data slamming us little operators – because they can do things free or cheap to take your clients away with their billions from investors; and spam the crap out of your potential customers and the US government does nothing to enforce CAN-SPAM). So there it was – she liked a post which was a cartoon with some guy asking if he could just turn his degree back in because ‘it didn’t work.’

            Her disapproval of my life has been quite clear since I was 22. I have told her straight – I feel your disapproval – and she denies it to my face. And then passively aggressively does junk like this – all the time.

            She loves to triangulate. She loves to talk bad about her kids and grandkids, unless you are one of the current golden ones, then she uses them as her flying monkeys… hmmm…

            In my 30s I was in a long term relationship. Was in a pretty decent relationship and she kept telling me since he was bad with money I shouldn’t marry him. And when his mom died and his father was having problems, told me how – watch out – my dad’s family was a bunch of white trash losers and she wishes she would have run at the beginning. And was like – watch out he will turn out like his dad (today he has a great job and is doing much better than me and told me he was relieved to not have my mom as an in-law – and I get that). And yes, with her neg influence, I fled the relationship, best one I ever had. Yes I take responsibility for that ultimately. When we got together, we had our picture taken – young cute happy. She received a copy which she never displayed. Right before we were about to break up, had our couple picture done again against my will – just totally nagged so I did it, not dressed for it. Then she was all like ‘oh I finally have a picture of you two.’ Because that one was ugly looking and well frankly – she prefers it when things are going bad for me. Why? She doesn’t like it when I am happy. She is much happier when I am miserable.

            Then she can complain to everyone what a disappointment I am to gain sympathy from her ‘friends.’

            So I did have a nice stretch of no contact – about a year or two of absolutely no phone or in-person contact. Finally after many years I actually was on the up! Happy! Because I didn’t have to be miserable to please my mom…. So I finally gave all that up and could feel like what it must feel like to not have someone around rooting for your failure.

            Sadly I made the mistake of going to visit my family last year (it is hard to not get to see anyone because of that one bad apple).

            She still could not understand I was my own person, not some object that she owned.

            The trip was a disaster and this was mostly due to her constantly nagging me to do things exactly as she wished, even though I told her – repeatedly – where I was staying, etc. Just kept insisting that as I was her daughter I should be staying with her. She couldn’t be chill and happy just to see me on the terms I set up for the trip, to ensure I could feel safe (there is more here that I am not getting into…this is already ridiculously long I realize… )

            She denied the reality of my views and existence as a separate person with my own proclivities and preferences during that trip. It is called gaslighting and it is incredibly confusing. She denied everything I said when we actually sat down to talk – that none of what I was saying was true, in terms of the issues we’ve had – basically telling me that my own views of reality were delusional.

            I came home again and I was miserable again. I finally realized after months I was actually experiencing PTSD from the situation. It’s been a terrible year or so. I became so depressed… self-sabotaging myself self-consciously because that is how my mom likes me best – as someone she can lord over as I am not actually a person to her – just an object she created and has rights over. My role is assigned as ‘family loser’ that gets to be the scapegoat.

            But dammit I will get better again!!! I’ve begged her to stop talking about me behind my back. But I know that after the last visit, she could not be bothered to do so. It all got back to me via the sibs. Talking about my mental health still when I am not in the room. Looking to gain sympathy. Gets called on it and still does it habitually. I have just had to grieve – I will never have another mother. I have to be my own mother. It is important for me to stay in that mind set so that I can feel self-nurtured.

            BTW – other relatives have completely stopped talking to her as well – two in particular that she was once very close with. She also loves to dis one of them and spends hours slandering her – it’s like her greatest pastime (except for slandering me).

            Weirdly, this makes me feel even worse. I always thought of her as strong. I hoped there were others there where I could not dwell any longer in a total selfish move toward self-preservation.

            if I had kids, no way would I ever come here and talk about my darlings dear ‘Kathleen Castro.’ I certainly hope you used a fake name… yes, I take some of my anger toward my own mother out on you today Kathleen Castro. I implore YOU to go to therapy before it is too late – before you are too old and set in your ways to change.

            Because as of now, in case they ever GOOGLE you – my advice would be that they escape from you as soon as possible and never look back. That will be the path to mental health.

            It’s funny my mom was so quick to let me know what a disappointment I was. Then finally – and I was already 40+ – it dawned on me what a crappy mom I had! Then I could finally get real, mourn, and FINALLY move on from my depression.

      • I know how you feel. It’s difficult to live live like this. I sincerely hope that your life change in a phenomenal way where luck embrace you like never before and close doors are opened for ever. Your heart will soon dance in joy and all your desires and dreams comes true . This is the prayer of another mother to you and your kids. I am with you wholeheartedly. I really hope happiness comes knocking at ur door very soon so keep your heart open. Love your friend x

      • It is easy to focus in the sad days than good. I hate it even more when I’m told it’s hormonal by my husband. I’m starting to believe it’s true because there’re days I focus more on the bad and not the good. I hate life when I wish I could spend more time with my kids than work. Here is the catch. I also sometimes have to remind myself the people I affect at work and at home. I might not know it now but something I might have said could’ve changed someones outlook in life that day. Why is it that I get the business while my co-workers stuggle? So I think about the impact of what I do and say everyday to the people around me even to my child. Even when I don’t ask for it, I get offered a promotion that I have turned down numerous times. I struggle with this everyday because I know that people measure success monetarily. I make excuses not to take a higher paying job because I want to stay humble. I watch people I know: friends, clients, co-workers, relatives and associates who have higher educations and yield higher paying jobs than I do but are miserable. I would like to ask you to watch the 2004 movie Butterfly Effect and it might just change how perceive your journey in life. God gives each of us a certain task in life. Continue to be thankful that you have the privilege to have an impact in this world. Make it positive and a loving one and God will put you in his favor. Try your best at everything you do and stay positive no matter how hard life is. Our suffering is nothing compared to what God went through already. It’s already taken place and the outcome has already been determined.

      • Damn I feel u I really do but the point is to make sure those boys don’t repeat the cycle

    • Oh wow, you’re the male version of me except I’m older with an MBA and struggling financially. I work a job that doesn’t pay enough for me to pay my bills and I have to live on credit cards and they are almost maxed out. I seriously hate my life and i’m thinking about a complete career change but of course you get all the naysayers telling me I’m too old at 43 to think about doing that.

    • Interesting Jason. You and Me are in the same boat. This is how shitty I feel about it too and that’s why I’m here. It’s brutal.

    • I admire you Jason. I worked 30 yrs in my profession of choice, made good money,got fired and I feel like a total nobody. I hope other doors will open up for u as u are highly educated. I’m a lot older & female, but I know the pain of not getting anywhere with employment. I hope ur situation changes.

      • Neen,I’m in a similar situation. I am a chef,recent corporate shifts led to me being demoted with no explanation,being replaced by a man with no experience in this type of restaurant,and now the GM has me scheduled to run the dining room and bar by myself with 2,that’s right 2 days training. I have been in kitchens for 37 years,I’m 53 years old and scared shitless that this is a way to get me fired if I fail.
        I sought legal counsel,but unless I can prove discrimination,I have to keep my mouth shut. I am miserable and scared that I won’t be able to support my 85 year old father any more. I just want to run away from home.

    • Jason. I understand. Going through the same . But least your doing something than nothing. For your family. It’s hard out there. But keep trying to apply. I’m making a career change to be somewhat my own boss. So I don’t have to deal with certain superiors,coworkers and that company. Good luck!
      Life does change. That I know.

    • Jason, I’m currently in the same situation as you, 4 years ago I was on top of the world, I have 4 masters, had an excelent job, then something happened, now I work at a place where people around me only have highschool degrees, don’t know crap but act as if they know everything and worst of all they are my superiors. Its hard to have my family accustomed to a $45 per hour salary and now have to cut in cost since my current job only pays $10 per hour. I’m the only guy who arrives in a bmw while my coworkers some don’t even have a car. I should really hate my life, but at the end you must realize that life is what you make of it. Keep up your spirit and optimism, life has its ups and dows, and I assure you that things will get better, but you have to change things in your life. Never except something to change if you keep on doing the same things.

  3. What do you do when you don’t feel that anyone supports you, especially your husband? I feel like I have to prove that he is wrong. Not a way to live. I even get criticized for wanting the house clean. I don’t ask for help, I just do it, but I have to hear that I’m a perfectionist (hardly the case – It doesn’t happen that often). Is that guilt on their part for not helping? I’m expected to help support others’ projects, but get no help with mine. I get negativity.

  4. I also hate my life at least tonight. I read the article and I understand the words but can’t figure out how they fit with me, or not. I have been unhappy in my marriage basically since the beginning and we do therapy each and have done therapy together and it just seems to be the same old same old same old all the time. I feel totally unconnected to my husband and because I feel like that should be my primary connection, I don’t seek or allow any other connections with other people to be better or deeper. Since the bar’s so low, this has just made me feel isolated and very alone. I recently started back at work after working PT from home and raising my 3 boys and I like some things about it but it’s making me hate being home for some reason. Now I find my kids annoying whereas before I was more in their enchanted headspace and able to meet them there and in joy. My husband doesn’t give a shit about me. All the therapists seem to think things could change but change has been slow and I am so mad at him and frustrated and bored that I wonder that even if things change it’s too late anyway. I have feelings of hate for him. He ignores me all the time and then says or acts like that is normal and expected behavior in a family. I have become accustomed to it and I have become smaller and I resent the shit out of him for that. As I write this a lightbulb comes on that maybe I’ve expected him to see me as Someone because I don’t see myself as Someone in the first place. Since I started back at work in an office I have been kind of mean to my kids, frustrated with them for expecting me to do and give everything to them – I really get mad at them even for asking for things that when I wasn’t working I was able to give them a lot more. I feel bad about this because it’s not their fault I decided to go back to work and I am thinking of quitting. What if I quit and I still don’t like hanging around them, i.e. I am not able to go back to the land of enchantment? I just feel horrible. I feel like a horrible mean parent. I feel stuck in a loveless marriage. I feel addicted to the fantasy of my husband actually noticing me or caring about my feelings. F*ck him. He’s really incapable of that because of his own neurological issues. I hate my life. Why am I feeling so damn grumpy a lot of the time? Maybe it’s a pre-menopause thing. I am 44. YUUUUUUUUCK. I just feel yucky all the time. Grumpy. I don’t remember last time I felt glee or freedom or joy or romance. I feel that I can’t feel these things while I am trapped inside this crappy marriage. I know this is self-pity; I am thinking maybe if I purge it by saying it, it will go away.

    • Sara,
      From reading your post it seems to me you are a bit overwhelmed, with only recently returning to work and I’m sure you’re giving a lot of yourself at the office then upon returning home you have little to no energy remains to give more of yourself. Don’t blame yourself for your lack of energy. What do you do if anything to recharge? You need to recharge in order to meet the demands of your kids you use to have the energy for. Don’t be so hard on yourself, you can’t give what you don’t have, thus you get frustrated. As selfish as it may seem you need to take care of you first before you can be a better more patient person for your kids. Find some YOU time to recharge, even its just an hour before you go home or when you get home to just collect yourself and refocus, even if that’s just taking a long bath with some headphones, something to bring you some calm. The worse thing we can do is depend on someone else to make us happy, we cannot control them, that’s why we have to put the energy into making ourselves happy, because we can control that. Remember, people like to be around people that are happy. Find little wats to make yourself smile at lease once a day, even if you try to fake it, it will come naturally, np because it’s the body’s natural state is to be happy.

      All the best to you Sara!!! And 44 is still considered young, so don’t waste your young life. Anyone older than 44 would love to be your age. 😉

      • I’ve got no kids, other than my husband, because that’s exactly what it feels like. He’s a child I need to guide by hand from step to step and when I let go, I get called childish, irresponsible and that I need to get over myself.
        It’s been always like this, and just gets worst by the days. Love or passion doesn’t even exist no more, even though all he wants it’s sex and sex like a horny teenager. How am I supposed to feel any kind of attraction by a man that doesn’t give me any sense of security.
        He doesn’t everything he tells me not to do, and then point the finger at me like it’s my fault.
        I’m not from this country, but I’ve moved here by myself and been very happy here until I married him, and now he wants me to quit my job and move to another state I don’t even like. On his own words “we are going wether you like it or not. So yeah I can relate to the marriage situation.
        I hope it improved, and that you now find yourself happy ?

    • I feel your pain dear. I hate my life and my loveless marriage. The only solution for me is to leave and start from scratch. I have 5 kids and no place to go to.

    • YOU JUST NEED LOVE! I use to feel that way when I was married to my ex. I knew that was not love so I kept searching and searching till I found it! Now I find myself feeling down because I feel unappreciated but this time is from my kids (5 kids) except from the baby that is 18 months. With all this technology is like they don’t care about me. Reading all this is helping me a lot and helping me clear out my mind, what I think of your situation is that your marriage has sunk, you obviously need your husband’s support, you not wanting to be home is yourself looking out for you, you can see how the world is out there and has realize you exist. Is like if you are to eat something sour if you go in there and you don’t want to eat it anymore, so the same way yourself is tired of looking for the attention of your boring husband. Your husband is does not care about you because he’s in the comfort trusted zone of thinking that he’s got your love and you will never walk away. Well that happend to mine. Love yourself

    • OMG— I seriously thought that maybe this was a post I put up and forgot about. I don’t know if it makes you feel any better at all, but you could be me. I’ve also felt this way since the beginning of my marriage and also “excuse” my husband’s ways for some “neurological disorder”. Take care of yourself. BTW— I’m about 10 years older than you and the frustration only gets more debilitating.

  5. There are so many people that have a story to tell ..
    Some worse than others .. It’s so sad to see this
    I am also one of those people but sharing my story doesn’t help anyone . It makes others sad or feel there situation is okay compared to mine .. In saying this
    The only advice I can give I have solace in prayer and this somehow gets me through .. Silence is also another remedy if you don’t want to talk ..
    Good luck and God bless

    • Louise….

      Sharing helps others know they are not alone in their situation. It’s what humans need most. Your story us worth telling.

  6. I hate my life!! I have no friends nobody to talk to or anything. I know it’s my own fault because I can’t trust people. But I hate feeling like I’m all alone. I have a boyfriend but our relationship sucks so bad. I’m always thinking he is cheating and he is always thinking I’m cheating. What am I suppose to do?? I use to be so happy and now I feel like crap all the time. I’m so negative about everything. Where did the old me go?

    • Yeah I hate my life too. And my friends don’t really talk to me or anything and I don’t really know them.
      And I don’t think anybody cares about me.

      I think it’s better to not have a boyfriend, or maybe have better communication. It’s also better to have a group of friends to check with before you have a boyfriend. That’s why I don’t have a boyfriend. but then again I never had a group of friends.

      I also feel disconnected to myself.

    • Michelle! Is there anything you enjoy doing? Reading, for example, writing? Running? Blogging? These can all be a positive outlet and a source of distraction. What do you think about mostly? How about volunteering someplace close to home, it’s a great way to feel valued and you’ll meet wonderful new friends. Once you’re in a good place a boyfriend will follow and so will good friends. Hopefully one day you can share your experience with someone in your current position and help them to see that they too can create their own light at the end of the tunnel. Kick that negative inner voice to the curb and take hold of your future!!!

      All the best!!!

