critical inner voice

How to Fight the Loneliness Epidemic

Taking on your inner critic may help you feel less lonely In the United States, loneliness is currently at epidemic levels. A recent Cigna study of 20,000 U.S. adults found that nearly half of Americans feel like they are alone. Only slightly more than 50 percent of respondents said they had meaningful in-person social interactions on… Read more »

Learn More

Thanksgiving is Good for Your Mental Health

Research shows that expressing gratitude is good for your mental health. It increases happiness and decreases depression. It also enhances empathy and reduces aggression. It promotes social interactions and fosters new relationships. Gratitude counteracts other toxic emotions, such as envy, resentment, victimization and cynicism. It not only reduces stress, but research indicates that it may also play a major role in overcoming trauma. All good things, but… Read more »

Learn More

Empowering Yourself to Conquer an Addiction

 “Pain in this life is not avoidable, but the pain we create avoiding pain is avoidable.” ~R.D. Laing Millions of people turn to addiction for escape only to find it a prison. One of the reasons an addiction is such an effective trap is that it’s constructed on contradiction. The lows chase the highs, the… Read more »

Learn More

Voice Therapy

In my last blog, I described the “voice” as a series of negative thoughts and attitudes toward self and others, which are at the core of a person’s self-destructive ideology and behavior. As such, the voice can be conceived of as the internal enemy or anti-self aspect of the personality. My approach to psychotherapy is… Read more »

Learn More

The Voice (The Enemy Within)

Discover the negative thoughts and attitudes at the core of a person’s maladaptation. The voice consists of a series of negative thoughts and attitudes toward oneself and others that is at the core of a person’s maladaptation. It can be conceptualized as the language of the defense system. The voice is not restricted to thoughts,… Read more »

Learn More

Is My Self-Hatred Getting in the Way of Love?

The short answer is: yes! Hating yourself puts you directly at odds with someone who loves you. You each have diametrically opposed points of view about you: your’s being negative and your partner’s being positive. So what can you do to resolve this dilemma? And why does this dilemma exist in the first place? Let’s… Read more »

Learn More

Changing Your Sense of Identity

Recently, I wrote about “Living with an Accidental Identity.” I described how painful early experiences, definitions, and defenses affect the way individuals perceive and present themselves throughout their lives, leading them to develop an “accidental identity,” rather than a true sense of who they are. Understanding this process can lead people to question their negative identity and make… Read more »

Learn More

How Your Critical Inner Voice Gets in the Way of Love

There’s a nasty defense mechanism that undermines and sabotages your efforts to have love in your life: your critical inner voice. It comes at you from all sides; it goes after you, it badmouths your partner, it slams your relationship, and it attacks love in general. We are mostly unaware of this internal enemy and… Read more »

Learn More

The Unselfish Art of Prioritizing Yourself

Taking care of ourselves and doing what we love is NOT selfish Most of us are taught from an early age that being selfless is a good thing. There are many benefits of altruism to both our mental and physical well-being. However, sometimes the messaging we receive to be giving of ourselves, to push ourselves to the… Read more »

Learn More

Self-Consciousness: How to Reduce Self-Consciousness

The term “self-consciousness” doesn’t sound so bad when broken down. After all, being conscious of oneself is something we all need in order to operate as social beings in a social world. However, self-consciousness often describes an exaggerated focus or uncomfortable attitude we have about ourselves and how we are perceived. The problem with self-consciousness… Read more »

Learn More