anti-self system

The Inner Voice in Self-Destructive Behavior and Suicide

Suicide is a tragic ending to life that, in many cases, can be averted. It constitutes a public health problem of considerable magnitude in the United States, occurring at nearly twice the rate as that of homicide.  From 1999 to 2016, suicide rates have steadily risen in nearly every state in the union. Understanding this seemingly perverse anti-life behavior… Read more »

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Want to Improve Your Body Image? Try this…it’s not what you think

Instead of mercilessly judging and criticizing yourself for various inadequacies or shortcomings, self-compassion means you are kind and understanding when confronted with personal failings – after all, who ever said you were supposed to be perfect? –Neff, 2018 (1) If you are like most Americans, you often view your body as an object, rather than… Read more »

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Is My Self-Hatred Getting in the Way of Love?

The short answer is: yes! Hating yourself puts you directly at odds with someone who loves you. You each have diametrically opposed points of view about you: your’s being negative and your partner’s being positive. So what can you do to resolve this dilemma? And why does this dilemma exist in the first place? Let’s… Read more »

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Why People with Eating Disorders Need Our Compassion

Why do some people develop an eating disorder like anorexia, bulimia, or compulsive overeating or binging? When we see someone refusing to eat or eating into obesity, the temptation is to criticize or correct them. “Just stop it! Can’t you see you’re hurting yourself?” But criticism is the last thing a person with an eating… Read more »

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Low Self-Esteem: What Does it Mean to Lack Self-Esteem?

What is Low Self-Esteem Low self-esteem is characterized by a lack of confidence and feeling badly about oneself. People with low self-esteem often feel unlovable, awkward, or incompetent. According to researchers Morris Rosenberg and Timothy J. Owens, who wrote Low Self-Esteem People: A Collective Portrait, people with low self-esteem tend to be hypersensitive. They have… Read more »

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Self-Loathing

Self-loathing is that underlying feeling that we are just not good: not good enough, not good at this, not good at that, not good at – or for –much of anything.  It can be subtle, we may habitually compare ourselves to others, for instance, constantly finding fault with ourselves and putting ourselves down, with no… Read more »

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How to Reduce Self-Criticism and Make Real Change

My biggest problem with New Year’s resolutions is that, too often, they’re grounded in self-criticism. And by self-criticism, I do not mean a positive or realistic aspiration to be a better human being. What I’m referring to is a deep, dark core belief that we are just not good enough. For many of us, this… Read more »

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The Many Benefits Of Self-Compassion

Our sense of self is often a divided thing. Most of us have a side in us that is “on our own team.” It encourages and supports us. It helps us fight for what we want and believes in what we can achieve. However, there is often an opposite force in each of us that… Read more »

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I Hate My Body: Dealing with Poor Body Image

In the age of selfies and social media, we hear a lot about the rise of narcissism in modern society. Yet, with this increased importance placed on appearance, we need equally worry about the epidemic of poor body image. A survey by Glamour Magazine found that 97 percent of women questioned had an “I hate… Read more »

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Is Fear of Emotion Driving Our Addiction?

As human beings, the deepest, most core conflict we face is whether or not to feel. Do we seek vitality, love, passion, compassion and the unpredictable roller coaster that comes with being engaged in life and emotion? Or do we engage in behavior that detaches us from the inherent pain of the human condition? When… Read more »

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