    • I dont know if i hate my life or my mother. i blame her for almost everything but its because she is such a fucked up and bitter person, i just really hate her. She’s not motherly at all. she is just someone who had a bunch of kids. She uses the way her parents treated her as an excuse for why she treated/treats us like shit. its bullshit because i have 3 older siblings that give their children the WORLD! something we’ve never had. she’s just bitter that she had to go through 3 different men that didnt want her and had 4 children she didnt want. my stepdad used to be really cool until her bitterness consumed him. i live with them and my two younger brothers that they have together. and i believe thats why she hates me so much. my dad told me that my mom resented him most because she wanted him so bad.. while on the other hand she told me he said i wasnt his child. both stories may be true but they are both valid reasons for her bitterness. for many many years i hated my dad based on the things my mom told me about him, and its crazy how every one else on his side of the family LOVES him. my mom on the other hand, doesnt speak to any of her family and the people on her job hates her and she doesnt have any friends. its dawning on me that she has been the reason why me and my dad havent been close for all these years! im sobbing! that is so fucked up! she always referred to him as the “fun daddy” because my dad always spoiled me and made sure i had fun around him! she was so jealous! none of her other “baby daddies” did nothing for their children but she hated mine because he did and he wasnt with her. As i got older she would tell me “he never did shit for you!” over time, my dad did start doing less because he figured why do for a child that hates me because of what her mom is telling her? Basically i was pushing him out my life because of her. She didnt wanna help me with school, she didnt wanna teach me how to drive or how to use a washer/dryer. she doesnt wanna teach me how to cook! nothing! but gets extremely upset because all of her children are lazy and she made us that way! Sometimes i ask God why did he give me her as a “mother” because she is the root of all my problems. To get extremely personal, ive turned to having sex with alot of boys because i didnt have love AT ALL growing up. i did not have a relationship at all with my mom or my dad. Me and my only sister was separated when i was 11 so i had no one to look up to. things have gotten so hectic with her and i, i have decided to live in my car because i just cannot take it anymore! Hopefully things get better for me, i dont really know how to pray but im hoping that God, helps me with this hate in my heart as well as my “mom”. I really needed to vent.

      • I think that some of your dad giving up was actually his fault. Yeah, you may have resented him at one point, but he’s your dad. He’s not just supposed to give up on you. That’s the reason I dislike my father. He makes no effort because he knows I don’t like him (he knows that I know he talks about my mother, and how he never wanted me). When I was 9 he even had me blood tested because he didn’t believe I was his child. I’m 18. My mother is also quite bitter, and verbally abusive. How old are you? You sound young. There are shelters for young people/domestic abuse, and places for you to go. You may not have to live in your car. I feel for you.

    • I’m in the same situation. I got married to someone that didn’t treat me right, moved across the country from my family, 8 years ago and now they have all passed away and I have no one. Ive lost touch with all my friends and I’m so insecure now. I used to be fun and have a lot of friends but not anymore. I’m really disappointed with myself.

  7. Any other parentified children who have come to hate their life?

    I grew up as a very serious child. My parents had a very tumultuous relationship, and expressed their dislike for one another as long as I can remember… Dad wanted a partner to help him in his business) and understand him; Mom wanted someone to take care of her, let her get dressed up, and take her out on the town. At age five, I remember my father huffing and puffing on cigarettes, and telling me my mother didn’t understand him at all–he was angry–and I remember so well how helpless I felt. From the time I was eight years old, I worked with my father after school in his meat market. I was the only one of my three sisters to do so. My mother never worked outside the house. My father relied on me to help him with his accounts payable, wait on customers, and even do meat cutting after school. This transferred to the home, where I started to help with the finances. My mom had no interest in helping with the finances, and so my Dad “trained” me. As the eldest, I was a straight A student, and got into UCLA in 1980. I couldn’t live on campus, however, because I still worked in the family business and was responsible for my two sisters, moving them in and out of their dorms in their college. I worked all through college; my sisters didn’t. This was expected of me. Now, I am an educator myself, and at 52, I am caring evenings for my 88 and 82-year-old parents. They still fight daily and can’t stand each other. I feel great resentment that I am responsible for so much, and even provide a good deal for them financially, with all the stress they continually put me through. My mother only approves of me when I do whatever she wants and dotes on her. It’s like she has no conception of what I did growing up and even what I do for a living. She doesn’t seem to care. My Dad still complains day and night about my mom and how she doesn’t understand him. Today, he threw down his metal cane in frustration. My sisters stay away because they “can’t take it” and don’t want to hear about my stress in this situation. I am so filled with hurt and resentment. I feel so alone!! I also do all the paperwork for my parents and my disabled brother. He has been in and out of the psychiatric hospital numerous times, suffering from OCD which is exascerbated by all the fighting between my parents. I was told as a young adult in college that I had the potential to succeed in graduate school (very high ACT scores, straight As at UCLA); but I would have had to leave home, and I wasn’t “permitted” to do so. I am so hurt now at age 52 about all of this. I keep wondering how my life would have been different if I would have been a bit selfish and actually lived a childhood. I still have a hard time having fun; I don’t know how to play card or board games, or sports, or such pastimes children my age engaged in. I am prone to depression and anxiety. Thank you for listening– Perhaps someday, after my parents have passed on, I will finish my Master’s Degree in Psych (I was half-through) and study the healing of parentified children. I am burnt out and burdened, and I hate my life.

    • Sorry to hear that Anna, I feel burnt out myself. Family can really drag you down.

    • Hi Anna,
      Thank you for sharing your story. I think you are an amazing person to be so caring of your family. I do think it’s time for you to start living your own life. Maybe someone else could take over the care of your parents. I think it sounds like it’s time for the other sister’s to step up to the plate and you go and do what you want. You have given so much and now it’s your turn to believe in yourself and get something just for you. Don’t wait until your patents pass. Show them how amazing life is. I wish you all the happiness in the world.

    • @anna so sad to read your story. you sound like my oldest son 40 years from now. my husband and i have a loveless relationship and fight all the time… with my husband being extremely emotionally abusive. i am forced to work for his business and work at home and am not allowed to seek outside employment although all 4 of our kids are school aged now. if i express wanting to do something else my husband starts in on the guilt trips and telling me what a looser i am, how i cant do anything else, and how i need him and he’s the best thing that i will ever have. he insists that he and the kids deserve a better mother and wife than me. i am SO close to just packing a bag and hitting the pavement… but i truly love my kids and can’t stand the thought of them feeling that i gave up on them or abandoned them. i just feel SO STUCK. i have no resources and have never held a job. got married at 18, im 32 now. i can’t see how i can support the kids on my own and don’t WANT to put them through a complicated divorce. My husband is so malicious and will say or do anything to get his way, especially if he can find a way to discredit and slander me… believe he will. I don’t know what to do. I have to figure out HOW to start being independent and the ADULT in my kids lives so they don’t have to worry their entire childhood away and then grow up and take care of me like Anne does for her parents! You deserve to live your own life Anne. Your parents let you down by not healing themselves and depending on YOU from such a young age. I truly hope you find peace and the freedom to live your own life.

    • Anna. By posting, you have shown your courage. Nobody can take away your accomplishments. I have struggled with drugs and alcohol, and depression. I hate my life too.

    • Dear Anna,

      As someone in similar situation, I will tell you what will I do. I will be extremly selfish, I will leave and I won’t feel any guilt. I used to feel for people like this, feeling guilty – not anymore. If anyone wants to be offended, it’s their problem. If I let them screw up my whole life, it’s my fault. And I think after all this shit my life has become I deserve to be happy once again. F.. them. Just leave, today if you can! Finish your master and learn how to play a boardgame! And actually enjoy your life. It’s your life not theirs, f..!

  8. I hate my life. Im 32, divorced and no children. In high school i had a ton of friends and no worries. Now im constantly bullied by grown women at work, one who happens to be dating my ex husband. I have an awesome job, own my own house and an easy going boyfriend but i cant get over the past. 5 years ago i left my “perfect” (so people think) husband. I walked away with nothing hoping that people wouldn’t have anything negative to say. Instead my husband chose to tell people that i had mental issues. Of course that woild be the only reason for a girl to leave. I never retalliated. We only had mutual friends together which made it very difficult. The girls sided with him and i have 15min guy friend that chose to stay neutral. It hurts to the core that people i considered best friends chose to believe his lies. No one knows how he’s really like. I went through everything by myself including a miscarriage. I trust no one now and only have 1 friend that i became close with after the separation. I hate where i live because i constantly have to see my ex husband and his family. I love my job but hate the cattiness of he women here. I feel like and can now relate to high school bullying.
    Because im tall, blonde, smart and successful now people have to find faults in me. I just want to be invisible. Im just so tired of being miserable. I just want to start life over.

    • I meant to type ” 1 guy friend”

    • 1 Thessalonians 4:11-12Amplified Bible (AMP)

      11 and to make it your ambition to live quietly and peacefully, and to mind your own affairs and work with your hands, just as we directed you, 12 so that you will behave properly toward outsiders [exhibiting good character, personal integrity, and moral courage worthy of the respect of the outside world], and be dependent on no one and in need of nothing [be self-supporting].

      Philippians 4:8Amplified Bible (AMP)

      8 Finally, [a]believers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable and worthy of respect, whatever is right and confirmed by God’s word, whatever is pure and wholesome, whatever is lovely and brings peace, whatever is admirable and of good repute; if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think continually on these things [center your mind on them, and implant them in your heart].

      Ephesians 5:30New King James Version (NKJV)

      30 For we are members of His body,[a] of His flesh and of His bones.

  9. I thought it was just me

  10. I just want to have snough money to pay my bills and never havebto leave my apartment if I don’t have to. I’m just so tired 9f people in general… I tried so hard to adapt from being an introvert and engage at college and work but I’m still so naive about how casually duplicitous people can be for no reason amongst other things. I can work directly with people for about 4 hours before I start having a breakdown and all I want to do is to be left alone so I can sleep all day.

    I cant connect with people like normal people can and I’m tired of having to keep forcing myself to keep trying. I cant even understand how people tolerate relationships… how can you stand to have a person around you so much?

    • Cas, I can relate. Being an introvert and having a myriad of other problems to deal with, have taken a toll on my life too. I have worked hard at a job for over 14 years, and despite being very good at it, I was never given the promotions that I deserved, and work only part time. I would have left except I had a major health crisis and no family support which prevented me from taking that leap. That health crisis took about six years out of the prime of my life, the time when people are supposed to be building their careers and their lives. After over a decade, I am only finishing a Bachelor degree, that probably won’t get me any better employment. I live with an ex because that is all I can afford right now, and don’t have anyone else to turn to. I worry that my life will never get any better, despite how hard I work at improvement every single day. I think what is especially hard as an introvert, and without familial support, I feel like I am completely alone, without any support or help which creates stress and anxiety on top of an already difficult situation.

    • I know exactly how you feel.. I hate always changing who I am to seem like a normal person. I enjoy staying indoors and do not like going out all of the time. I feel so alone, but reading your comment made me feel better only because “now I know I’m not the only one who feels that way. I hate how we have to pretend to be someone else to fit in. …

  11. I hate my life too. I’m trapped in a city I despise because of my wife’s career while I have a career that would allow me to work in almost any major city in the world. I would like to travel but my wife won’t leave, we have no friends and I have a 2.5 hour commute every day. I just work all week and then sit in my apartment all weekend, rinse and repeat.

  12. I hate my life because my mom won’t take the time to listen to me or even look at me! Ever sence her dad dies she has been pushing me away and it hurts. It hurts really bad.

    • I know it can be difficult, but just hold on!! Your mom probably feels the right to mourn (which she actually has) and may not have enough inner strength to realize what she’s provoking in you. Show her your love and maybe write her a letter letting her know you’re sorry about her loss but that you also need her and feel very alone… If it’s done with love, the response will be a good one… Hugs and peace for you

  13. Sure,
    I also hate my small life.

  14. oh!so said to hear you. all are so sad!please don’t be sad and pray god to bring you in a better condition

    • Anna, not everyone believes in God, nor does God come down and rescue people. We have to do that ourselves, and the path is not always known.

  15. Hello All

    Ok here I go; I hate my life too but maybe I should stop thinking about what I don’t have and concentrate on what I do have and make it better. I learnt many years ago that you can only find true happiness when you find yourself and depend only on yourself. Back then I was in control and happy. Somehow I lost my way but if I could do it then I know I have the ability to do it again.

    I could tell you my story but there is no point because it has all passed. I don’t think anyone would believe me anyway and honestly do you really think anyone cares, truly cares.. It’s not going to help you is it. Only you can change it if you care enough about yourself.

    If you don’t like your life and trust me I am going to take my own advice on this, grab the bull by the horns and change it. Write a list of things you hate and target one thing at a time until you have changed it into what you want it to be. Take each day and do something towards changing what you hate so much. Stop drinking, stop smoking, lose weight, get a social life and join some meetup groups, change your job, if you don’t have a job get one.

    You see if you are doing something towards changing your life you wont feel half as bad.

    Start with your home and have a good clear out as one thing I’ve found is that clutter makes you feel worse because you cannot think clearly.

    If you hate your job, minimise your work load by finding better ways to manager it, set yourself a daily task at work so you always reach your daily goal then switch off when you leave the job.

    Do something, anything instead of wasting time thinking about how bad your life is.

    Rant over.. Now I’m going to take my own advice and do something about my life.

    Happy days can be yours again 🙂

    • Hi Louise,

      I loved your comments….they have inspired me. Maybe thats it….maybe…if we all offload but add some inspirational advice as well….then there’s hope…there’s light…..that’s what we all need. ..
      We want to know there is a brighter future. …because there is..

      but its starts with…..l

      let’s all begin…together we can xxxxx

    • Best advice on here Louise. Time to work on that list. We might not be able to change everything, but we can work towards changing what we can, and that is how things become better.

    • Thank you, for the inspiration. I know how you feel. I’m feeling down for a bit now and for days I feel like not doing anything. I don’t want to hurt myself. I just want to run, drive until I can feel better. I know what can help me, although it seems not to work. Or maybe just because I’m not patient…I kept reading and looking for answers that will help me. I kept looking outside of myself. Then you just made me realize it starts with me. I need to want it. I have to start with ME. It’s overwhelming…but I know the answer already. I have to divide and conquer. Maybe today, I’ll just take a good long shower and that would be enough. Then tomorrow, a little bit more…

    • that words is relly help me more than dr selvatore`s speach so thank you .. wish you the best

    • Lelia Denise Mckay

      Good advice

  16. Yeah. I hate my life too. Im 26. My mother died in a car accident 4 years ago. She died when I was almost at the hospital. when I got there all that was left was her lifeless body. My grandparents died 6 and 5 years ago and had dementia. I took care of them because they raised me my siblings didnt care and left me alone. Ive been manipulated and used by my brother for years until i moved far away. My father could careless if I were dead never even sent a card on my birthday. I spend most of my days at work just to be broke after bills. I have no choice but to live with my sister who lets her disrespectful bum boyfriend do whatever he wants makes me pay rent but he doesnt have to pay for anything. FML

    • Yeah. I hate my life too. Im 26. My mother died in a car accident 4 years ago. She died when I was almost at the hospital. when I got there all that was left was her lifeless body. My grandparents died 6 and 5 years ago and had dementia. I took care of them because they raised me my siblings didnt care and left me alone. Ive been manipulated and used by my brother for years until i moved far away. My father could careless if I were dead never even sent a card on my birthday. I spend most of my days at work just to be broke after bills. I have no choice but to live with my sister who lets her disrespectful bum boyfriend do whatever he wants makes me pay rent but he doesnt have to pay for anything. Im shaken up by a bad car accident i was in 5 months ago. As I write this i have a UTI but i cant even afford patient first right now. All I ask is Why?

