Parenting

How Do Adverse Childhood Events Impact Us?

…And can positive childhood events provide protection? In the 1980s, Dr. Vincent Felitti, a physician from Kaiser Permanente was running an obesity clinic through the Department of Preventive Medicine. After several years, much to Felitti’s puzzlement, more than half of the people participating had dropped out despite successfully losing weight. Determined to find out why,… Read more »

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Mr. Rogers is Right: Secure Attachment Allows for Growth After Trauma

Childhood is a critical time for discovering and enhancing the secure attachment ideally built in the early years of a parental relationship with a child. Our earliest relationships do a great deal to establish our sense of self and wellbeing. Knowing, “I matter, my needs matter, and my loved ones will help keep me safe”… Read more »

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The Myth of a Perfect Mother

This Mother’s Day was the 40th one that I have celebrated as a mother. And it has occurred to me that I have earned the right to answer the question: “What piece of advice would you offer about being a mother?”  I used to think that only perfect mothers were qualified to speak on this… Read more »

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What Kids Really Need from Their Parents

Being a parent comes with a lot of pressure to do right by our kids. But boiled down to specific, daily decisions, this pursuit also comes with a lot of confusion. It’s easy to get caught up in the checklists of items that we hope will benefit our children: special classes, programs, and parenting methodologies…. Read more »

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5 Ways Working on Ourselves Can Benefit Our Kids

 “Don’t worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you.” – Robert Fulghum A lot of people marvel at how parenting has changed over the years. Some mock how it’s become so much more hands-on and child-centered. “We grew up like wild dogs in the ‘60s,” joked Jerry Seinfeld in a recent stand-up routine. “No helmets,… Read more »

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Three Principles to Raise Free and Happy Kids

As parents, it’s safe to say that our number one goal is to make our children feel safe and loved. However, there is a lot of gray area and disagreement about what approach to parenting accomplishes this goal. Does good parenting mean staying by your kids’ side every second, warning them of any potential danger… Read more »

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7 Warning Signs That a New Mom Needs Help for Troubling Emotions

“Nobody would believe what an effort it is to do what little I am able.”  – Charlotte Perkins Gilman, The Yellow Wallpaper, 1892 For some new moms, motherhood sparks surprisingly difficult emotions. We expect new mothers to greet a newborn with joy and delight. But not every woman will feel these emotions after childbirth. Days,… Read more »

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What History Tells Us About the Dangers of Separating Children from Parents

The children who have been forcibly torn from their parents at U.S. borders have more trauma to endure than the parting itself. More likely than not, they will face a lifetime of painful consequences from the terror and neglect they’ve suffered and continue to suffer every minute they continue to be kept from their families…. Read more »

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Human Rights Violations in Personal Relationships

When protection of the state or political system takes precedence over the individual, the needs of most citizens are not served; instead they generally suffer economically, politically, and personally. Similarly, when the couple or family system takes precedence over its members, issues of human rights become a low priority. Both conditions set the stage for… Read more »

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Why Treating Postpartum Depression As Trauma is Key to Good Care

Most health professionals understand postpartum depression (PPD) and other mood disorders are a serious mental health concern. Raising awareness of postpartum mood and anxiety disorders (PMADs) is so important for two reasons. First, professionals need to be more proactive with evaluation and diagnosis, because PMADs can be challenging to detect during a brief office visit.  Women… Read more »

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