Self-Destructive Behavior

How Sick is “Sick Enough?”

10 pounds made the difference between actually living and simply surviving.   A year ago, I based my self-worth off the number describing the gravitational pull of my body toward the earth. I felt that my body’s natural hunger cues were signs of weakness.  I believed that if I could only run longer, see a gap… Read more »

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Addressing Suicide Risk in Trying Times

In April, a Global Emotions Report by Gallup showed that people worldwide are sadder, more afraid, and angrier than ever before. This news may not hit you as a surprise. The sense of heaviness in a recent talk about the state of the world is palpable. It seems every day we are struck by dire existential warnings,… Read more »

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How’s That Working for You?

Why are we so stubborn about changing certain patterns? “What would you say is your biggest weakness?” This is probably the most dreaded question in a standard job interview, in large part because it’s one we aren’t really expected to answer honestly. Instead, we’re supposed to guise the weakness as a strength. “I’m a perfectionist.”… Read more »

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The Inner Voice in Self-Destructive Behavior and Suicide

Suicide is a tragic ending to life that, in many cases, can be averted. It constitutes a public health problem of considerable magnitude in the United States, occurring at nearly twice the rate as that of homicide.  From 1999 to 2016, suicide rates have steadily risen in nearly every state in the union. Understanding this seemingly perverse anti-life behavior… Read more »

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6 Major Influences that Stop You from Becoming Your True Self

To be nobody but yourself in a world that is doing its best, day and night, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting. ~ e.e. cummings Each individual faces a struggle against powerful odds to retain a unique selfhood and personal… Read more »

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Understanding Self-Harming Behavior: Healing with Self-Care and Compassion

The phrase “self-harming behavior” may call up images of troubled teenagers with cuts on their arms. But self-injury can occur for people of any age, in children, adolescents and adults, whether male or female. People who self-harm or cut are people who are in pain. We have to notice that.  The important thing is to… Read more »

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Compulsive Liars: The Truth About Lying

“You’re a despicable liar!” These words, shouted by my 11-year-old cousin, John, were etched into my mind some forty years ago. Not because they stung, but because I was so struck by John’s impressive use of the word “despicable,” and the dramatic flair with which he hurled it at me. I distinctly remember that I… Read more »

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Is Fear of Emotion Driving Our Addiction?

As human beings, the deepest, most core conflict we face is whether or not to feel. Do we seek vitality, love, passion, compassion and the unpredictable roller coaster that comes with being engaged in life and emotion? Or do we engage in behavior that detaches us from the inherent pain of the human condition? When… Read more »

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“Nobody Likes Me:” Understanding Loneliness and Self-shame

    There is perhaps no more painful thought in the world than that of “nobody likes me.” It’s an easy feeling to indulge and dwell on, a terrible go-to self-attack in low moments when we feel isolated, depressed, anxious or insecure. This feeling has almost no bearing in reality and no purpose other than… Read more »

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Why We Won’t Let Ourselves Be Happy

When it comes to our own happiness, many of us are familiar with the pattern of taking two steps forward, one step back. For example, if we want to lose weight, we may find that after having some success, which makes us happy, we drift up to a higher weight than we started at. If… Read more »

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