  17. I can’t say I hate my life, but I hate this moment in it. I’ve been with my girlfriend for five years. And she has been probably the most terrible person to me that I’ve ever met but God only knows why I fell in love with her. She constantly gets mad over everything, stuff I have no control over, meanwhile I’m doing everything I can just to make her happy and maintain our relationship. I’ve accepted everything about her, she had a child before I met her and he was two when I showed up into the picture. Now his seven and I love him just as much as I do her. But she doesn’t care about anything when she gets mad, over me putting two different socks on him that u can’t see under his shoes when his at school she will start a huge fight and move out of our apartment that I can’t afford by myself and leave for a week, which leave not only me but her own child in a bad spot, she works nights which means I’m the only one there to raise him and when she does that it just puts both of us in a stressful state for literally no reason. Then that brings up how she is always at work and I’m left to do everything alone. I raise her child like his my own bymyself, I clean the mess she leaves behind in our apartment, I make dinner by myself. It just sucks because she doesn’t appreciate any of it. She acts like she doesn’t care, I’ve done so much to keep her happy, the worst part of all of it is about a year ago we went to the doctor and I usually don’t go with her because she never wanted me to but I had to this time, and her doctor slipped out that she has hiv and instead of running out the door I grabbed her hand and said I love her. Even though for four years she never told me that shit!!!! God that shit still makes me mad! But because for no reason at all I love her so damn much I stayed with her, now on top of everything else I have to worry about that.

  18. I’m 23 and I was a cna I loved my job and I was happy until I got arrested for welfare fraud and I lost everything. I hate myself now I’m looking for part time jobs and I sense of stability. My girlfriend of almost two years is amazing I love her to death she’s a carpenter and takes great care of me but I feel like I’m nothing. I’ve always felt different but I feel like I really don’t belong here. I just hate my life. Im lost. Again.

  19. I hate my life I’m already 27 years old but everything was so miserable i don’t know what to do i hate because until now i don’t have permanent job, i hate because nothing good happens in my life .. I fell god doesn’t want to listen my prayer.

  20. Im 32 and i feel like a failure. I suffer from depression and anxiety and just recently realizing lack of self worth. I dated guys looking for love all my life an never found it. Just when i thought i did i got pregnant again for the 6th time. Im realizing that he is lazy an he hasnt had a job since we met. 6 months. I have no car or license because in 2006 someone stole my license an rented a car at some shoddy place an crashed it. State farm is suing me for 18000 dollars. I work a menial job for $7.75 an hour an can never pay this off. I was in school but withdrew an now i cant go back until i pay the loans. Im finally starting to change an it feels like its too late. Ive ruined my credit, my education, my chances at finding a real man. Everything. I dont know where to begin in fixing it. Everyone thinks im happy because i smile thru the pain. I used to wish i was dead but now i just wanna live an try to make it better. I just wish i knew where to start. Ive tried crowdfunding to raise money to start my own company but that only seems to work for big people who already have nice lives an money. Theres no help or sympathy for poverty stricken mothers who need a second chance. I applied for section 8 rent in hopes of saving money but didnt get a ticket due to the fact that it was a lottery style drawing for recipients. I know a man who got a section 8 voucher who has no kids but i have 5, am on disability and working for minimum wage an stillcant get one. I feel like i need a blessing or a break but realize life doesnt work that way. I might be doomed to live in poverty forever while i watch all my dreams die. I really hate my life. I feel guilty because my kids are awesome an depend on me. They deserve a better mom who can give them the life they deserve. Growing up isaw life as a fairy tale ending. Now i see the cold reality is i might die poor.

  21. hi,
    i m nishikant from india.
    i m 20 years old and i think that i m very depressed bcoz i hate my life, dont want to talk anyone, i hate my friends, always i think negatively… so what should i do??

  22. I hate my life. my boyfriend of 14 years is abusive. he is mainly verbally abusive and will break things. he is the only person I have. no one else shows up if my car is broken down. no one else loves me money or checks on me when I’m sick. my father’s not my life and my mother using me for money. I don’t connect well with other people p. Always have to watch my back. people would stab me in the back over the littlest thing. I want to move to a new city but I’m so scared. if I have nothing in a place I have lived for so long. how will I ever have something in a new place where I know no one. I ruin my credit and use all my retirement savings to live

    • Dear Rhonie,

      You know, I used to be scared of not having no one to call when my car broke down. So let me tell you what happend to me. I left abusive boyfriend. Then after finally let go of resentment realized it’s only me my resentment hurts – I found out there is now a wast energy pool inside me ( now that no one was draining daily), getting to be good at what I had to do for a living and hated it, starting to progress, met and bonded with strange and nice people because of my constant car trouble, getting to be more independent and confident up to a point I wasn’t scared anymore and today I drive a most beautiful car in my small city and wouldn’t be in a abusive relationship for nothing. I’m still not in the place where I want to be, I still hate my job, but it openedva lot of doors for me I didn’t even know they were there, nade mw some noney and contacts and hopefully I will have ny own company soon. So the message is, let go of the things that’s making you miserable. It’s a long and hard process! But start and never look back, just move forward and doors will open. I wish you good luck.

  23. I F****N HATE MY LIFE!!!!

  24. i cant really say i hate my life but the problem is that its just blank,,nothing is happening i find myself just reading anything to keep my mind off life,,i finished school a year ago with good results but my single mom cant afford to send me to college,,please help me lighten up my mind

    • What do you want to study at college? If you had good results search for scholarships. Remember there is always more then one way to do something. All through our lives we are told to follow rules set by society, “go to college, get a good job.” You know who does not follow the rules? There people you admire, think about them, look deep study them, you might find people’s lives Havant gone as smoothly as you thought. Success leaves clues. Don’t make excuses, don’t be a victim.

    • Lelia Denise Mckay

      Can you apply for government grants to go to college? Call your college of choice and ask for them to help you get started.

  25. If I can add my own tale. I’ve been with my partner for over twenty years.

    My wife is from a large and close family; I am from a family which imploded when I was a teenager and my parents divorced, and I haven’t spoken to my siblings or my parents in about ten years.

    After we’d been together eleven years, we starting arguing about getting married (she wanted to; I couldn’t see the point). Ended up getting married because “that’s what all normal people do” and “what’s the point of the relationship if we don’t get married, if it’s not going anywhere”. A year or so after we married, she said we should start trying for a child. Now, I’ve never wanted kids, but – again – all “normal” people do, and I’d surely change my mind and become happy with the idea. Despite me being reduced to tears, arguments and sadness, we had our son (I loved my wife, and if this was the price then so be it). And then, we had to have another child “because it would be cruel to just have a single child, so lonely”. Finally, after the second child, I was able to get the nerve to argue that I should get a vasectomy.

    And you know what – I still don’t like this life. I feel as if I’m kind of playing a role, being the dad for someone else’s children, like some sort of over-involved babysitter. Of yes, and now we have a dog, too. And again, I quite openly said I did not want a dog, but “all normal families have one and it’ll be good for the children”.

    I’m in the same job I’ve had for nearly twenty years – it’s a small and specialised field, and if I left then I’d have to go and work for a competitor. Plus, I’m currently the only employee, and if I left then my boss would be shafted. It means I sit in an office on my own all day every day; at home or at weekends I try and play the good dad; I have no friends (literally, no friends).

    B***dy sick of it, but have no options. I guess you could say I’ve painted myself into a corner, so I’ll just keep aging into a bitter, bitter old man.

    • Similar thing for me. I’m a woman. I felt like my options were limited or zero when I was young. Everyone else was getting a family and I was trying so hard to get a job that could support me and give me some kind of future, that’s all I wanted. I wanted to leave my country but circumstances kept pulling me back like a whip around my neck. I couldn’t find a job that paid enough so I went to college and, social conditioning surfaced and I had a child. That’s the end, isn’t it? For the next 18 years your life is over and then you feel old. That was 16 years ago and it’s true, there were limited options before (if any), with a child those chances go into the negative. I’ve been so frustrated. I’ve been strong and lived the way I wanted as far as my limited means allow and I’ve raised my child to be strong and free, but the frustration is a constant. I’ve been to university, got a degree, and I have ambitions, but still no job at all. And no chance really of getting one, with no experience except raising my child and working in menial roles. I was always so ambitious and my school teachers told me to aim high, but how? When there weren’t any chances and now who’ll employ me?
      I sometimes feel like I’m living someone elses life. I’m 39 and feel old and young at the same time. Young because I want to live life. Old because I’m bombarded with images of successful people in their 20s and everyone my age looks like a wreck, is married and nothing in common with me. I didn’t have that success in my 20s, I had a child. Now is it too late? I just want to live life.
      Like you I feel I’ve painted myself into a corner, though I couldn’t see any other way at the time, but I just want chances, I want to feel alive and I want to live. I can’t see how I can get a job though with no experience at all.

  26. I have been feeling like I hate my life for a little over a week now. I can feel myself being so depressed, so much now that I lay down and cry and I have no appetite. I am so unhappy, and the messed up thing is that I am pregnant. I am 6 and a half months pregnant and I feel so depressed. My partner really tries to make me happy, but about 65% of the time makes me feel worse. The other day we were arguing and he even denied his child. It made me feel so bad that I have been thinking about it non stop since then. He supports me financially, but I feel so alone emotionally. We live in separate houses, and I truly feel like I’ve made a big mistake. I love the child growing inside of me, but I know for a fact that he’s not the person for me. First of all, he doesn’t satisfy me sexually. When I need him here he’s always working because he’s a landlord and has alot of properties in the city he’s always having to deal with something or fixing something. Iam tired of feeling lonely all the time. Although he gives me what I need financially, it’s just emotionally he’s not in the same world I’m in, because I believe you should satisfy your partner in all aspects, and that’s what I do for him. The people upstairs from me are always having sex, like 3-4 times a day everyday. I have to hear this shit, and it’s like where is the passion in my life. Why do I have to be so alone. My boyfriend only like to have sex like once a week, twice if I’m lucky, it’s like a waste of time. He’s done so quick it’s like, I might as well not have any sex at all. I know the bitch upstairs from me has very temporary relationships and I know this is probably temporary, but I’m like why can’t I get that good sex. I am feeling very lonely too. I know I can go to my partners house, but he’s working all the time, and there’s no passion in our relationship anymore. I know he loves me and is trying, and what I expect from him is probably not his style of doing things, but where’s the passion. Sometimes we just sit on the couch and watch TV and I’m looking at him like why are you so boring. Why do I have to subject myself to this boring ass life, why does my life lack passion. He takes me to restaurants and I’m like, my life doesn’t revolve around food. I don’t need this, I need him to be more loving and compassionate. He did apologize for denying his child and said he said it because he was angry, but it’s like he makes me not want to have children ever again with a comment like that. Also he constantly accuses me that I will return to my ex who I had a 13 year relationship with. I am sick and tired of it. I can’t wait til I have my child, so I can go have a drink with some friends and have a little fun in my life, because I’m just in complete misery right now. I will be on birth control forever after this. I will take good care of my child but I just want to have some fun and passion in my life again. I feel like I’m stuck in a hole with no way of getting out for the next 90 days. I will try to eat for my child inside of me I know it has to remain healthy. I see no end to this depression until I have my child. I have been tied down in two major relationships most of my life, and this one just sucks. I feel alone, I’m not being satisfied sexually and emotionally, and I feel like this person doesn’t even understand me and cares more about his business than me and his child. I just want to find that same passion that I had in my first relationship that lasted 13 years. I wish I never left it, I never stopped loving that man and he never stopped loving me. I just feel like I betrayed him and there’s no turning back. Now I’m stuck in this relationship with a guy that I do love but I can’t stand at the same time. My partner doesn’t even believe in oral sex, like how boring and lame is that. I don’t mean to seem so selfish, but I think I deserve someone who is on the same page as me. Before I got pregnant I was so happy with my life, I was never depressed ever. I can’t believe iam in this situation right now. Iam usually a very confident woman, and iam sexy too. I don’t feel sexy right now with this pregnancy, but I know I can get back on track after I have the baby. I just hate my life right now, I’m not suicidal, but I am just frustrated and lacking passion that I require, and I feel stuck and I think I will continue to feel this way until after my child is born. After that I am confident that I will be fine. Currently counting down the days, feeling absolutely miserable.

  27. I really liked this post. It was very spot on to how I am feeling. My mom just puts so much pressure on me and when I don’t live up to her standards it’s like I’m some worthless child. I’ve been trying to pretend i am happy but it’s getting so hard. I barely even see my dad anymore and he was once my best friend. My boyfriend and I broke up almost a year ago and it’s so hard to get through some things without him. He was always there to encourage me and now I have no one.

    • just get over that guy and have your focus towards your life…if he has left you then there is no point to think of a guy like him..
      in relationships the couple need to be supportive and console each other in ups and downs so its nothing out of the world thing he was doing to you..
      you should at present think of giving your best..try to be with people from whom you get positive vibes..start communicating with your dad..
      and believe me there is a guy around you already or at least in you recent future who will be the real one to keep you happy and at the same time be really thinking for your welfare..he wont leave you abruptly like that ex of yours..

  28. Like the rest of you, I hate my life as it is now… Similar to Matt, I live in a state that I despise because I moved here to be with my husband who has an “amazing” job here. We have no friends or family here, and I commute 2 hours per day, work my ass off, and then sit at home all weekend and argue with my husband who is lazy, overweight, and basically ignores me to watch TV, go on his laptop/phone, or any other activity rather than spending quality time with me. The majority of my days are spent alone either in the car, or sitting at home with our cat. I’m incredibly lonely and stressed all the time. I tried Meetup groups to meet friends, I ended up meeting this girl who called me her “bestie” after a month and I thought we hit it off, then the friendship ended abruptly when she found other people to replace me and they started excluding me from activities (30 year old women…. pathetic). So, I’m alone again. I can’t go to any meetup groups in our small town anymore because this woman hates me and has turned many of the members in the group against me by telling them negative things….Every week is the same, and every weekend is the same. I forget what it feels like to be excited, happy, passionate, enthusiastic, or motivated. I feel like I’m serving a prison sentence.

