Search Results for: critical inner voice

Quiz: Are You Open with Your Partner?

…on communication hazards in couple relationships include: the surfacing of critical attitudes, harsh, insensitive statements, talking over each other, failing to listen to each other or look for truth in each other’s statements, defensiveness or unwillingness to see things from a partner’s perpective. These common pitfalls can land people in situations in which they no longer feel close to their partner and no longer can talk about why that is. Ta…

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Looking for Mr. Perfect, Finding Mr. Right

…neral, I tried to apply what I had learned. I was open and tried not to be critical or judgmental. It turned out we were a good fit, and it’s lasted. I don’t think it would have worked out if I hadn’t learned what I did. So here are a few recommendations when looking for your Mr. Right: 1. Be open to re-evaluating your expectations, and maybe even yourself. We can’t hold on to that dream of Prince Charming forever. It doesn’t exist. Don’t look for…

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How to Make Love Last

…t does not mean relaying and acting on irrational, negative or excessively critical reactions toward a partner. Rather, honesty means that each member of the couple knows their self and what’s really going on with them personally. When a person is upset or angry, it is valuable to consider: Does this reaction reflect how they really feel or is it more based on negative programming from their past? Is it based on what is going on in the here and no…

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Military Suicide: A New Battle to Save Lives Must Begin by Dr. Lisa Firestone

…a detached, disassociated state in which they are experiencing severe self-critical thoughts often telling them that they are no good, that they do not matter or that they don’t belong. Soldiers often experience thoughts that they are a failure, weak and to blame. The general attitude of the military, in which individual human interests are subjugated to the greater value of the unit, can thus contribute to a feeling of hopelessness or a lack of s…

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Nerf Guns – What Are We Afraid of? by Debra Kessler, Psy.D.

…ressor, a powerless victim or a protector creates a place to explore these critical parts of the human character. When a parent recoils from the expression of anger and denies opportunities for expression of anger and aggression, how does the child learn about these parts of himself? We are at more risk of having children who are violent or destructive to themselves or others when we ignore or punish the expression of anger. Nerf guns or other exp…

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Achieving Sexual Intimacy

…How do our critical thoughts and self-conscious attitudes prevent us from getting close physically? Psychologist Dr. Lisa Firestone talks about the thought processes that can get in the way of experiencing sexual intimacy and ways of overcoming these distancing patterns….

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Understanding Anger

…, that you don’t like how they behaved. Refrain from being overly nasty or critical. If you do end up losing your temper or saying something you regret, apologize and explain that you lost your temper and do not like how you acted. Being aware of over-reactions that have to do with your past will enable you to respond appropriately when you are disciplining your children. Above all, never attack yourself for getting angry. Even if you “lose it” ha…

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No New Year’s Resolution is the Best Resolution of All

…adopt, we grab onto one anyway, just because we think we should. This is a critical point and maybe the best New Year’s resolution of all: get rid of all of our “shoulds.” Why do we have a New Year’s resolution? Because we should. Why do we commit to doing things differently in the coming year? Because we should. Why do things this way, rather than that? Because we should. But truth be told, if we are doing something because we “should,” it isn’t…

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Making Peace with Our Bodies

…n does not liberate, it oppresses.” Consider this the next time you cast a critical glare at that part of your body that apparently did not get the memo that it was supposed to remain unchanged from its 18-year-old counterpart. Embrace reality, my friends. End the dictatorship that has oppressed your unsuspecting thighs, stomach or backside. Paradoxically, doing so does not relinquish you to the slovenly mound of mush you so fear — it frees up the…

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How Childhood Defenses Hurt Us As Adults

…ed on by our parents while growing up. Perhaps, we suffered the wrath of a critical mother or the frustration of a father who worried excessively about everything from our winter weight gain to our average SAT scores. As kids, we may have armed ourselves against our parents’ shortcomings by keeping to ourselves, rebelling against restraints, or commanding a self-prescribed perfectionism. More than likely we acquired some bad habits along the way….

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