Love

Why Is It So Hard to Leave a Narcissist?

Narcissistic Traits There are a considerable number of problems that come with dating a narcissist. Nevertheless, many people are drawn to narcissistic relationships. Studies have found narcissists to be more desirable and attractive to people as potential dates. Yet, entering a relationship with a narcissist can ultimately leave a person feeling like they’ve lost themselves… Read more »

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Is There a Place for Constructive Anger in Your Relationship?

Anger is one of the most misunderstood and undeveloped emotions we carry within us. Most of the couples I see in my private practice struggle with the expression of anger in one form or another. Either they swallow their anger, or they are harshly blaming but incapable of constructively expressing their angry feelings toward their… Read more »

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Advice From a Mother of the Bride

My daughter was married last month, which, in sitting down to write this blog, made me think: what advice could I offer her (and her partner) about committing to a longterm relationship and being married? What have I learned from the 40-plus years that I’ve been married? What have I learned from studying psychology and… Read more »

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Genuine Relating in an Imperfect World

Real-World Romance for Real-Life Partners Last month, I finished revising and updating The Fantasy Bond with my husband, Robert Firestone. While working on this book, now called Challenging the Fantasy Bond, I became aware of what a delicate balance it is to keep a relationship real. In a romantic relationship, people have a tendency to… Read more »

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Why We Should Stop Treating Love Like a “Pie”

I recently read a famous short story by Amy Bloom about an adult woman at her mother’s funeral. The woman is reflecting upon her mother’s life, specifically her relationship with two men who loved her at the same time. The woman remembers confronting her mother about her feelings for the man who was not her… Read more »

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Are You Swiping Right on Your Attachment Style?

How your attachment style may be sabotaging your finding love. Over the years, I have witnessed many people turning to dating sites to find a romantic partner. I have witnessed some of them finding love and companionship and others experiencing disappointment, frustration and rejection. And with these observations, I have become aware of how much… Read more »

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Has Your Relationship Become Off Balance?

Understanding the fantasy bond to get your relationship back on track. Many of us are in the process of recovering from the last year of living under the threat of Covid-19; we are vaccinated, pulling off our masks, and moving in to hug the people we have missed. We are venturing out into the world,… Read more »

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Being Vulnerable to Love

3 suggestions to help you be vulnerable. Being vulnerable is a popular topic of conversation these days. In fact, at this time, Brene Brown’s TED talk “The Power of Vulnerability” has had more than 53 million views. In spite of all the talk and of how much we may want to be vulnerable, especially in… Read more »

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Do You Provoke Your Partner?

5 habits you may not realize are creating conflict in your relationship. I often tell couples I work with to avoid playing the blame game. It tends to be pretty easy for many of us to list off the things our partner is doing wrong or to describe how they provoke us. However, few of… Read more »

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Staying in Love While Staying Yourself

A lot of couples talk to me about their struggles to stay close to each other in a way that feels vital and intimate. At the same time, they may also complain about a feeling of sacrifice or a way they’re having to compromise and give up certain aspects of themselves to be in the… Read more »

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