  29. I may only be in high school but I hate my life. My crush who is perfect for me fails to realize that and loves another girl only because she’s super pretty. My best friends seemed to have turned against me for popularity and boyfriends, and I’m always made fun of. My parents are super poor and living with my grandpa for about five years, which my grandma died a few years back While I was home, which still scars me. My dad literly hates me, he’s told me himself along with physical and mental abuse, and my mom is always sick and has very bad cancer and we’re not sure if she’ll make it. My brother is the favorite child and bullies me, and my little sister died six years ago. I’ve cried myself to sleep each night praying to god for things to get better, but with each new day my life gets worse. But honestly I was a mistake to be born, my dad almost always hated me it seems. I’ve been called fat and ugly and stupid by my own family but they will always say “I’m joking” or “I’m kidding” but they don’t mean it because their bad liars. I’ve tried suicide, but can only go to far before I’m about permanently hurt myself and my life though I hate it. When I was born the umbilical cord was wrapped around my neck and they were unsure if I was going to live. The next day I dropped four pounds and was living in pain. When I was two and three me and my family moved twice and started losing money. When I was four my parents were going to get divorced and I had bruises and scars on my back that bleed when I’d lay back down on my bed, which my dad had done. When I was five we my dad lost one of his jobs and my dog got hit by a car, and I was threatened to break into a house, and if I didn’t I would be harmed. When I was six my mom got pregnant with a baby girl but lost her, and I was still abused. When I was seven, a boys mom accused me of sexually assaulting him, though the boy almost raped me and told his mom that I refused so she spread the rumor, so we moved. When I was eight I got made fun of and I ran away from home for a week, and returned only because I beat up a child molester who tried to pick me up, so the cops returned me home and told my parents I needed boarding school. So I went to boarding school for five years taking abuse from others until my parents decided to take me back to public schools because it cost to much, and I was suspended for defending this little girl who was bloody and beaten up badly, so I knocked out the bully in a punch and I GOT SUSPENDED. So when I returned I ate lunch in the bathroom alone and wore black makeup to make people stay away from me, so they’d feel uncomfortable. So I went on and life got worse, but I was never a bad kid I just was never treated right. And BTW I never ended in drugs or alcohol but now I wish I did, and I’ve never felt love.

    • Bless u ❤ I pray you are happy always remember god gives his best warriors the toughest battles hang on please I have been there it gets better just have a leap of faith

    • Kid, I take my hat off. I wish to be so brave when I was a kid! Look, it’s simple as that, you are un a really really sh..ty position and it’s not your fault. Start planning your future cause in a year or two you will be a free woman. Choose a job that you will be good at! With this amount of courage you can achieve great stuff once your independed. Remove your abusive parent out of your life as soon as you can, but be smart! and don’t get yourself in trouble. I bet on you seceeding.

    • Hey, I’m a 17 year old boy in Kenya. it may not seem like much but this far away I’m angry for you. I feel like telling you to get up and fight but that’s hypocritical given my depressional and suicidal issues. I epathise with you and wish I could meet you. I’ve just never met someone as broken and fucked up inside as me.

    • You’re not alone. Im 17 and being a shy and socially awkward introvert I often seek friendship online (in as safe a way as possible of course) and when I try to tell others my story they seem to think that so much tragedy has befallen me that it can’t possibly be true. But i guess some people really are that unlucky. My mum also has cancer. We also aren’t sure if she’s going to make it. As with the Dad issues, mine aren’t remotely as extreme but nevertheless the relationship with my Dad is far from comfortable. Just to amplify the situation my parents constantly fight which makes my mum worse. Also, I have serious OCD which i take medication for and that no matter how much therapy i get, doesn’t seem to go away so I’ve learned to deal with it as best I can. Of course, my Dad dismisses it as ‘silly ways’ as most of my contamination issues are with him. I feel terrible for acting that way around him but he doesn’t seem to realise that I have no choice about this. My mum is more understanding. My three older sisters are intermittent about it. I go to university in England soon and the added stress of final exams and the pressure is near killing me. Im currently sat alone downstairs at 1am needing to finish an essay for my English coursework. But feel i am unable to do so as im emotionally unstable having argued with my mum and then sobbing for what may have been the first time in months. Life sucks. But it can only get easier can’t it? Chin up. x

      • If I may ask, how are you doing now? I’m 16 and am about to begin my last year of school and I am feeling the same pressure that you are. I also have severe asthma stemming from very premature birth so I know how it feels to constantly be on medication. I hope you are doing well and preparing for university.

  30. HOW do I do that at 59. I married my husband out of school at 18 and have been married for 40 years. He is brain damaged (not o that others can see but he is a kind of psychopath since he cares only for himself) – he has ruined my heart for his much yelling. For a third of our life he was the sole breadwinner and now that he has to do it he screams me to death everyday. He can’t hold a conversation. he watches only old movies that’s he understand and has done for years and years. There is no tenderness in his soul except for animals (weirdly). now in his business (BECAUSE he woke up late to find that he had run out of money) i have to be his TYPIST. a TYPIST in this day and age. I type invoices and statements and letters and why should i do this hateful work. .. actually, I shouldn’t have written this too much to say and no plan for me whatsoever. I have rheumatoid arthritis and I can no longer cope. He’s been a ultra distance all of his life and he will outlive me 10 to 1 so there’s nothing for me. I live on a plot in South Africa where we live behind our own bars. I cannot do anything in this awful house because he sees everything as HIS. I have been weakminded (and yet I have a high IQ) but I am ashamed that I stayed. I stayed because I couldn’t see another woman have part in the rearing of my 2 sons. They grew up under the table where I worked and I taught them values. But those values helped me nothing. I will die in a foreign scenario, never having been happy at all (but for the birth of my sons). So sorry.

    • Please take time to reflect …..have you tried other methods, I.e.meditation, exercise? I am an addict, and I go to meetings. It’s hard for me to believe in God, but maybe just the fact that you posted?……..when was the last time you laughed? ….for me, it’s been at least two years…….I hate my life too.

      • I am sorry Dave, I don’t think meditation will help her. When someone is in a screw up situation meditation doesn’t help. That’s like your house is on fire and you are chanting ‘I am not hot, I am not hot’.

        Dear ZeeZee, your husband is a deadbeat, your sons are old enough to take for themselves (as I understood), just take the money and valuables you need (you have a right to half) and leave. You can still find peace or a new man. Just gather the courage to leave. Just wake up one morning, don’t think, and just leave.

  31. I hate my life. I am on medication for bipolar disorder and anxiety. Also I can’t sleep at night, and I am on medication for that. I can never find the good in anything in life. Basically I just exist. I have no one to hang out with. I spend 99% of my time locked in my bedroom.

    Life sucks.

  32. It’s funny.. how you all feel lonely, like serving a prison sentence.
    that’s exactly what we all are doing..
    This is just a big labour camp people, and we are all just prisoners here.
    read about the history of money.. the new world order.. It’s not a conspiracy “theory” people.
    It’s the truth. The only guys benefiting from we working our ass off are the guys that sit up there and control this game..
    I am an introvert myself, just like the above person I locked inside my room ages ago.
    But I was reading this whole time..
    and now I don’t feel that bad.. cos I know everyone is screwed up.. out of pure ignorance.
    Now I am waiting for people to wake up and retaliate.
    It’s a lot to write here.. don’t work like a slave.. do your own research.
    let people know. that’s the only way out..

    death to the bankster.

  33. I found myself here because I Googled “when you hate your life”. Right now I’m fighting the urge to cry. Nothing happened. I’m just so unhappy. I volunteered to work on Christmas and boxing day because I hate being at home. I always feel like a failure. Like Im failing at being a female adult. I don’t have any friends or boyfriend so I can’t even find a family of choice. I feel like if I talk to anyone about how I feel, they’ll ask me to go to church or see a pastor and that’s not something I’ll be interested in doing ever. Im never going to lose hope that one day things will get better. I tried to hide my misery but i think i gave up on that. The sadness is starting to show on my face. I don’t have motivation to do anything. I just exist

    • Same here Rose. I hate my life. I’m 59, can’t seem to find work. I’m an engineer. Messed up my life with substance abuse. Try laughing (I know, I can’t either). Maybe try crying ( I have been able to a couple times, but basically just puffs of water come out, and I go back to being depressed). I’m voting for Bernie.

      • Hi Dave,
        Nobody is getting their needs met these days and it is not an accicdent there’s so much misery among ordinary people. The system is designed to squeeze every drop of work and love and energy out of us and then leave us with nothing. Bernie understands that too, but the rich own everything including the once golden American dream. That got stolen too. We all have to organize and stick together in affinity groups and FIGHT BACK to make a liveable world, where ordinary people like ALL of us can get our needs met and care for a dying planet too, before it is too late for the Earth herself. The abuse is ubiquitous and everyone alive, human and carrying a beating heart…is getting skinned alive. Look for ways to connect with other like-minded people and then never look back. Once you feel as if you are part of a vast movement to improve things and relieve pointless suffering everywhere, you will be MUCH better off, and that goes for EVERY PERSON who has posted here. Love to you and every hurting betrayed creature anywhere in the world. We are treated as if we are the only ones going through this ****, but the SYSTEM WANTS us to believe we are all suffering alone and that it is OUR FAULT but that is a terrible abusive LIE. When people know how badly they have been SCAMMED in just about everything that matters the isolation will be gone and people will stop taking “it” out on one another. Marx was right. But the modern rapacious and globalized economy is so vicious and pervasive and unescapable that we literally have to MAKE A WHOLE DIFFERENT SOCIETY!! Learn about workers’ coops and intentional communities.Teach yourselves different ways to make another world. It can be done. It is happening now but not fast enough because the critical mass hasn’t been reached yet…but hopefully it soon will be…so when we look around we will SEE healing projects everywhere and be inspired by that to emulate such efforts. Richard Woolf, Noam Chomsky, Ralph Nader are three excellent people to learn from about this stuff and much more. NONE OF THIS MODERN HORRORSHOW LIFE is accidental. And We the People can make a better world once we know there is NO ALTERNATIVE. We are all meat until something changes deeply, consciously and from the INSIDE OUT and from the BOTTOM UP!! And no one else can or will do it except all of us here and everywhere.

  34. I just feel like no one really cares about me like when im sad I go to my room to cry then I here my parents having fun and laughing witch makes me feel like no one actually cares about me. I feel so alone everyday trying to forget about it but I cant anymore

    • Bless u ❤ I pray you are happy always remember god gives his best warriors the toughest battles hang on please I have been there it gets better just have a leap of faith

  35. I could not agree more! I’m 18, but I absolutely hate my life since my high school years. Reading all the comments above just make me felt that I’m not alone. Ok, maybe not because I just dont know where to seek for help in this kind of matter since I live in Malaysia. Myself being an introvert doesnt actually make me felt down in the first place because maybe, just maybe I am unique in my own terms. But in this kind of society, it’s absolute NO-NO. Even my parents, despite already know my situation, could not solve the matter and instead force me to conform it. I dont blame them though, but thats how I got totally out of my mind. My friends? They probably never understand the whole picture since they assume it as normal, but look, in my own perspective, it can harm myself at a long term if I didnt address this seriously.As they tend to be ignorant at all times, how would I seek help? Thats how I got depressed and severe anxiety, and I just wish I could escape the whole ordeal. Being a college student (and I hate being a student) forces me to become extroverted, andI’m struggling with it and end up being miserable.

    Oh the world should be a better place to live if no one determines or judging how we should live orwhat to do to fulfill their expectations.

  36. It’s look like i’m stuck in life.I am 20 years old but my attitude is like a kids. My friends called me kid. I am very much fed up with it. I don’t know what to do?

  37. Well for a Good man like me that really hates being Single and alone right now which i am very much hoping to meet a Good woman to share my life with, it really Sucks Not to have a love life today.

  38. I read this post and was amazed that everybody is going through something,we are not alone the best thing to do is love yourself and be positive and be happy.I know it’s easier said than done cause I’m going through shit myself but at the end if the day life goes on stay away from negative people and strive off positive.

  39. Why do i hate my life?
    i just hate where i ended up.
    im 29 & living with my grandparents after my ex broke up with me. The same day i moved out his mom told me infront of my parents that she had went to her therapist that day and told her if i didnt leave she was planning on murdering me, chopping my body into piece where no one could find me. My ex was cheating on me with some russian girl & she moved in quickly. I dont have a car or friends. Fuck my life

    • Actually, maybe you are not realizing how lucky you are. You have just gotten away from a life with a woman who would torture you your whole life, and her probably norman bates type son. You’re so young, and you were just given a new chance in life! Your grandparents will not stop you to be happy, they are too old even if they whished to 😉 Poor russian girl.

  40. I hate this feeling of being so alone I’m only 18 years old n already have made some really poor choices in my life, I don’t want to put the blame on
    Anyone or feel this isn’t my fault I feel the first step is taking responsibility. I grew up around abuse not on me but my mom was beaten a lot my dad was a contractor we had a lot of nice things growing up I have 2 sisters n 1 brother weall grew up around this my dad was very selfish n full oof himself he put himself before his own kids well my mom n dad split when I was ten I was the only one left with my dad he didn’t abuse me but her verbally abused me throughput my whole life he’s not a positive person at all I went through a lot of struggles growing up there were times I had to walk in the freezing cold for 3 miles to get back n forth to work because my father didn’t want to pick me up when he had the time but was to busy drinking. I never got my license an we live in the woods I feel so isolated from the outside world I quit school halfway through my junior year, because the bus transport didn’t go to my house it was out of jurisdiction so I had to walk miles to get home. N I have no job or license. Its really tough I keep positive . its just sad to see so much talent n such a good person go to waste I have so much give but so little to show.

  41. Let’s make this simple, my dad is an asshole you haven’t met one till you’ve met him everyone hates him he’s a very unpleasant person he’s rude he’s negative n he’s all about himself me myself trying to grow up as a decent man find it hard when u have such a child of a father he thinks he’s so great because he’s done well for himself but doesn’t see the other values in.life itself besides money. Yes money is nice to have but its besides that to keep people happy n to keep em going I never had anyone give me confidence or the encouragement to do anything productive with my life I always was veribally abused badly. N shot down of my hopes n dreams he always told me hes helping me face reality for the big world I just can’t take it anymore but I’m stuck I have no job no license n I don’t go to school I wasted all my talents I ever had an I have so many I’m very intelligent but was always called a dumbass goes to show I need a miracle

  42. I’ve always been able to bounce back. But I’ve always had backup. My dad died 5 years ago and though we had a horrible relationship, I could always count on that safety net when shit fell through. He died, I didn’t have my shit together, and my hateful judgemental brothers teamed up to throw me and our mother out on the street. I was with a guy who was having a very hard time making his life right. And together, we changed it all. Left everything but my kids behind. Moved two states away where we know no-one, (a good thing) and saved each other’s lives. But we’ve always had an emotionally erratic relationship, and I’ve had enough of trying to avoid a fight, feeling unappreciated and worthless, lied to, manipulated, defending my children, completely alone and unhappy. But now, I have no family except for my kids, no friends, no job. Burned all those bridges… I’ve tried since we moved here to get a job, but no luck. I’ve been stabbed in the back too many times to trust anyone to make friends. And family would only help with ulterior motives so I don’t trust them either. My mom is also now gone and she had it worse than me before she died because of family. Jobs are scarce, and my own past doesn’t help my resume. I still love him, but as long as I have no way to leave, he will just continue to mistreat us. No, not abuse us. He’s just an asshole. And maybe he’s bipolar or something because I can’t understand why he’s such an asshole. And this is just the tip of the iceberg; my problems have become titanic…

  43. God help…I have never been so miserable in my life! I am a 60 year old woman, married to (which USED to be) a wonderful man…three years ago we had to bring our disabled 41 year old daughter home. She has several mental and physical disorders. My 66 year old husband lost his VP executive job 7 years ago and has been on a depression crash course. As of late he seems to be holding it together EXCEPT it is obvious he resents the daughter. I am a loving nurturing person…I cook, clean, run errands, take daughter to EVERY doctor visit, I take care of illness, I take care of all the animals…my daughter helps now and then to the best of her ability. I Had cancer in November….I am tired and get no help from my husband friends or family…I have not had a drink in 20 years…oops…I have a drink every night now…beginning to worry….

    • Jennifer, take it from a lifelong alcoholic…..it isn’t pleasant being in throes of addiction. If you’re thinking drinking might be becoming a problem, you’re probably right. Stop it! It doesn’t help!

