Happiness

Three Questions That Could Change Your Relationship With Food

When my niece was a teenager, she asked a group of her friends to guess the number of calories in a serving of corn nuts she was eating. Because none of them had ever eaten corn nuts before, she posed the question as more of a random game of trivia than out of any concern… Read more »

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Challenging the Fantasy Bond

In this blog, I am excited to share the introduction and conclusion from my new book, Challenging the Fantasy Bond.  I hope you find it interesting and enjoy reading it. The Fantasy Bond The early version of my theoretical approach set forth in The Fantasy Bond was primarily intended for psychologists, psychiatrists and others in… Read more »

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No Resolutions for Me

I’ve decided not to make any New Year’s resolutions. This just isn’t the year for that. There are a lot of suggestions being offered for constructive ways to approach this upcoming year. There are the traditional self-improvement resolutions. Then there is gentler advice that focuses on gratitude and self-compassion. But I’m going to ignore them… Read more »

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Accepting “Good Enough” Friends and Partners

It’s pretty much to be expected that the people who matter most to us also happen to be the ones with whom we spend the most time. Unfortunately, there can be a downside to getting to know someone really well. Not only do we become aware of their flaws or shortcomings, but we may hone… Read more »

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Unknowingly Guilty of Magical Thinking

I have been blessed with a very lucky life. I was born into a middle-class family in a modern, developed country. My children and my loved ones have all been healthy. Medical attention has been available to us. I have never suffered from financial hardship. I have always had friends. I’ve enjoyed the work and interests I… Read more »

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How to Let People Help You

All of us have a longing to be the recipient of caring gestures and offerings that express thoughtfulness and sensitivity to what we need. However, many of us also experience a certain level of discomfort around receiving because, even as it may benefit us and be what we wish for, it also challenges us. Too… Read more »

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Why We Must Keep Nurturing Connection

If these past 18 months have forced us to evaluate anything, it’s the importance of connection. Be it through new technologies, outdoor activities, or the little pods we’ve packed into to stay safe, we’ve all had to find creative ways to make connection work in a world of social distancing. Nurturing our relationships is one… Read more »

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Genuine Relating in an Imperfect World

Real-World Romance for Real-Life Partners Last month, I finished revising and updating The Fantasy Bond with my husband, Robert Firestone. While working on this book, now called Challenging the Fantasy Bond, I became aware of what a delicate balance it is to keep a relationship real. In a romantic relationship, people have a tendency to… Read more »

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4 Reasons to Take Ownership of Your Feelings

There is a common pattern to the way many people tell stories about their emotions, particularly emotions that come up in their relationships. It involves a passive perspective, a perpetual stance of being made to feel certain ways. “She made me feel like I was invisible.” “He was trying to embarrass me.” “Her nagging is… Read more »

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Are You Swiping Right on Your Attachment Style?

How your attachment style may be sabotaging your finding love. Over the years, I have witnessed many people turning to dating sites to find a romantic partner. I have witnessed some of them finding love and companionship and others experiencing disappointment, frustration and rejection. And with these observations, I have become aware of how much… Read more »

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