critical inner voice

3 Ways to Tell You’re Afraid of Intimacy

While most of us say we want love, pretty much all of us have some degree of fear around intimacy. The type and extent of this fear can vary based on our personal history: the attachment patterns we developed and the psychological defenses we formed to protect ourselves from early hurts. These patterns and defenses… Read more »

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Dealing With Today’s Trauma

Two weeks ago, I was talking to a friend who has been depressed. Because of COVID-19 and her age, she is quarantined and has been unable to visit with many of her friends. As she described the details of her life and her loneliness, she broke down crying, “I don’t recognize my life! I don’t… Read more »

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Three Ways to Beat Your Insecurity

For many of us, not a day goes by where we aren’t affected by insecurity. In my last blog, I wrote about two primary sources of insecurity. Here, I will talk about an approach to challenging our negative self-concept by seeking inner security, bolstering self-compassion, and countering the “critical inner voice” that resides in all of us. Developing Inner… Read more »

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Are You Feeling Insecure?

One of the biggest afflictions I see people struggle with is insecurity. This is in large part why I’ve dedicated much of my life to studying the self-critical thoughts or “critical inner voices” people experience. It’s probably no surprise to you that in decades of research, one of the most common self-attacks I’ve seen people… Read more »

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Coping With Loneliness During a Pandemic

Part 1: Overcoming the inner enemy that haunts us when we’re isolated. In late 2019, the team I work with at PsychAlive decided to offer a webinar on overcoming loneliness that would run in April of 2020. At the time, we had no idea that a global pandemic would give the subject of loneliness an entirely new… Read more »

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The Importance of Accepting Compliments

Receiving compliments may be one of the areas we all have room to stretch and grow!   Whether compliments are from someone we know and love or a complete stranger, we can struggle to accept the kind words of others. However, this struggle goes deeper than manners or cultural norms, it shows that the recipient is… Read more »

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3 Steps to Sustaining a Loving Relationship

A good relationship is all about connection, not just the one we feel when we first fall for someone, but the one we shape over time as we learn to share our lives with another person. For most couples, struggles tend to exist in the spaces where partners have either drifted apart or become fused… Read more »

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Are You Setting Yourself Up For Failure?

It’s now February and nearly two months into our New Year’s Resolutions for 2020. So how are you doing with yours? Do you know that, according to the American Psychological Association, 93% of people set resolutions at the first of the year? And did you also know that research shows that by February, 45% of those… Read more »

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Changing the Way You See the World

We’ve all experienced those major shifts in our outlook that drag our mood in new directions. One minute, we’re in a groove at the office, believing in ourselves, and excited about the outcome of whatever we’re working on. The next minute we’re full of doubt, insecure, and ready to toss anything we come up with… Read more »

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Making Sense of Trauma

When a person endures childhood trauma, the experience can have a ripple effect on their mental and physical health throughout their lives. Research on the impact of adverse childhood experience has left no doubt that early trauma, especially unresolved trauma, impacts the development of emotional regulation skills and distress tolerance. Adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) have… Read more »

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