  44. I’ve read all of your posts…the only thing that comes to mind is ‘Opinions are like a**holes; Everybody has one’. I am the worst when it comes to opinions…I pretty much hate this crazy world that we’ve, yes I say WE’VE, created. It takes all I have anymore to get up and step out into the Insanity….and no, I’m not living my own life: like so many others out there I am a single, underemployed mother with the responsibility of raising a child…oh and no spring chicken either if I want to get real about my life accomplishments…NONE. What we resist…persists. Including resisting the sad truth that what we resist… persists. Should I loop that statement around one more time? Ten more times? An infinite amount of times? Cuz that’s what it feels like most everyday to the depths of my soul…an infinite loop of blatant insanity…maybe by design. If you’re the conspiracy theorist type that is…I’ve always been the one to speculate whether we might have it backwards…that insane is the norm and that the ‘societal normal’ is the true insanity. I mean it is a bit conspicuous now that every other commercial force-fed to us on television either deals with some physiological dis-ease or a depression of some sort. Then if you’re brave enough to put your well being in the hands of Big Pharma, you might find some sort of relief briefly…until all of the other side effects of your miracle pill end up killing you anyway. I can’t really say how long I’ve been depressed…all of my life?…when I was yanked into the blinding light of this world terrified to my very soul that some horrible mistake had been made and I ended up in the wrong place? Or did it start when the ‘episodes’ happened…a toddler pinned down on the couch screaming and writhing to get out from under the weight of a raging mother on top of her tiny chest while the pillow on her tiny face stole her breath harder and faster with near death suffocating blackness being all she could see? And to this very day…DECADES later…I still wonder most bitterly what it was that had me fight back to survive rather than just surrender to my demise. What is it that has ALL victims of abuse continue the struggle to survive versus choosing the possibility of a way out…of relinquishing this neverending fight for the sake of what might be true emancipation? Perhaps it is the possibility of the real unspoken truth…and that is that we all come into this world with a deep self-loathing whether we realize it or not and that this Game of Survival that we all seem to be bound by in one form or fashion…rich/poor…beautiful/homely…normal/handicapped…family/orphaned…privileged/forgotten…famous/anonymous…loved/hated…..this game of Life is merely the way that we work through….each and every one of us…the great Hypocrisy of ‘Self’…..funny…anymore these days I just see my’Self’ as some insignificant speck floating around doing whatever it is that specks of nothing do…moving about…taking up space…and passing time. And so it continues…

  45. I hate my life. I lost my only son aged 21 and 7 months. Why am I living and he is not. I really hate my life. I hated it before he was born, loved my life after he came and for 21 years and 7 months that he was here. Just loved my life and him. Now I hate my life worse than before. I dont even want to hear how to make it better, without my boy. Life just sucks.

  46. I love my life… What he is…

  47. My comment is a little different. Few actually believe me though I bare the mental and lately physical scars.

    I have been cheated on bu 11 different women,yes I am not kidding.Don’t give me the lame ass excuse ‘oh you must have met the wrong type’ . I am not perfect but a loyal,devoted hardworking honest man. I don’t understand why one man has to go through this emotional hell on Earth? I have no criminal pat or violent tendancies.

    I don’t understand this,I am becoming afraid of all women,are you all natural liars?

    • Hello Henry, woman speaking, no we are not LOL. It’s interesting, you said ´I don’t understand why one man has to go through this emotional hell on Earth’, one lady before you said something about ‘Game of Survival´and two different persons mentioned ‘prison’. It sure feels like that, like we are in some sort of loop we can’t get out, some sort of pattern we can’t escape, some sort of prison which surrounds us and won’t let us out. Different for everyone, but in some way the same, like our own personal version of hell.

      Henry, I don’t know, but I think if you could laugh at this, it could maybe help! I mean man, 11 different woman…

  48. I try so hard to stop feeling miserable but no matter what I do, I just can’t seem to catch a lucky break from this meddlesome dark cloud of misfortune. This constant bad luck torments me everyday and these occurrences range anywhere from being the most petty nuisance incidence; such as things that keep falling and breaking around me, or my clothes getting caught and ripped on a tiny splinter or door handles the most unlikely spot, missing an important call that I was waiting on all day because the phone happens to ring the very moment I enter the toilet or during another inappropriate minute that I step away. The more worse cases of bad luck manifest as life changing disasters such as ending up disabled from adverse reaction to medication and then losing my ability to self care, independance, job, friends and being stuck alone and isolated in my room everyday. And the rest of the badluck I experience everyday fits anywhere in between these varying levels. Whatever task, goal, activity I try to do, this jinx rears its ugly head and intervenes. Whenever I buy something its always damaged, broken, or rotten and the replacement often ends up just as bad. Usually takes me 3 tries to finally resolve it and by that time the staff become annoyed or suspicious with disbelief that I could be so unlucky so many times in a row. I find a large part of my time is spent ringing my bank, electricity provider and other utilities trying to resolve all the errors that keep occuring on my bills way too often. Each time I contact them a different staff member assures me the mistake will be corrected and resolved by the next billing cycle but it never does and just drags on month after month. When I try to fight and resist the misfortune by stubbornly continuing on with my activity in an undeterred manner, I get a momentary false sense that Im going to beat it but then suddenly all hell breaks lose as it unleashes a far more worse outcome. Its almost as if the whole thing is intentional as it happens like it was planned and with precission timing. I cant even talk to anyone about it because no one is likely to believe the severity and how regularly it happens. It enough to spiral me into depression. I could fill up a book if I was to start listing all the different misfortunate occurrences that keep happening to me. even if no one believes me or responds, it’s still just good to vent and get it off my chest.

    • I am angry all the time & don’t want to be . I am financially fine and married but we were unable to have children . Spent a lot of money trying but ended up with uterine cancer from invetro but I am over all that but emotionally I am sooo unhappy. Not close at all to family and friends all seem to be living their own life and moving forward I am stuck in a dark place sad & want to get out and live life

  49. My problems are small compared to all of yours, but I just need to get this out. I’m pansexual in a Christian family. My mom knows it and says she’s okay with it, but her actions towards gays in the media and just in life suggest otherwise. I feel persecuted. I also feel like my life is headed nowhere- there’s nothing I’m good at and I hate school. Especially math. My way of expressing myself is through what I wear, but I go to a uniform school. This may seem like a small, petty issue to some, but to me it’s really difficult not having an outlet to express myself. I have a couple friends at school, but there’s really no connection. I did have a best friend, but I’m in love with her and that damaged our relationship. I sit at home all the time because there is nothing at all to do. My sister is depressed and cries all the time, my parents don’t like each other; none of us are satisfied with our lives. I’m an empath, which means other people’s emotions severely affect mine so all this negativity really drains me. I try to be happy and uplifting to my family all the time, but it’s really wearing me out. I simply feel empty and I don’t know what to do.

    • Not a whole lot I can help with but have you tried anything musically? Guitar, piano and singing I great ways of expression. I used to be very pessimistic about life. I enjoyed nothing but singing, teo bad had a terrible case of stage fright. I sucked it up through high school and when I entered the work force I found that most adults don’t really care you sound terrible. Long story short, I’m a lot happier now because I find my passion. We all need an escape from our terrible lives

  50. Hello
    my name is Ebrahim. Im 14 and i leave in Iran.
    I HATE MY LIFE
    be cause of my family…
    my father is very very angry always with my mother and i . and my mother is a bad smoker.
    All of my scores is school always is very good and they say that i am intelligent.
    but my family is poor and i cant contune my studies. on the other hand , in Iran there is not any places that i can study well.
    i dont have any hope.
    🙁
    maybe some of you dont help me or dont want to help me be cause i leave in Iran and i am a muslim but i really need help

    if It is possible that i can go to other country , please say me .

    i am really in bad suitation

  51. Hello dear Ebrahim,

    We humans do not chose where we are born or what culture we are born into. I can not help you although I feel for you. Iran is changing a lot and I hope that your children will get to experience a life with choices. You should prepare yourself for not having a choice. I am very sorry. I admire you for being able to see what is going on. It is dangerous to have a mind of your own in a culture that dictates only one mind. You are very brave.

    Best regards little one, best of luck to you.

  52. hello all I’m very sorry to read all of u I hate my life too I’m 27 years old and I’m nothing no education no job I can’t do anything good I’m just useless person……… when I cry all night I feel better cry with my self coz I don’t want my kids to see me cry they r small and I love them sooo much they r everything too mere

  53. My beautiful pregnant daughter died, I have to pay $2000 a month alimony even though I’m disabled from a fall I took, I can’t work, I have chronic pain, my girlfriend is angry all the time, there is no intimacy in our relationship, I take care of my mom who has dementia, I hate my life.

    • I am so so sorry, I can’t imagine the pain you must be feeling. Things will get better ): And you are going to become a stronger persosn out of this

  54. Hi,
    I also feel like I hate my life. People look at me and probably think why? You live in Canada, you have a family that cares for you and your healthy.
    But I do, I really do hate my life right now and I want change.
    First thing is, this guy that I really really really liked, pretty much flirted with me untill he got sex a few times and then he just started ignoring me. I have to see him at work all the time and it kills me. It kills me that I gave him so much and he forgot about me just like that. He talks to everyone except me. It makes me feel like a hug piece of shit.
    Secondly, I have this friend who literally makes me drive her EVERYWHERE and never pays for gas…It’s so irritating !! And she pulls the whole (you’re my best friend and I love you) thing just so she can get rides everywhere. We go horseback riding twice a week which is cool but its 45 mins out of the city so i have to do a lot of driving…and she never pays. I don’t even feel like she’s even a friend. She doesn’t even barley talk to me when she’s in my car and she will literally ignore me! I’ll ask her something and she won’t respond. How rude.
    Third thing, this guy who is a good friend of mine likes me. and won’t leave me alone!! He follows me around at work all day, texts me non stop, and asks so hangout so often its really irritating. I like him as a friend only.
    Oh yeah and my one friend who is an awesome girl and never gets on my nerves (unlike everyone else) Is amazing and I love hanging with her! The only thing is, she’s way prettier than me so everytime we go out guys only talk to her and I’m left there feeling like a huge piece of shit once again.
    So yeah I hate my life. It really does such right now. I want to escape cause I do cry a lot. I’m not happy that’s for sure…

  55. What I face today is a lot anger and frustration as well as pain it way to much to type I’m 35 years old I’ve had 3 surgeries within a year caused me to loose my fav job on top of it I have six kids 2 biological and 4 step I’m a father and can’t find much help in my location I’ve been forced to move 1400 miles away and yeah I hate my life right Now
    Any advice

  56. I hate my life because I have no life. I’m 24 years old, still living with my parents, have no friends at all, and I can’t go anywhere unless it’s with them, which is really annoying. I used to have a job, working with my mother, but it got shut down. I asked them if I could go to the gym, which is only $10 a month. I was told the excuse about money problems. I’m gaining more weight lately because I can’t exercise in the house (it’s too narrow and small and there are animals that get in my way). I can walk around the neighborhood, but it bothers me when there are kids outside for some reason and I don’t fit in my jeans anymore. I ask for fruit, but they only get very little fruit and most of it gets eaten by my stepfather, who doesn’t even care about his weight. I ask them if to help me get a job, but they use gas prices as an excuse. I understand that gas is really expensive and they don’t get paid a lot, but my stepfather somehow manages to buy alcohol one to three times a week, and it’s really expensive, more than the gym I want to go to to get in shape. I wish they would just let me go and live my own life and make friends. I’m not sad about it, but I am lonely. I stay away from them because I believe they’re most of the problem. I also do believe that I am part of the problem, because I had a chance to go to college. I failed the exam and got nervous, because I didn’t know a lot about college. I wanted to retake the exam, though, but they wouldn’t let me. I’m getting more and more angry thinking about it. Sometimes I even think about getting pregnant out of spite, but I won’t (because I feel that it would be unfair to my baby) and cutting myself out of spite (not to commit suicide). I feel like I’m changing for the worse. I even watch adult videos to forget about my stress, but I don’t want to do that. I want to get out and have fun hanging out with people that aren’t blood relatives. I used to be responsible – got good grades, helped my mother clean the house, make sure my brother listened to them, offered to help cook and do laundry only to be told no – but now I just stopped helping them as much because I feel like responsibility got me nowhere. I’d ask another family member for help, but they can’t since they live in another state and my stepsister, who was the only one who helped me out, is in college, also in another state, I believe. I also feel like I have limited choices in jobs because of short term memory loss due to brain damage, but I know I could improve it if I read more. My brother and stepfather are loud, and my brother is almost always home. (He WAS irresponsible, but he has a job and some friends. I am happy for him though. I don’t want him to go through what I’m going through. I just hate it when he complains about how bad his life is when he knows I have it worse. He does have a right to complain about how our stepfather treats him unfairly though.) They spoil (bribe) me, but I hate it. I want to work for things and not sit around all day doing nothing. People who complain about their jobs piss me off, but, until now, I say nothing because I might say something too harsh. I just feel like they don’t know how good they have it because they’re at least surrounded by people they can talk to and make friends with. They also get to leave the house for awhile. I would LOVE to trade places with them if I could.

  57. So here’s my story of why I hate my life. I’m a 16 year-old guy who has a serious mountain of problems to climb over. Let’s see, where do I start? Well, I have a heart condition called a bi-cuspid aortic valve. Basically, It doesn’t allow me to do most forms of exercise. I weigh in at 175 pounds and at the moment I have a really bad self-image. I feel like I need to lose weight, because the layer of fat on my body as well as my love handles and face aren’t things that satisfy me whatsoever. My dad used to be somewhat of an alcoholic, but he’s been sober for over a year and a half. In order to compensate for not having his evening glass of scotch, he brings loads and loads of junk food into the house and eats it at night. I have a very hard time maintaining my willpower around it. Being uncomfortable with my body and face, my mother and I consulted a nutritionist to try and assemble a proper eating plan that would help me lose weight. The nutritionist told me that I am at a healthy weight for a 5’11” tall 16 year-old, but the problem is that my body fat percentage is too high. Every other day my mother gives me $6 to go out during my lunch period during school and get lunch, but I never eat. I just stay in my school’s library, doing homework and studying. I resorted to this after following the nutritionist’s plan for about a month, and I didn’t see any results. I feel like there is no hope for me to get into great shape due to my slow metabolism and my heart condition. On the other hand, I don’t have many friends, but the ones I do have are from other towns and they rarely are able to get together. I feel like I never fit in with anybody in my grade because they have already solidified their own friend groups that I have tried to get into in the past, but failed to succeed. my parents tried to help but they don’t do anything that helps me. If someone could reply on here, it would be greatly appreciated.

    • Man I hate my life also. I’m depressed emotionless tired weak full of all kinds of selfish pity and regrets from my past choices of abuse. The only hope I truly find an answer for the torments within is giving my heart to the Lord of Lords Jesus Christ. He can hold the heart in a healing nurturing way like non other. When we obey his words and use his words to fight the spirits of the devil.

  58. I won’t say i hate my life caz it could be worse but i’m in a desperate situation and i need some advise i’m 18 doing a law degree i’ve always tried my best in school and gotten good grades it seems as though my parents dont appreciate my efforts my dad constantly makes rude remarks “you sld jus come out of school”, which im sure he doesn’t mean caz if i did he would freak im frustrated i got exams in two weeks and hes constantly nagging me i feel like not even writing these exams. he constantly verbally abuses my mom and i can’t take it . sometimes im always sad and crying i dont know what to do. 🙁

  59. Well for a Good single man like me that really wanted to meet a Good woman to settle down with which it Really would make my life great instead of very sad which being Single And Alone all the time really Sucks for me.

