Search Results for: critical inner voice

How to Cope with Missing People

…ar better able to keep calm and carry on. 3. Don’t listen to your critical inner voice When challenges arise that are outside your control, it’s tempting to get dejected and feel demoralized, cynical, or hopeless. In these moments, you may not be aware of a “critical inner voice” at work that capitalizes on your misfortunes. This “voice” may encourage you to be isolated by feeding you thoughts like, “Don’t bother calling your friend today. You’re…

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The One New Year’s Resolution You Should Make this Year

…hat New Year’s resolutions, by nature, play into the hand of our “critical inner voice.” The tricky thing is that our critical inner voice can be very hard to catch on to. We can start out a new year with a goal in mind that we truly care about. Perhaps, we want to exercise more or spend more “tech-free” time with our kids. Come January 1st, we’re lacing up our running shoes in the morning and locking up our iPhone for the night. We start off feel…

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Are You Feeling Insecure?

…icated much of my life to studying the self-critical thoughts or “critical inner voices” people experience. It’s probably no surprise to you that in decades of research, one of the most common self-attacks I’ve seen people report is “I am different from everyone else.” Feeling left out and low about ourselves is incredibly common, with some studies estimating that as much as 85 percent of people suffer from low self-esteem. Those of us who experie…

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Feeling Like a Failure

…ming the Destructive Inner Voice. He describes an “anti-self” or “critical inner voice” we all experience that acts like an internal judge. This voice is almost constantly assessing us, evaluating what we accomplish and how we’re perceived. This cruel inner critic not only tells us that we’re failing when we’re not, but it contributes to self-limiting behavior that can lead our fear around failure to become a self-fulfilling prophecy. “Destructive…

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How to Stop Anxiety

…ver feel alone or different from everyone else.   3. Conquer your critical inner voice – It isn’t always what’s happening in our lives that causes us to feel anxious, but what we’re telling ourselves about what’s happening. We all have what psychologists Robert and Lisa Firestone refer to as a “critical inner voice,” a destructive internal thought process that criticizes and undermines us and, consequently, exacerbates our anxiety. In their book C…

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How I Came to Write a Book

…thing: “You should write it!” I said, “You can’t be serious!” My critical inner voice said, “You can’t write a book! Who are you kidding?” But my family and friends persisted in their support, plus I really wanted this book to be written. So I decided to give it a try. I thought, “After all, I’m familiar with the material from working with it for so many years and I know how to explain it in everyday (non-academic, non-professional) language from…

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3 Principles to Keep Love Alive

…but you also recognize and value your differences. 3. Ignore your critical inner voice To varying degrees, we all have an enemy within, a part of ourselves that operates inside our heads much like a malicious coach, criticizing us and offering up bad advice. This enemy, with its destructive point of view, is your critical inner voice. It supports your defenses, which wouldn’t be a bad thing except that, for the most part, your defenses are archaic…

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Kindness Wins!

…that easy. Why is that and how can we be kinder? Be aware of your critical inner voice We are all aware of having mixed feelings toward ourselves and, at times, of being self-critical. Our mixed feelings and self-criticisms represent a split within us between forces that support and oppose our actual self. For the most part, we’re unaware of this split and of its destructive impact on our lives. To varying degrees, we all have an enemy within, a p…

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5 Ways to Beat the Winter Blues

…for it. You are so pathetic.” These cruel thoughts make up your “critical inner voice.” This inner enemy evolves out of painful early life experiences, in which we internalized destructive attitudes. As adults, we act out these self-punishing attitudes by listening to our critical inner voice. It is essential that we get to know our inner critic and that we catch on when it starts to get louder in our minds. We must identify this voice as the ene…

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How to Make Your Life More Meaningful

…will inevitably arise. The first enemy you’ll encounter is your “critical inner voice.” The critical inner voice is like a coach in your head that attempts to keep you feeling “safe” by maintaining your defensive adaptations to life and reinforcing the familiar old identity you grew up with. It may put you down and undermine your desires with thoughts like, “You don’t really want that, do you?” “You have never gone after it before,” “You probably…

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