critical inner voice

How to Stop Feeling Triggered by Your Partner

In my last blog, I wrote about some of the psychological reasons we get triggered by our partner in a relationship. I explored why tensions can rise so quickly, and things can feel heated before either person has a chance to understand what’s going on. These conflicts can be fraught enough for some people to… Read more »

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What’s Ruining Your Sex Life?

Sexuality invites us to be in the moment, connected to our body, our senses, and to another person. Yet having a “critical inner voice” sounding off in our minds during sex isa little like having an extra person in the room critiquing everything from our desirableness to our performance. These critical inner voices take us out… Read more »

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An Overview of Separation Theory

Separation Theory integrates psychoanalytic and existential systems of thought by showing how early interpersonal pain, and separation anxiety and later death anxiety lead to the development of powerful psychological defenses. These defenses attempt to cope with and minimize painful experiences and emotions suffered in one’s developmental years but later predispose limitations and maladaptation in adult… Read more »

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What Really Goes On in the Mind of a Narcissist?

Most of us have a sense of what it means to be narcissistic, but we aren’t as clear about what makes a person that way. What motivates a narcissist’s behavior? What gives them their inflated sense of self? As we understand more and more about what makes up narcissism, we can start to gain more… Read more »

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Insight into the Violent Mind

Both glamorizing and demonizing violence help us avoid having to understand the violent mind. We should enter the violent person’s subjective world, not just in order to be able to offer treatment, but also to anticipate the nature of the risks they embody both to themselves and to society. ~ Peter Fonagy, “Towards a Developmental… Read more »

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The Inner Voice in Self-Destructive Behavior and Suicide

Suicide is a tragic ending to life that, in many cases, can be averted. It constitutes a public health problem of considerable magnitude in the United States, occurring at nearly twice the rate as that of homicide.  From 1999 to 2016, suicide rates have steadily risen in nearly every state in the union. Understanding this seemingly perverse anti-life behavior… Read more »

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Silencing the Troll Inside Your Head

In a recent study, nearly half of Americans surveyed said they’d experienced online harassment or abuse. Cruel, condescending, and critical commentary can be found everywhere from celebrity Twitter threads to the comment sections of blogs about topics as innocuous as how to properly boil an egg. While it’s shocking and upsetting to have a complete stranger lash out… Read more »

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How to Fight the Loneliness Epidemic

Taking on your inner critic may help you feel less lonely In the United States, loneliness is currently at epidemic levels. A recent Cigna study of 20,000 U.S. adults found that nearly half of Americans feel like they are alone. Only slightly more than 50 percent of respondents said they had meaningful in-person social interactions on… Read more »

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Thanksgiving is Good for Your Mental Health

Research shows that expressing gratitude is good for your mental health. It increases happiness and decreases depression. It also enhances empathy and reduces aggression. It promotes social interactions and fosters new relationships. Gratitude counteracts other toxic emotions, such as envy, resentment, victimization and cynicism. It not only reduces stress, but research indicates that it may also play a major role in overcoming trauma. All good things, but… Read more »

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Empowering Yourself to Conquer an Addiction

 “Pain in this life is not avoidable, but the pain we create avoiding pain is avoidable.” ~R.D. Laing Millions of people turn to addiction for escape only to find it a prison. One of the reasons an addiction is such an effective trap is that it’s constructed on contradiction. The lows chase the highs, the… Read more »

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