  60. I’m having such a hard time, I want to leave my situation every single day. Things have just accentuated, because we finally became financially secure, but now have doubled our him stress by taking I’m two grandchildren that were taken away from my step daughter. I haven’t had a vacation in 17 years. My husband and I haven’t even taken a honeymoon, or has 24 hours alone together, ever! Maybe its too much to ask for a little adult time, but, I don’t know who I am anymore, and have been struggling to stay sane this last year, with circumstances as they are. I try my hardest, and its not enough. I’m damned if I do, and I’m.damned if I don’t. Feeling resentful, and pouring my heart out to those around me who matter most, does nothing but create more issues than the fake smile and broken person that hides behind my facade. Thanks for any advice!

  61. Try having a spinal cord tumor and than tell me how much you hate life…. I hate mine, lost my job and everything else due to it in my twenties. Im sick of being in pain everyday…

  62. Hey, hey, I think we understand so much more than I would like to expain and understand. I love all that is scared to me, by brother and my sister…. If they love it and is extremely happly and love it then….I’m down like 2 flat tires……When my family is happy than trust and belive I’m a Happy Camper. Do you my Brother!! DONT look back and think what should have been or was about to be done…. there…… we are …AND we are WHO We are. Trust and Believe…….

  63. I hate my life and feel powerless to change it. My wife of 8 years has Stage 4 Melanoma. She is getting better. We have two wonderful kids. Boy 7 and girl 6. I work a 12 HR swing shift 12hrs a day /12hrs nights.I hate my job. I’m always tired and so is she. I feel like the worst husband and dad in the world. I’m overweight but I have no energy or will to lose the weight. I smoke and feel like I’m going to die early in life. My psychiatrist sucks. what do I do?

  64. I hate my life right now and have, off and on for most of it. Childhood was miserable. Distant father, mother who resented him, domineering sister. I was the “hermit”. Raised myself to get good grades and get ahead on my own, but learned to trust no one. First wife was a disaster. I knew it from the beginning, but I felt so un-loved, i was stupid. took years to get out. Second wife better, but goes through irrational periods I just don’t understand. Nothing I do is right. everything is my fault. I’ve held the same job for 35 years and provide well. I do the chores around the house, manage the money, take care of everyones problems, but there are always more. New boss is demanding, but i don’t understand what she wants. I would like some stabilty, but from where? Kids are out of the house but both in college and new support. So I support them. They are good and make good grades. have a nice home and money in the bank, but who cares. I have no joy. None. as soon as I find some, someone tells me to stop or demands I do something else. I want to take care of my issues and I want other to take care of theirs, but how do I get them to do it? I suppose I spoiled them all for too many years, so it was my fault. But at some point they have to all take responsibility for themselves. I can’t make others happy, but I have trouble finding joy when I’m constantly told I’m wrong and surrounded by joyless people. But I’m the one with the job, the money, and who does all the work. If I’m so wrong, why don’t they take over? I’m 64 and see my life’s purpose as producing money for others so they can live longer. I’ll get to die and they’ll get to go on. I really feel if I died today, few people would notice; many of those who did would be relieved; others would take the insurance and inheritance and move on. I do enjoy my job if my new Boss will let me do it. I’m surrounded by people who have different political/religious beliefs and who are so intolerant. They think nothing of ridiculing me. I don’t think they even notice what they do to cause pain. If it weren’t for my students, I would be so alone. Yet the intolerant poeple are constantly congratulating themselves on how tolerant they are. And wiser. I can’t leave: my family would fall apart without me. this is my own making, but that does not make it easier to deal with.
    so many others have no food or no shelter and I have plenty, but material goods are worthless. I guess I’ll suck it up and plow forward as I always have.

    • Hi Steve, reading your story made me cry. I really hope you get to do things for YOU sometime. YOU need it and DESERVE it

  65. I have a dream of becoming a popstar\Singer but Most of the people around me (Family) always say that I got no talent. I try to push the thought away but sometimes it gets to me. They also say that I am overweight and they know I have lost over 10 kg just after 6 months yet they still say I am fat. I am starting to get depressed. What should I do?

  66. I am 37, married with 3 kids. I work full time. I work nights, come home and take care of a 2 1/2 year old while my husband is at work. My two older kids get home around 4pm. I ask them to help, but they bitch and moan if I ask them to do anything. I am so exhausted all the time. I have to cook dinner, clean, run errands, etc. My husband gets home around 7pm. I may get 4 hours to “sleep” if I’m lucky. My husband makes good money, but I don’t see a dime. He pays some bills, I pay the rest plus groceries and extras for the kids. I also have a ton of student loans. I never have money for myself. I have gained a lot of weight from working nights and no sleep, I am tired all the time. My husband leaves for buisness a lot leaving me for up to 10 days at a time. We have moved several times in our marriage, always for his career. I have no friends, my family is far away. He disrespects me and isalways putting me down. He has physically abused me as well. I am too embarrassed to tell my family, my father just died about a month ago, I’m taking this hard too. I feel all alone, I hate my life…sometimes I just want to pack my car and drive away.

  67. Am 33yrs old, I recently got divorced from a cheating and careless husband. I have been married for 10years with one kid. I stood his side in all his difficult situations and helped him to solve his huge debts but ye and his parents play tricky towards me even am good to them. after rhis ten yeats of my marriage I came to know his real face, he had so many affairs and coz of that he was in money crisis and he comes to me for money by saying someother emotional issues. I certainly believe him and will help him. I even fought with my parents to help him out. my parents thoigh shouted Will help him always because of me. but now I found the reality. He and his parents cleverly used me for just shit money. but I always think that my husband loves me a lot. my parents came to know about this family after three years of my marriage but they could not proove this to me, all their efforts seems to be a big failure. now with God grace I came to know everything through one his childhood friend and am shocked to hear all the scenarios. though am sad my parents were now happy and they want me to go for srcond marriage but I feel so hard, he doesn’t showed true love but mine is true….and am worried about my 9yrs old son who loves his father to the core. I somehow managef to get divorce but how will I take second marriage, all things, places, etc…etc…reminds me him. though am angry I still could not come out of this fully, please help me out……

  68. I am going through the hardest time in my life and I have no one to talk to because all my family and friends think I should stick in there and things will get better. I married a man that is a cheater, disrespectful to me and treat me like I am nothing but every time I try to leave he breakdown with I love you, I don’t want to loose you and my kids. He act like this in front of my friends and family and they think hes a nice guy because he is so protective of his image. He always take his family over me, and this make me feel alone most of the time because my own family think I shouldn’t push him to show more concerns for me. He cheat all the time and every time he’s having these affairs, I becomes the target, he show no emotions for me even on important holidays and birthdays, he will start some type of argument to spoil my day. When he comes around after his fun he act like our kids are so important to him. I reach my breaking point last January when I found out that he was having an affair with his brother wife best friend. This brother and his wife have never like me from the start but they pretend a lot and he sheal them. I felt disrespected and betry more than ever when I found out that his affair with this lady started on the night of his mother wake keeping.He travel every weekend after that to see this lady after the funeral under the pretends that he was going to see his mother grave, been a supportive wife and been that I have lost 2 brothers, I felt perhaps going to see her grave should help him deal with the lost. He took the kids and I there to spend that Christmas with his family and his mistress was present at the party still unspecting to me, I now feel like a fool. I found out after he left my sick daughter and I to spend the 2015 New Year there. I found out about his affair late January and it brook my heart that some one will use the death of his mother to fulfill his pleasure. I fell into deep depression at the time that almost cause me to fail the entire semester since am still in school. I have somuch resentments for him, its been more than a year and my feeling for him have not change. My friends and family think I am making a big mistake for not letting go, but with all of the hurts I have no feelings for him. I decided to get devoice but I feel like am alone, no one to talk to because I am tire of people convincing me. I am not happy, I cannot spent the rest of my life with some body I don’t love. I know I will have to cut tiles with some friends and family for this, but I need to move on and be happy.

  69. Isn’t “mindfulness” just glorified, wilful ignorance though? Is that really what people need?

    Also, “Going to therapy is an action that would benefit everyone.” is a lie. You’re disregarding the simple fact that many therapists are self-indulgent hacks who are less interested in helping you and more interested in making money.

  70. I Hate my life so much I am from saudi Arabia I hate every thing in this kingdom I can’t go anywhere with out a man from my family why ? Because I am a woman !!! I didn’t choose that I can’t drive and I can’t even speak to any men even if that’s important the don’t want me to be a doctor Because I am a woman ! I am only 16 years old and I can’t handle it I hope I was born as a man sorry for my bad English

  71. 42 female married but shouldn’t be , he is mean , constantly saying he wants a divorce. We have no kids , tried invetro and got uterine cancer from doing it and had to have a full hysterectomy . I also lost all my hair ( which has now grown back ) from doing chemo & radiation . Had a very bad 3 years and felt alone the entire time with no one to talk to or help me .
    I am self employed and started hating my business a few years ago and don’t know how to get out . Family is very self absorbed and only thinks of themselves and money . No one to give me advise or help me sell business or advise me in what to do next .
    I am alone all the time even at work around customers I feel so alone and without a support system or family and friends .
    Yes I have been very blessed in my life with money & worldly things but no family or husband to be there for me . I would rather be poor and have good people around me then be where I am now . I tried joining different groups but it never seems to work out. I am not a pity case and to most people who know me I am a very strong independent woman , but to myself I am scared and alone .

  72. Our problems seem to come from other people. Some are too big to easily escape (being a minor in a horrible family, being a female in a repressive country, having massive permanently debilitating health problems.) Others come from being tied to horrible people who are not going to change or will even get worse. A selfish and destructive person isn’t going to change; the only thing that can change is what we feel obligated to keep providing to that person (or persons.) I realized that I have become an anxious whiny wreck. What positive giving person can put out enough happy vibes to counter that? Most of all we’re trapped in economic situations that don’t offer opportunities for independence. I think the larger situation is broken. There are those whose biggest problem is keeping the yacht staffed for cheap. And there are those who can’t afford their chemotherapy or food, or are literally kept as slaves if by another name. And some of you are as helpless and miserable as any slave in history with just as few options and just as malicious slaveowners. Whether you’re a “child” or “female in Saudi Arabia” or “59 and can’t find a job,” geez, no wonder you’re feeling trapped and helpless. At least give yourself a little sympathy. Hate your situation and your lack of power, but, maybe, let’s try to stop hating ourselves because nobody deserves to be miserable. Also, stop feeling obligated to stay oppressed. Young people, trust that you’re going to get old enough that you can really leave abusive situations. The rest of us, maybe it’s time to give our masters their pink slips. Wouldn’t it be better to be homeless and hungry than be tortured?

  73. I’m not sure if you will reply to this. At the moment I feel so alone. I hate my life. I am the eldest child in a Chinese household. All my life I had the responsibility to bring honour to my family and at the age of 25 I am earning a decent salary and I have a long term girlfriend who has become the love of my life. I came from a poor background where I didn’t have much growing up and my girlfriend had everything she needed. Right now the landlord has agreed to sell us the freedold to the house we are currently renting. If I buy the house it means I can’t start a married life with my girlfriend. I have negotiated to help with half the rent to keep my family off the street as an alternative to not signing a mortgage. But this means I cannot save any money for a deposit for a mortgage to move in with my girlfriend and get married. My girlfriend is very unhappy that I can’t deny my parents what they want. She says they can find a job and pay for everything themselves which I know she is completely right but I just can’t do that to my parents. Call me old fashioned but as a son I can’t do that. So now I am losing the love of my life because she doesn’t believe I am capable of giving her and our future children a good life. My parents have never been perfect. They are blacklisted by banks so they can’t get a mortgage themselves, they had gambling problems and they beat me and my little brothers growing up. But they are still my parents and I love them. I also love my girlfriend very much and I want to keep everyone. I told my girlfriend that I will make sure I save enough for our future together and help my parents for a few years with rental payments but she has already decided and envisioned that I will go running to my parents if they ever forced me to do something and put her and our children in the back seat. I’ve reassured her that I won’t buy but she won’t listen. I’m losing the love of my life. Please help me. Please. I’m so sad.

    • Oh, your girlfriend had everything growing up? Without you going into details, it just sounds like she was a rich snob using you then dumping you when things didn’t go her way. I live in Boulder, CO one of the richest little snobvilles ever and I’ve been through plenty manipulations like this in my short life. Forget her, you’re under her spell and she just wants you to suffer. You need to go investigate what your whole situation is about. Don’t just assume the normal, because people that grew up with everything are never “just normal”. You need to go investigate more deeply if there are any family grudges, friendship grudges, a powerplay going on behind-the-scenes, etc. You have money problems, typical prey for people that grew up with everything sorts. Just because someone is better off in life than you are, does not mean that they are on your side. Wise up. Then re-post on this page and tell us what you found out. That’s my “real deal advice” and not sugar-coating it.

  74. I hate my liife too… It’s an arranged marriage. About 12 years of my marriage life is like hell, my husband not even a single time sat with me and asked how Am I Doing?. Very frustrating I have a 6 years old daughter I struggled a lot to bring her up, my parents helped me during my pregnancy. I feel always lonely. I have a child so if I go away from this life I am thinking about the future of my daughter. Nobody is there to ask about me to console for anything that is happening in my life. I go everywhere alone will take my daughter too. My husband will never join with us anywhere, he always likes to be in his office 7 days a week. He wants me to cook and be at home taking care of all the responsibilities at home n my child. Passing everyday without sharing anything to any1 is very difficult.

  75. I hate my life cause i have nobody in my life for love
    Im 23 years old and need someone whom loves me
    Sometimes i feel no one sees me or pay attention to me, it’s been a while that i have this awful feeling
    I hate myself, people , life , …
    Days are Just boring as always nothing special happen no matter how much i try I’m young but feeling old and think the rest of my life will be the same

  76. I’m not sure that I hate my life, but I feel very alone right now. I’m 39 and have never been in a meaningful long term relationship. I have very few actual friends, and those I do have are out of state. I have Facebook “friends” but most of them are family or just acquaintances. I love my family and they love me, and I see my parents at least twice a month, but it’s not the same. Most days I just sit in front of the television until it’s bedtime, sleep, get up, go to work at a job I don’t particularly like (it isn’t terrible, I just don’t find joy in it), go home, and do it all over again. I consider myself to be unattractive, and find it difficult to start conversations with females I’m attracted to. I’m mostly an introvert, so I don’t feel like I could really hold a conversation even if I started one. I turn 40 next year and I just feel like there’s no hope of ever finding love. Even if nobody responds here, I wanted to get it out in the open. Many guys may feel ashamed of having these feelings and I want them to know they’re not alone. I doubt there are many like me, but there must be some.

  77. I hate my life too. Molested as a child. Im the middle child and the black sheep. Never felt loved by my parents and always being blamed or punished for things i didnt do. My brother n sister are the golden children and do no wrong. My family doesnt care about me. My son hasnt spoken to me in almost 2yrs. My mother is gone and last yr i went to jail and it ruined my life. Now i live in a tiny racist town with no opportunity or public transportation. No job, no help no driver license and i live 10 miles from town that doesnt even have a walmart in it. I left ny 6yrs ago after being abused mentally physically and emotionally and moved to florida with a “friend” who was no friend. Now here i sit no job cant find a job have a degree but they say im over qualified for the job. Heart broken and used mistreated and abused. Hurt beyond words by a blinding pain. I cant see where to go from here. Only God cares.

