Critical Inner Voice and Intimacy

3 Questions that Can Change the Way You Feel About Sex

Your sexuality is an important part of who you are. This is true regardless of whether you’re in a relationship and whether or not you’re having sex. Whatever your situation, being alive to your sexuality is about to being true to and accepting of yourself; it is not about anyone else. It can mean different… Read more »

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Five Things You Can Do Today to Feel Closer to Your Partner

Relationships are full of ups and downs, but they can also have long lulls in which you just don’t feel the same level of intimacy or excitement with your partner. I’ve written a lot about the reasons you may start to lose that lit-up feeling of being in love as well as the ways you… Read more »

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Is My Self-Hatred Getting in the Way of Love?

The short answer is: yes! Hating yourself puts you directly at odds with someone who loves you. You each have diametrically opposed points of view about you: your’s being negative and your partner’s being positive. So what can you do to resolve this dilemma? And why does this dilemma exist in the first place? Let’s… Read more »

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Why the Spark Fades in a Relationship

Countless couples complain of losing the “spark” in their relationship. Some chalk it up to evolved differences, a slow growing apart, or sheer familiarity. The wave of “deadness” that can submerge a relationship after the first thrilling months or years have caused many couples to lose hope, and even look elsewhere for the excitement of… Read more »

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Is Sexual Stereotyping Affecting Your Relationship?

Sexual stereotypes are everywhere. We see them in commercials, where happy moms dance around their homes in celebration of a functional mop. We see them in movies, where stoic male heroes are still rescuing clueless heroines. We see them on sitcoms, where single women dream of getting their boyfriends to settle down, and lazy husbands… Read more »

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5 Strategies for Dealing With Your Partner’s Fear of Intimacy

As a therapist, I often hear couples complain that whenever one partner tries to get close, the other pulls away. It’s a painful reality that love isn’t always as easy to give and receive as we’d like to think. Many people have developed defenses that make them intolerant of too much love, attention or affection…. Read more »

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Why Are We Hooked on Rejection?

You don’t need to be a psychologist to note the very harsh effects of a breakup on a person’s mental health. When a relationship ends, humiliation, rage, loneliness, anguish and grief all seem to simultaneously show up at the door, marching in arm-in-arm to parade noisily around our psyche. Evicting these emotions is a matter… Read more »

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Alive Sexuality by Robert Firestone, Ph.D.

Sex is one of the strongest motivating forces in life. It has the potential for creating intense pleasure and fulfillment or for causing considerable pain and suffering. The effect of a natural expression of sexuality on one’s sense of well-being and overall enjoyment of life cannot be over-emphasized. The way people feel about themselves as… Read more »

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Is Sexting Cheating You Out Of Real Intimacy?

There is a good, sound argument for how technology can bring two people together. Countless couples have now met, married, forged unions, and had children as a result of a dating website, a Facebook chat, or a bold text message. Technology has provided a new platform for millions of people to take that first step… Read more »

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Making Love Last by Learning to Love

Look up the word “love” in any dictionary and you’ll find two separate definitions. The first: an abstract noun encapsulating a feeling of tenderness, passion and warmth. The second: a verb defined by concrete actions such as giving affection or expressing tenderness and care. The trouble with these parallel definitions of love is that too… Read more »

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