Relationships

Why Can’t You Move on From Your Relationship?

Relationships often end after a pile-up of issues become too messy to unravel. We can’t always make sense of the dynamics that brought us to a tipping point, but we recognize on some level that the bad has outweighed the good. When a relationship starts to hurt our mental health on a consistent basis, there… Read more »

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How to Handle Feeling Wronged By Your Partner

One of the deepest sources of conflict in a relationship occurs when there’s a breach of trust. When we feel hurt or deceived by a partner, many of us experience a sense of betrayal. Feeling blindsided by someone with whom we’d felt secure can trigger a wide range of emotions. In this stirred up state,… Read more »

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Challenging the Fantasy Bond

In this blog, I am excited to share the introduction and conclusion from my new book, Challenging the Fantasy Bond.  I hope you find it interesting and enjoy reading it. The Fantasy Bond The early version of my theoretical approach set forth in The Fantasy Bond was primarily intended for psychologists, psychiatrists and others in… Read more »

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Why Is It So Hard to Leave a Narcissist?

Narcissistic Traits There are a considerable number of problems that come with dating a narcissist. Nevertheless, many people are drawn to narcissistic relationships. Studies have found narcissists to be more desirable and attractive to people as potential dates. Yet, entering a relationship with a narcissist can ultimately leave a person feeling like they’ve lost themselves… Read more »

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Is There a Place for Constructive Anger in Your Relationship?

Anger is one of the most misunderstood and undeveloped emotions we carry within us. Most of the couples I see in my private practice struggle with the expression of anger in one form or another. Either they swallow their anger, or they are harshly blaming but incapable of constructively expressing their angry feelings toward their… Read more »

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Accepting “Good Enough” Friends and Partners

It’s pretty much to be expected that the people who matter most to us also happen to be the ones with whom we spend the most time. Unfortunately, there can be a downside to getting to know someone really well. Not only do we become aware of their flaws or shortcomings, but we may hone… Read more »

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Advice From a Mother of the Bride

My daughter was married last month, which, in sitting down to write this blog, made me think: what advice could I offer her (and her partner) about committing to a longterm relationship and being married? What have I learned from the 40-plus years that I’ve been married? What have I learned from studying psychology and… Read more »

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Why We Must Keep Nurturing Connection

If these past 18 months have forced us to evaluate anything, it’s the importance of connection. Be it through new technologies, outdoor activities, or the little pods we’ve packed into to stay safe, we’ve all had to find creative ways to make connection work in a world of social distancing. Nurturing our relationships is one… Read more »

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Genuine Relating in an Imperfect World

Real-World Romance for Real-Life Partners Last month, I finished revising and updating The Fantasy Bond with my husband, Robert Firestone. While working on this book, now called Challenging the Fantasy Bond, I became aware of what a delicate balance it is to keep a relationship real. In a romantic relationship, people have a tendency to… Read more »

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Why We Should Stop Treating Love Like a “Pie”

I recently read a famous short story by Amy Bloom about an adult woman at her mother’s funeral. The woman is reflecting upon her mother’s life, specifically her relationship with two men who loved her at the same time. The woman remembers confronting her mother about her feelings for the man who was not her… Read more »

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