  78. I’m in my late 40’s; I’ve suffered from anxiey and depression almost all of my life. One of my parents (deceased now) was emotionally and verbally abusive making me feel sad and worthless. My other parent who I take of now (he elderly and not in good health) was mostly passive-aggressive while I was being emotionally abused. As a result I have been emotionally shut off because of my anxiety I didn’t really make any friends. My one sibling is a flake who only thinks about themselves. I hate living and taking care of my remaining parent, I have a job I tolerate but I never really had anyone to talk to about any of my problems. I am finally talking to a therapist and take medicine for my anxiety but I am still very unhappy. I don’t know how to fix my life.

  79. My wife has left me twice and both times I took her back. The second time she left she accused me of physically abusing our daughter. She called the police, there was an investigation and of course no charges because I did nothing wrong. She decided to take matters in her own hands, and filed for a restraining order against me! The judge of course denied it, because again, I did nothing wrong! But then she decided to keep me from seeing my daughter on her own. For weeks I did not see her. Did I mention she withdraw all our savings and left me with NOTHING. she didn’t pay bills for months prior to leaving so I had to play catch up. Then literally 1 week after she left she asked me for money and demanded I needed to pay her car payment and bills! A couple months later, we got back together (I’m an idiot, I know). What happens? Eight months later she leaves me again. We were not compatible she said, I was her biggest mistake she said. And now she is telling everyone that I’m abusive and making me out to be this horrible guy. The funny thing is, SHE is the one who was being emotionally and verbally abusive in our relationship. She is ruining my life.

  80. I hate my life. I’m 28 and moved back in with my parents after losing my job and I feel so defeated. I’m lucky to have parents that love me enough to take back there adult daughter but makes me feel like a complete loser. I’m single with few friends and I can’t seem to find happiness let alone a job. My full time job basically right now is finding a job. I am so stressed out that even with the jobs i do get interviews for, I become a nervous wreck because I want it so bad and I end up looking like a fool and never get a call back. I am sabotaging my own life with my insecurities and stress. I don’t know what to do anymore. I haven’t finished my bachelors do to lack of money and motivations. I feel like sometimes what is the point it seems like now a days a degree does not get you no where but just in even more debt. I’m glad I’m not alone, we are all looking for some guidance.

  81. I really really really hate my life and I’m only 16 years old, I’m going through a struggle that a normal teenager wouldn’t have, last year I completely broke down because of it I quit school and everything. So here is my main problem that I have never said to anyone, because I dont want to be judged and be alone(but I am alone now so I dont care anymore) , I have a fucking strong body odor, okay first I take a bath everyday and I take care of myself but then one day people stopped talking and socializing with me only to find out they’re disgusted in me,I dont even know how I got this nasty smell on my body. I tried all the solutions I can but none of it work, so from there I lost all my confidence ,I cant even go out in my house, yeah I am so weak and I cant help it I grew up being the weakling ,I dont know how to be strong and its really awful. I think I need some help 🙁 I cant continue my life like this 🙁

    • I usually don’t write a reply but I will in this case bcos I’ve intimately experienced this situation. First, with odor and all, love urself. Secondly, routinely shave ur armpits and private areas bcos that’s where much of the odor comes from. Then try take thorough bath twice daily with antibacterial soap and ensure you wash the back of your ears, neck private areas thoroughly. Dry with a clean towel and use some lavender powder. Don’t forget to brush your teeth and use mouthwash before going to bed at night. Use some mild deodorant and perfume during the day. Pray and let God be your best friend. After you’ve done your best, trust and believe in who God created you to be. You don’t owe your friends any explanation. Look up and move on with your life. Bless you.

  82. i am obssesed with not going to school.. every moring i wake up and i feel like doing nothing else but staying at home.. what should i do? am i depressed ?? :/

  83. wow .. I just wanted to give encouragement to all who had courage to share of your sitution. It’s always easier said than done, especially when emotional abuse and degrading to one self is involved. I amend you all for taking a stand for yourself. Keep your faith, and continue to move forward.. if it still feels like something is wrong than change your path.

    My sincere comment from someone who is taking a stand for herself,
    Jessica

  84. Hi everyone

    I am so tired of feeling tired and depressed all the time! It started when I was 15yrs old and I am now 37! I had a rough start in life and wound up dating every bully out there. I take medication and I have spoken to Drs and therapists and read loads of self help books but I seem to travel round the same vile circle year in, year out!! I am now drinking to ridiculous amounts I have angry outbursts and I can’t cope in work! I used to love exercise and now all I want to do is lie in bed all day! My relationship is turning toxic and I just feel like no matter what i do this cycle will never change 🙁 I am writing this today because I don’t know how else to get all this stuff out of my head!

  85. i hate my life at the moment because its just repetitive. i have few friends, i am gay but in the closet and i sit next to crush twice a day and i cant do anything about it because i dont want to ruin what we have now. also i am overweight and live in the country. i feel like my day is the same everyday and im wasting my life, im too afraid to meet new people and too scared to come out. everyday i go be awkward around my crush, have the same conversations with my ‘friends’, eat dinner with my parents, do chores, go on the computer. i want to move schools 🙁

  86. I hate my life, because I cannot get over the abuse i suffered as a child, through my male cousins. The domestic violence i went through with previous partners, and coping on my own with rape.

  87. When you are suffering, your care or concern for others is zero. Why do people think there is relief in knowing that others are suffering in unison. I hate my life and that’s a singular experience.

  88. my life sucks

  89. I feel like that i hate my life without my control like I’m programmed to hate it in this situation . And i feel that it i had another option i would take it

  90. I hate my life too. I have endrimetriosis and I’m constantly in pain. That part I’m actually okay with since at this point I have a really high pain tolerance physically. But I also can’t have a baby or a family. This year the last one of my husband’s grandparents died….1 each year now. There’s something death that makes it easier to understand when there’s new life around you. At this point I feel like there is only death around me. I’m only 31 and should not feel this way. But on top of being depressed every month because I can’t have a baby (for over 4 years and counting) I have to be concerned that I need another surgery for my disease. This is certainly not the life I picked for myself..but life picked it for me. We can’t afford ivf or adoption so I’m stuck with the life I was given. I hate getting the “when are you having kids” comment or worse when I was asked if I was pregnant though I’m 120 pounds. Yea good times..life is so unfair. I use to actually be happy and I wish I could find that person again but know I probably never will with the life I was given. I honestly would have rather been raped, murdered, etc as long as it was quick. This is just a long, silent, soul killer that I’m going through. The only positive thing is that I fear nothing even death now because my worse fear already came true. My others will when I lose the last of my loved ones.

  91. I live an uneventful life. Im not rich but im also not at rock bottom. I have a job, not a career, that makes just enough to live on from paycheck to paycheck. Im in a loving relationship going on eight years now. We’ve had our ups and downs like all couples do. At 29, i have not really experienced many life struggles that would warrant much pity, cause there are plenty out there who have it way worse; not that i believe my problems are any less real. Even though i know my situation could be worse, i cant seem to except any of the happiness in my life. I go through random emotional drops that have no explanation no rational cuase that i can guess. I don’t understand them so i can’t seem to communicate them to the people around me. It feels like it is getting worse every year. I try self help, i’ve tried talking about, but it feels like im just going in circles. The more i do, the more tired i feel about it. Im not suicidal, though the thoughts run through my mind on repeat at times. Im not in physical or emotional pain, so i dont understand “why?”. I don’t really want to die. I just sometimes don’t want to exist. And if this makes any sense to you, please let me know cause i don’t get it.

  92. I hate my life. I have a job that I love, but it does not pay the bills. I live in a place I love but don’t know if I can make a life here. I have a wife I love but she is unable to find a job in the place that I love. I feel like I can never get ahead. its frustrating to no end. I feel that when ever I start to get ahead, something goes wrong. I don’t know what to do. overall life is ok. I just feel like there is nothing left. I feel like I am at the end of everything. The small moments of happiness I get are always taken away from me by some outside force. Its like a fucked up joke. I will probably have to get a job somewhere else just to get by which will destroy my childhood dream of living here because, as it stand, I am too poor to afford any kind of life here, yet I have enough that the government and other organizations are unable to help me. as an example. We cant afford to get my wife health insurance, yet we make enough that the supplemental health card bullshit that Obama created will not help us. We have spent at least 48 hours of time calling and trying to find a way to get her some kind of insurance just so that she can go to the doctor. Another example is this. I am having major issues with my own help, I have been noticing blood and other symptoms that my doctor believes is cancer. I went to the hospital and BCBS would not even cover the diagnosis. I could barely afford to pay for the consultation. I know many of my issues are due to money constraints, I recognize that. I know I need to get another job some place else, but in all honesty, leaving where I live will destroy me, and make everything I have worked for nothing. I am just tired, I have failed, myself, my wife, and my family, I am just tired.

  93. Hi end of the line, I understand that life is hard. Please do not feel like you have failed yourself or your family because they know your heart and understand that you’re TRYING to make a change. I suggest you perhaps get another job that you love somewhere else to enable you to do the things that you want – feed, pay bills and healthcare. I know your location right now may be a dream place for you to live. However, living there has not giving you the satisfaction that you dreamt of because you are in this situation right now. I would suggest a temporal move somewhere with more opportunities; you never know how things might turn out. Sometimes, it’s the people/our community that make a place and not the other way round. You might meet make new friends; meet new families who can support you and your wife and start new projects. You never know. I know you said leaving your current location will destroy you but I think it will not. Live is a journey I don’t believe you should be stuck in a rut. Look at it from a positive perspective, that living here has been good for me and my family and what I have built, nonetheless it’s time for a new adventure and exciting journey. However, you decide to stay, I am sure you can find other creative ways to meet your goals and take care of yourself/family. I pray God will give you wisdom and that you receive a miracle this Christmas season. Praying for your wife too! please cheer up!

  94. I hate my life and no matter what I do to try to change myself or any aspect of my life, it fails. It didn’t help that I have been very unattractive and was born with features better suited for a man. Pretty sad and pathetic. I am a few years shy of age fifty now, so life is really pretty much over for me considering that I have failed to meet someone to date, want a relationship or marriage with me, let alone start a family with. I always wanted children and a family in life. Without it, well, no meaning to life or point to it. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had a couple males interested, but they liked drugs and didn’t like working and I have goals, aspirations, and like a more normal and less drama filled life. Plus, I want/wanted children and part of providing a good safe home involves having a good job, insurance, not being a drug user, in jail, etc. 🙂 Pursuing hobbies and being broke didn’t do much for me, jumping into volunteering and helping others didn’t do anything, just nothing about my life I like or that even really matters to me. No matter what approach I take, what I try, what counseling or other help approach I’ve taken, nothing makes a difference or changes anything. I was able to obtain a degree later in life, but it was too late for me to be considered for any management programs or anything. The last 2 years of my program were completed online with a so-called christian school that doesn’t have a good academic reputation so employers don’t take my degree seriously. I barely eek by financially, owe a ton in student loans, rent a yucky apartment, and can’t work a second job to save for a vacation, down payment or anything because of my primary employer’s requirements. Not a lot of jobs where I live so resigning without another offer is not a good plan. So yeah, nothing in life for me. I’ve tried enjoying the journey, the moment, thinking positive, turning lemon into a sweet treat, just nothing works or helps. The dream is dead and gone, the efforts at meeting people, improving career, finding hobby groups, just nothing pans out. Even volunteering and focusing on helping others, I just meet crazy whackos who end up using, hurting or stealing from me. I hate my life, but I never asked for this life. I tried to make it an adventure, but it wasn’t fun or interesting, just painful and miserable. I tried to detach and it was like watching a very sad movie and train wreck rolled into one. I think I make friends fairly easily, though I rarely have the opportunity to do so and the friends I do have are very fair weather at best.
    What I find frustrating is how people like to say that things change and situations are temporary. It’s been ten years…I am still waiting for the temporary part and the changes. S

  95. Reading this gave me a little bit of hope. What you’ve listed in this article makes sense. Obviously people are in agreement based on the number of responses you’ve received. I appreciate the solid advice without having to buy your book first. This makes me think you care and know worthwhile information. I agree you can be helped through therapy but I also feel it’s really important to interview your therapist before buying in. Be leery of the doctor who wants to diagnose you after one meeting.

    I just read what I wrote. I’m not being paid to say these things….haha.

  96. im only 13 and both my parents hate me. i feel like running away but i dont know where to go in this modern world. i dont know what to do 🙁

    • I think that most of us felt that way when we were 13, you have a lot of emotions going on now for the simple fact of being 13. Just get to 18 or so and see if you still feel the same, take it one day at a time

  97. I think to this to myself a lot. I’m 53 years old and I’m a trial lawyer. I hate the law and I always have, but I’ve made a decent living at it for a long time and people always compliment me, or think they are, by telling me how good I am at it. My kids are great and I’ve been married over 20 years, but going to this job every day is so bad that I can hardly describe it. And its all my own fault. I’ve always preferred to be outdoors rather than indoors and while nobody knows it and would be shocked to learn it, I am so painfully shy that dealing with people all day every day is simply torture for me. And while it makes me a bad person to say it, I’m not that empathetic to where the flood of people shifting their life burdens to me is something I like taking on.

    I’d quit but to even mention it or retirement sends my wife into a panic and she won’t even talk about it, although she claims she does all the time. Having one of those “good jobs” there’s not much sympathy I know for somebody in my situation who feels this way. I came here on “I hate my life” search and even though I feel really guilty for thinking it, I do hate much of my daily existence.

    • Ty! it’s nice to have perspective from the”other side”of life. it’s so sad… all of us on this planet and we struggle at every level.

  98. I hate my life , i wake up every day hating it , i am short , balding, ugly, every day sucks i wake up no friends , no girls like me, people treat me like shit its a living hell, i am the point i dont even try anymore , have very little interested i dont try , dont go out ,nothing, i dont even know why i am posting this other then i am pretty much alone. Had fake friends , Girls that pretend to like me but dont cant stand it

  99. What if I have the kind of parent who blames me for everything that happened to her?
    I spent almost 30 years of life getting blamed for things that I didn’t do and didn’t meant to do.

    What should I do?

  100. Life is not a bed of roses but of thrones.In reality mostly thrones are there.I am too disgusted about my life
    I also dont have a girl friend . But what can I do? I cannot force anyone to fall in love with me? The better solution is to accept our shortcomings and move ahead in life. Time will heal every thing.

