Communication Between Couples

Why You Pick Fights with Your Partner… and How to Stop

 “I love you, so why do we fight so much?” This quandary is one that most couples face, leading them to question everything from their reality to their relationship to the rationality of love itself. After all, isn’t a certain amount of arguing normal? One recent survey found that couples argue an average of about… Read more »

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The Key to Healthy Communication

The other night at dinner, a man asked, “What do you suggest my girlfriend and I do to maintain good communication in our relationship?” What came to mind was all of the bad communication that I have observed between couples trying to have conversations with each other. And what struck me about all of these… Read more »

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Human Rights Violations in Personal Relationships

When protection of the state or political system takes precedence over the individual, the needs of most citizens are not served; instead they generally suffer economically, politically, and personally. Similarly, when the couple or family system takes precedence over its members, issues of human rights become a low priority. Both conditions set the stage for… Read more »

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How to Stop Fighting and Feel Close Again

Why is it that we fight the most with those we love the most? Is it just because we’re two people with two completely separate minds spending so much time together that we’re bound to not see eye to eye once in a while? Or, is it something more profound, something deeper? Unfortunately, it’s usually… Read more »

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Top 10 Effective Communication Techniques for Couples

Good communication skills are the keys to any successful relationship because relationships are emotional and rely on interpersonal verbal and nonverbal exchanges between the two people involved.  Most marriages start out with the idea of success not realizing the number one cause of divorce is bad communication.  In cases of parenting and co-parenting, communication is… Read more »

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Are You Creating Your Own Nightmare in Your Relationship?

A few years ago, I was talking to my friend and colleague Dr. Daniel Siegel, a leader in the field of interpersonal neurobiology. We were discussing how and why people find themselves stuck in certain relationship patterns. Dr. Siegel explained that our brains are actually wired to recreate conditions from our past. Our early experiences… Read more »

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How Your Critical Inner Voice Gets in the Way of Love

There’s a nasty defense mechanism that undermines and sabotages your efforts to have love in your life: your critical inner voice. It comes at you from all sides; it goes after you, it badmouths your partner, it slams your relationship, and it attacks love in general. We are mostly unaware of this internal enemy and… Read more »

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What Is Your Role in Your Relationship?

Conflict between a couple can often feel convoluted and layered in ways that are hard to make sense of. But, there is one dynamic that may be a bit easier to wrap our heads around. Very often, couples get into trouble when one person takes the role of a parent, and the other, the role of… Read more »

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Take Control of Who You Are in Your Relationship

I often speak to people who are in distress over the way their romantic partner treats them. They believe that they want to be close, but that their partner is preventing it by being “condescending”, “critical,” “irresponsible,” “distant,” or “rejecting.” This makes them feel terrible or forces them to take control, demand attention, or stand up for themselves. They… Read more »

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Are You the Pursuer or the Distancer in Your Relationship?

Do you ever find yourself longing for your partner, wishing you could feel more connected, even when you’re both in the same place? Or, have you ever caught yourself fantasizing about taking a break from your relationship, wishing you could just slip away for a while? In most relationships, one partner has more desire for closeness,… Read more »

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