Search Results for: critical inner voice

How to stop yourself from "losing it" with your child

…en. Though forcing a 4-year-old and 6-year-old to sit still and keep their voices down for hours at a time is no one’s favorite activity, by the time the fasten seatbelt light went off, my typically patient friend would already have come unglued. During the flight she’d find herself saying things like, “What is the matter with you? Why can’t you act like a grown up?” or “Next time, I’m not going to take you with me anywhere. Do you understand me?”…

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How to Not Lose the "Me" When Becoming a "We"

…eir fantasy is being disrupted. They become cynical and disillusioned, and critical of each other. Neither idealization nor cynicism has a place in a relationship between two adults who see each other as real people with positive attributes, amusing idiosyncrasies and personal limitations and flaws. Don’t distort your partner so that you can see him/her as perfect. Don’t try to avoid seeing your partner’s flaws. Don’t punish your partner for not l…

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Seven Real Vows to Make Your Marriage Last

…ck. It is possible to talk to one another about our feelings without being critical or complaining. Someone as close to us as our spouse may not be entirely right about us but rarely are they entirely wrong. By staying open and vulnerable to feedback, we can respond sensitively to our partners while learning more about ourselves. We are also more likely to entice an open reaction from them when something bothers us, and we can both benefit from ha…

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Angry at Love

…slight resistance to share activities we once both enjoyed, an increase in critical observations, lowered levels of passion, a slow breakdown of respect for each other’s independence and boundaries. When we act out these patterns of anger toward our partner, we are often truly angry at love itself. When our partner looks at us with kind eyes, it may start to get on our nerves. When he or she reaches for our hand, we may be a little more likely to…

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A Gender Sensitive Approach to Violence

…ound the world. Violence Prevention: A Gender Sensitive Approach This is a critically important event. You watch the 6 o’clock news, CNN, Headline news, every one is another story of violence. We now need to address that — both on a preventative and treatment basis — and that’s what I and the Melissa Institute are committed to doing. And you need to do this in a gender-sensitive way because it turns out that treating girls is different than treati…

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Staying Compatible by Staying Yourself

…eir fantasy is being disrupted. They become cynical and disillusioned, and critical of each other. Neither idealization nor cynicism has a place in a relationship between two adults who see each other as real people with positive attributes, amusing idiosyncrasies and personal limitations and flaws. * Don’t distort your partner so that you can see him/her as perfect. * Don’t try to avoid seeing your partner’s flaws. * Don’t punish your partner for…

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Is Our Aversion To Pain Killing Us?

…e, her notebooks became filled with her greatest fears, concerns, and self-critical thoughts that she’d tried to bury but that were keeping her mind from being at rest late at night, and often, for much of her days. As she wrote down and acknowledged these fears, she began to deal with them on a conscious and “feeling” level. Alleviating her fear of the anxiety in itself helped this woman to take control of her sleep disorder. Through dedication a…

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Relationship Issues Students Are Dealing With: Interview with Dr. Daniel Zamir

…the emotions is kind of the thoughts piece that we were talking about with voices. And so people have a lot of self-critical thoughts around relationships — both when they’re in relationships, but especially when relationships end — about, “Was there something I did or could have done? Am I making the right choices? Am I going to be able to find another person who’s going to be attracted to me in that same way?” And so, similarly, I’ll do a lot of…

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How to Keep Your Marriage Close and Exciting

…at comes with having strong feelings for another person. 3. Be honest, not critical – Once we start feeling comfortable tearing our partners apart, we lose respect for them and for ourselves. Respecting a loved one means never mistreating them but being honest with them about who we are and what we feel. If a quality they have bothers us, we shouldn’t sit on it and let it seep out in cynical comments, the rolling of eyes or loss of attraction. Ins…

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Restoring Recess by Carol Krucoff, E-RYT

…hance your recess, mirrors may detract from your experience if you’re self-critical. If so, play outdoors or in a mirror-free room. 3. Consider a few sessions with a fitness professional—such as a personal trainer or yoga teacher—to help you get started. [Visit the web sites of the American Council on Exercise, www.acefitness.com or the International Association of Yoga Therapists www.iaty.org to find a qualified instructor.] 4. Vary your activity…

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