  101. My problems are that I am close to the age of 30 and only had one job in my entire life that was not an internship; and that job was years ago plus I only had it for a few of months before getting terminated for being slow, which might be one of the reasons why I just can’t seem to get another one at all but that’s just one of my woes. My parents are divorced and have been so for year since I was a kid;and for quite a long I was living with my father in his house while my mother would stop by sometimes to take me out on fun shopping trips, but all that came to an end when my dad’s 3 rich sisters didn’t like the neighborhood that their brother was living in because it was an iffy place with shady pedestrians. So my aunts basically cleaned out the whole house and forced my dad to live their elderly mother while I was forced to live with my mom and her boyfriend and my beloved cats “Jinx” and “Pumpkin” had to be given away; my mom is unfortunately allergic to cats plus she has pet bird and my dad’s mom didn’t want any animals in her home at all, some of our stuff got thrown away during the move but I managed to bring what I could of mine to my mom’s house while a lot of the other belongings went to my grandmother’s house with my dad. But there’s still a lot of possessions of mine that I have not seen since last year of 2016 in July when this all occurred because my aunts did God knows what with; and I really want everything of mine that they took from me returned as soon as possible, I still however managed to see my dad on weekends when my mom would drive me over to my grandmother’s house where he was living and drop me off so I could spend some hours with my dad until my mom returned to pick me up again which was nice while it lasted. But now things have just gotten worse for me ever since my grandmother died in October of 2016; and my dad who had been living with her was once again moved to another place to live a few month after the death, only this time he was taken out of state to live in Sarasota Florida while I’m still her in Rochester New York and have not seen him in months and I don’t know when he’ll be brought back or if he will ever at all. So what I want is my father returned to me and all of my stuff back as well; plus job of course so I can finally start making money and buy property of my very own, like a car so that I can go places by myself and house or at least an apartment so I can live somewhere alone and at least have freedom and solitude. I can’t help but feel that my 3 aunts have wronged me and my dad for uprooting us from our old house; then separating me from my dad for so long and for taking away a lot of our things that I still have yet to get back again, and because of that I fucking hate their stinking guts and wish that I could tell them how much they have basically helped out in ruining my life with all of their actions! > : (

    Anyways so that’s my strife with life; thanks for reading about it, assuming that you did at all of course. : /

  102. Hey my problem is much less complicated than others. ya I too hate my life. I am short, balding. No one likes to make friends with me. I am all alone in this world. My parents think that my siblings are better than me. I proposed a girl but she insulted me badly. She tells me a half ladies. I am a loser in career too. I am an MBA but earn very less.Actually I am a easy target. I am medically unfit too.I have ashama .I can’t swim. If i ever meet God I would ask him why me? Any way what should I do?

  103. I hate my life because I found out that a boy that has kissed me and hugged me for the past 3 weeks has still had fillings and still loved his first his first x wth I pored my hart and sol out I gave him my hart and sol I I kissed him I hugged him. I trusted him I felt safe with him but know I fill empty be trade alone like I’m the only person in the dark world my life I hate.

  104. I fill mad I fill betrayed I fill anger I fill all alone

  105. I have a journal on the bye I like I have a meddle hart with his name on it it goes every where with me well did I’m getting red of all of it

  106. Throw it away or burn both of them

  107. It kills me to say this but we are no longer friends I don’t know what to do its killing meeeeeee

  108. This is what’s going on I’m sorry to him but whet ever

  109. Mindfulness is a crock.

  110. Isn’t it ironic that with all the religions out there so many of us are miserable? There aren’t any easy answers. Each of us has to find our own way. None of us chose to be here. We were either brought here by carelessness or a lack of a thought process. My parents just screwed around and brought 7 kids into this world without a thought on how we might handle it. Pretty amazing really. I did not attend my fathers funeral and I won’t attend my mothers. 2 people that had absolutely no business having kids. Hell, even marrying for that matter. 20 more years to go, maybe, and I’m out of here. If my liver and lungs don’t give out first. Counting the days!

  111. I hate my life. I feel so disconnected and alone. I have been working on getting insurance just to see a therapist to work past my troubling history. I just want help.

  112. As a single Deaf disABLEd person with dyslexia, ADD & dyscalculia – as the article states, growing up in a dysfunctional family – it’s been a very difficult life. I left home after Gallaudet University kicked me out not realizing that I had LD (I should have sued them but my family didn’t advocate for me back then)… I left home after a year struggling in the hearing world where no one signs. Not being accepted in the Deaf Elite community or in the hearing community – I’m on my own island. Then in my late 20’s I was diagnosed with intense fibromyalgia & could not upkeep some physically demanding slave-wage jobs… applied to hundreds of jobs but they rejected me due to my deafness. So many jobs requires TALKING TALKING TALKING – must use phone, must be able to talk to customers, etc. I then had to go on disability which I resented. Sadly, in my 30’s Hashimoto’s Thyroid disease crept up – like I need another BS illness to give me more problems, even more poorer as insurance refuses to pay for natural meds & forever chained to a compounding prescription drug pharmacy. With all these insane barriers, I’m surprised I’m not in the psych ward yet. I tried ASL tutoring, but earning is unstable with fierce competition from others. I did ASL evaluations for a relay company for 7 great years and now they’re going to lay me off this month. I’m very sad and depressed that they refused to accommodate me – but even able bodied Deaf elite folks do not understand what disabled Deaf folks have to go through. I tried applying to other relay companies to no avail. Many jobs requires moving out of state and I’m exhausted moving, moving, moving — drains my income, my energy & it’s difficult to make new friends. I’ve been houseless so many times, I lost count. Section 8 is a JOKE and more and more unethical landlords are turning S8 away — so there are 10 years waiting list for S8 folks and those who have a certificate only have 60 days to find a new home, noton time? You lose the certificate. It’s hell, truly hellish. I noticed that many nuclear modern American families are against having single platonic friends. Lots of insecure married couples worry needlessly. So, I share the same sentiment with what many others express of their concerns with poverty, working-poor & not getting a raise (been there! 7 years and no raise). And what pisses me off lately is that a lot of companies expect people to work part-time doing a 30 hours per week. You got to be kidding me! That’s NOT part time… what is full time hours? 40. Divide 40 = 20 hours. Hello, someone do the math right. So the companies get away with murder in not providing benefits but make us work for a pitiful $8/hr wage. No way. Don’t get me started with the new “president” and with all the cuts that is taking place and jobs taken away. It’s truly worrisome.

  113. My own inner voice has caused trouble to me. Instead of having complete faith in my actions, I encouraged self-doubt which eventually destroyed my peace of life and career. I realized after losing everything, including my own self, tht this life is only and only for me. I sld live it the way I feel is correct for me. I sld learn the art of natural attachment and detachment. Blind believe in urself can never brng any kind of doubting elements inside u and will make one completely strng frm within. Accepting life as it is without colouring much, accepting ur innnerself ..will take ur life a peaceful journey. PLss stop immitiating others and expecting unnecessary things. Just be true to urself and stay calm and frgt abt past which has no importance in present and frgt abt future which we cant predict all abt,,,,,,,jut live ur life as naturally and simply as possible.

  114. I hate my life every time I go to make it better after two or three minutes later it gets worse and I always say to myself or yell I hate my life it is mostly ok at school but then when I get home my life sucks my siblings are mean to me my mom does not even care or do anything about it and I have to share a room with my sister I do not have any real friends and I really hate my life. And I AM NOT KIDDING I HATE MY LIFE

  115. Ril'riia Kil'urden

    This is laughable because it doesn’t address that there may be a real and serious problem in your life that is making you utterly miserable. Let’s face it, the world and life are not built to be shiny and happy, and the idea that one should be happy every moment of every day is unrealistic.

    HOWEVER, I am currently miserable, and I know it is the situation I am that is causing it. There’s no “self destructive inner voice” except the one telling me that my situation is absolute bs. (Which it is. And no, I will not go into it because I am not airing my dirty laundry online for millions of strangers to read.)

    I hate to break it to the author of this article, but this is nonsense. What people should be doing (unless they’re drama kings/queens who thrive on misery) is reevaluate their life, their actions, and start finding where and how to make changes. Drastic and uncomfortable ones if that’s what it takes.

    The world was not set up for eternal happiness, but I’ll be damned if I suffer through life miserable while paying someone to listen to my problems. If insanity is doing the same thing over ad nauseam and expecting different results, then this article recommends insanity.

    • Ril'riia Kil'urden

      *situation I am in. Beg pardon, my laptop is badly balanced on my lap and the keystrokes did not regsiter.

  116. Man I’m a 52Gwm that has just been indicated with Depression since I was four, I keep saying this is the year Im going to be depression free but every year comes by and sets me back three years,

    For instance. My two schnauzers were D typing, I travel for work and patarents keep the, just spoiled them rotten until my brothers baby came around and rpthe you just got left alone, oh wait it gets erase, my brother was 45 at the time and the girl he had Nino with was 16′ lived in Georgis but it’s legal. From that day they have sponged off my parents trust and my parents took care of them both, The gratitude they guy was 0.. Except a granddaughter . That was even worse and u tried to warn them , my brother suffers from STBI , coma for two moths and made it they thanks to my medical skills withe the doctors, after he got out the girl accused him off secyally molesting his child and was locked up for a year/half until my parents got his bond, a lot of good that does , he a registered sex offender, and my parents 72/78 are as well since he lives with them. I wonder if it would of been better if my brother passed, all that stressed o my parents.

    I’m gay and to this day my parents say they accept me but it’s just a word. I have been spiraling into the dark vortex of depression more so this year than any other, like if I just go to sleep the good Lord will take me. I am not sure what my purpose in life is, I lost my pschologistbofv3 years she’s knows all my history, I feel trapped in my house mbut trave girl work, when I am at work I’m much better , npbut as soon as I turn the corner to come home I start gettin acidity attcjs.

    I have been gone from my patents house since 16half, I guess they didn’t approve of my lifestyle ,but I’m not the one that has to be kept bailing out of jail,

    I lost my BF Tiffany DeShay 2015′ I tried to save her but she had to many things going not in her favors I just lost it,, I really don’t have many friends since everyone can relate you just Ho to your room and mourn fir days, I had an operation of my gallbladder last year, and was hoping I wouldn’t wake up, I get up and say is this day my Day, but time keeps ticking and I’m still here,, for my friends that have never experie ed depression,they have no rightbtonsay I understanm becausevtgey dont, i know im missin outbon lifek but hinestky I dnt carecwhats really oyt there, esp thiscera. sorry if too ling but just needed to reach outbtona groupnthat has bren in my place and knows what the real struggle isv??????

  117. I hate my life and I feel as though I am on other people’s path. Everyone wants and says I should be sober. I been sober for 1 1/2 years now and my life has never been more mundane, mindnumbing, and pointless. I had motivation before, I had a good job, almost my 2nd degree, a house, everything. Once I got sober I lost everything. Now I live on someone’s couch with no job, no house, and a degree I can’t stand to finish. I literally wake up to exist. I use my tax return to pay my bills but it’s running out. And frankly I wouldn’t mind sitting on side of road in the same clothes…. living out of a bag. I did it before it was amazing but I was high then. EVerything had purpose. But on nothing matters there is no point to life. Everyone tells me to go to doctor and get on pills aka “drugs”. Suddenly I see ok through a doctor…. right….

  118. Well i sure hate being a single man which for me the holidays really suck too.

  119. I would not say that I HATE my life; but it could seriously use some major improvements, which I can not do by myself and really need some help.

    My life just basically got worse and worse as time went by; like how may parents got divorce when I was only 9 years, which makes me enviousness of people whose parents are still happily married. Fast forward years into the future and I was originally living with my father in the house that I grew up probably from my late teens to early adult; while my mother lived not to far away in another house and would sometimes drop by for a visit or take me out some where, since I have yet to get a car or driving lessons because of money problems. Things weren’t so for me bad because my dad is what you would call the “fun parent” so living with him was quite enjoyable; don’t get me wrong I love both my parents equally and try not to biased, but one is entertaining and laid back while that other is nagging and overprotective that being my mother. Unfortunately because the house that my dad lived in was in a shady neighborhood he had to go live with is elderly mother and help her out a swell; sadly I could not longer live with him so had to move in with my mom in her house,which I did live in for years before I lived with my dad. It was my dad’s 3 rich sisters who decided that they didn’t want their only brother living in that neighborhood anymore; so they came in to the old house and threw some of my dad’s and my belongings away while some of it went to their elderly mother’s house, they even gave away my 2 precious cats because my mom is allergic and my grandmother didn’t want any pets in her house. I’m not entirely certain what happened with the rest of my stuff;like for example my expensive digital CAMERA that was birthday present from my mom, but let’s just say I have quite a list of property that has been taken away from me out of the old house and still returned at all. Which is why I have a grudge towards my 3 aunts because they basically uprooted my dad and me plus pulled the rug out from underneath us; I have even asked them countless times for all my stuff to be returned to me but I think that they are unsure just where they took it all and what they did with it, I just really hope to God that they did not give away any of my things but I can’t help but be suspicious since I still have not gotten what was taken. My grandma died recently of old age like some time last year; and since my dad can’t live by himself because of a slight mental problem, he was put in a “Assisted Living” place in another town by my aunts but I still get to visit him once in a while. I don’t know what has happened or what is going to happen to their dead mother’s house; which has allot of my and my dad’s stuff in it along with everything that my grandma had owned, but I sure hope that whatever is mine and my dad’s will come back to us one. Also like so many other people nowadays I’m unemployed and have been so for about 8 years amazingly; I’ve had only one job in my whole life that wasn’t intern related by the support of a college, and that only lasted for 7 months before I was terminated for not being fast and perfect at the same time. I have tried really hard to get hired again by filling out a lot of applications to stores near by where I live now; since I have no car to get very far and cannot afford public transportation, it’s even been so long since I have been called in for an interview by somebody who thinks I’m worth the time. I think that my big unemployment gap might be the cause of my job problem; but if some would have just hired me a long time ago I would not be in this mess like I right now. Another dilemma that has been plaguing me for quite awhile is the fact that when my mom and her boyfriend both retire some day; they plan on moving out of New York and living in Tennessee where they already have some land down there ready and for them, no offense to them and nothing against that state at all but I DO NOT want to move that far away and live down there because I would only know 2 people. But If I don’t find some place to live either with another person or alone by the time they retire to move; then I will have no choice but to pack and go with them, which is a very scary though for me because I am basically in race for my independence. All I want is to get a decent job so I can make money with it; then get enough to afford nice things like a car and house or apartment, so I can FINALLY have an adult life all on my own instead of always having to live with a parent like teen!!

    Anyways thanks reading about my life assuming that you did of course.

  120. The article may not be all BS, but most of it is.

  121. Leave the strength you have left use that to do better

  122. I have read your article on “I hate my life” and you have got it wrong. MONEY IS EVERYTHING! 98% of the population will have a better life if they had the money to do it with.

    You ask, “Who’s life are you living”? brilliant question! I’m not living my life, that’s for sure! i could be living the life God wants me to live even though i don’t understand why. i could be living the life the devil wants me to live. the devil is out there and will do anything to wreck our lives. The lives we live could work in a way we have yet to understand?

    You also tell me what i already know and state the obvious. Don’t understand why you do that!. You reckon we can get through the toughest of times. Why do you tell us that? If i didn’t have my problem to start with i wouldn’t have to get through the toughest of times. i am going through tough times now and it’s not going to get any easier. It’s a lot more helpful and constructive if you show people.

    Take care

    Chris

  123. Well many of us good innocent men really hate our life as well since we just can’t meet a good woman to share our life with, instead of being single and alone all the time.

  124. At least you aren’t totally alone.

  125. I’m called a boy because of my short hair, in witch case I HATE MY LIFE! I’m told I can’t stand up for myself and I’ve been suspended 10 times already and the year is only 3 months in. I feel weak but I’m strong, I feel stupid but I’m smart, I feel like a looser but I’m a winner, I feel like a loner but I have friends, I feel like a bully but I’m nice. I’m dragged down every day but I get up. I won’t just survive but I will thrive. Don’t be the victim be the hero.

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