Relationships

Is My Self-Hatred Getting in the Way of Love?

How your negative self-image puts you at odds with your lover. When we first fall in love, we have a positive response to feeling understood and valued by someone who matters to us. But eventually we can find ourselves faced with two opposing views of who we are: the familiar, albeit negative, view of ourselves… Read more »

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Do You or Your Partner Have an Anxious Attachment?

Relationships are very much about give and take. At their best, they are a back-and-forth flow of love and affection. Things go smoothly when we’re able to attune to another person’s wants and needs, and they’re able to attune to ours. Yet, as most of us know, this sweet and simple-sounding interaction is often fraught… Read more »

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How to Improve Relationships By Knowing Your Attachment Style

Our first relationships profoundly shape how we connect with others. A baby’s earliest lessons teach whether to depend on an important person for comfort and acceptance, or whether to expect distress, disconnection or shame. An infant begins life learning if important people can be good sources of comfort and safety. A baby may learn that… Read more »

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Do You or Your Partner Have an Avoidant Attachment Pattern?

A while back when recording a podcast, my team at PsychAlive and I asked a random group of people if they considered themselves the pursuer or the distancer in their relationship? In other words, did they see themselves as the one who’s usually wanting more closeness and intimacy or the one who typically needs more… Read more »

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How to Stop Feeling Triggered by Your Partner

In my last blog, I wrote about some of the psychological reasons we get triggered by our partner in a relationship. I explored why tensions can rise so quickly, and things can feel heated before either person has a chance to understand what’s going on. These conflicts can be fraught enough for some people to… Read more »

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Why Do We Trigger Each Other in Close Relationships?

3 important factors to help you understand why you’re triggered by your partner What is a fight between a couple but a series of triggers being set off one after the other? One person feels dismissed in a conversation and accuses the other of being superior. The other person fires back that they’re being dramatic…. Read more »

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The Act of Loving

It’s so easy to overlook the fact that love is more than a feeling, it is an action. Love isn’t just a noun; it’s a verb! The act of loving is more gratifying for both the lover and the beloved than the state of being in love. That state is passive. It easily dissolves into… Read more »

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What’s Ruining Your Sex Life?

Sexuality invites us to be in the moment, connected to our body, our senses, and to another person. Yet having a “critical inner voice” sounding off in our minds during sex is a little like having an extra person in the room critiquing everything from our desirableness to our performance. These critical inner voices take us… Read more »

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The Intersection of Chronic Illness and Sex

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, chronic diseases affect 133 million Americans, representing more than 40% of the population of this country. By 2020, that number is projected to be an estimated 157 million, with 81 million having multiple conditions. Chronic illness can have profound negative effects on a relationship and sexual… Read more »

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Why Do We Keep Ending Up in the Same Kinds of Relationships? The Answer Lies in Our Attachment Styles

As I observe my single friends and family members navigating the dating world and looking for love, I keep hearing the same question: Why do I always end up in the same kind of relationship? “I started out feeling optimistic about this relationship, but then things fell apart like they always do, and the relationship… Read more »

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