critical inner voice

Why Millennials Are So Lonely

There’s been a rising concern about the epidemic of loneliness in our society. Last year, a national survey by Cigna of more than 20,000 Americans ages 18 and over showed that most U.S. adults are considered lonely. That particular study found that that the youngest generation of those surveyed were the loneliest of all. Now,… Read more »

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Defense Mechanisms

“When children are faced with pain and anxiety in their developmental years, they develop defense mechanisms to cut off that pain. But the tragedy is that in cutting off the pain, you also cut deeply into their lives, so that defenses that were basically survival-oriented psychologically also serve as terrible limitations to the self.” ~… Read more »

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Recognizing “Blindspots” in Our Self-Perception

“Don’t sell yourself short,” my friend recently told me, catching me in unconscious act of belittling myself. Though her support brought a smile to my face, her comment was unexpected and caused me to lose my train of thought. I began to analyze my self-perception and how it had influenced the conversation that had just… Read more »

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How’s That Working for You?

Why are we so stubborn about changing certain patterns? “What would you say is your biggest weakness?” This is probably the most dreaded question in a standard job interview, in large part because it’s one we aren’t really expected to answer honestly. Instead, we’re supposed to guise the weakness as a strength. “I’m a perfectionist.”… Read more »

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The Wellness Paradox: The Stress of Being Healthy

With one quick scroll through my Instagram explore page, I’ve already found one post telling me the caloric content of 20 different types of breads, another with the top 15 foods with the least amount of pesticides, and a third with the benefits of celery juice, presented with a photo of a thin woman holding… Read more »

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5 Ways to Rewrite Your Breakup Story and Feel Better

How to make sense of and feel better about a breakup. As a therapist, I hear a lot of breakup stories. Many people come to therapy because they’re struggling to “get over” someone. They often feel stuck in their pain, as if life will never be good again. They say that all they want is to get… Read more »

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How To Love And Enjoy Your Own Body Again, Especially After Sexual Trauma

No matter who you are, feeling confident and attractive in today’s world can be a huge challenge. Images, voices and messages from mainstream media hold us up to impossible standards of looks and beauty.  Sexual confidence can disappear if we get unrealistic ideas in our heads about what it takes to be deemed attractive. For… Read more »

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5 Things to Do When Your Inner Critic Takes Over

Each of us has a side of ourselves that is “on our team,” rooting for us as we move through life and encouraging us to take positive, goal-directed actions. However, we also have another side that is our biggest critic – our worst enemy – in pretty much every sense. A lot of people chalk… Read more »

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Is My Self-Hatred Getting in the Way of Love?

How your negative self-image puts you at odds with your lover. When we first fall in love, we have a positive response to feeling understood and valued by someone who matters to us. But eventually we can find ourselves faced with two opposing views of who we are: the familiar, albeit negative, view of ourselves… Read more »

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How to Stop Feeling Triggered by Your Partner

In my last blog, I wrote about some of the psychological reasons we get triggered by our partner in a relationship. I explored why tensions can rise so quickly, and things can feel heated before either person has a chance to understand what’s going on. These conflicts can be fraught enough for some people to… Read more »

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