…down and doubts us when we’re up. Watch a Whiteboard Video on The Critical Inner Voice We’ve witnessed this critic in friends who’ve just experienced a break-up and are saying things like: What’s wrong with me? I’m unlovable. I’m destined to be alone. I’ll never find someone who really cares about me. We’ve seen it in ourselves just before a job interview: Don’t mess this up. I’m going to be too nervous. I sound like an idiot. What are they thinki…
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…s harsh inner critic, which Dr. Robert Firestone refers to as the Critical Inner Voice, contributes to a negative perceived self. Having a negative perception of oneself can have serious consequences. For example, if someone believes that other people don’t like them, they are more likely to avoid interactions with others and are quicker to react defensively, cynically, or even lash out. Rosenberg and Owen argue that “the nature and degree to whic…
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…(1994) observed that the pull toward suicide “often comes in the form of a voice…This voice grows in volume with the stress of the suicidal ordeal. It demands increasingly to be heard above everything else, and it begins to occupy a greater part of the person’s psyche until it smothers more reasonable voices altogether” (p. 74). The Continuum of Self-Destructive Thoughts and Behaviors The voice process exists along a continuum of intensity, rangin…
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…our current situation. Our insecurities can further stem from a “critical inner voice” that we’ve internalized based on negative programming from our past. If we had a parent who hated themselves, for example, or who directed critical attitudes toward us, we tend to internalize this point of view and carry it with us like a cruel coach inside our heads. This inner critic tends to be very vocal about the things that really matter to us, like our r…
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…ers. However, our negative experiences form a foundation for our “critical inner voice.” Like an internal coach, criticizing and luring us further from our authentic selves, this inner voice is our true enemy. Over and over again, throughout our lives, this “voice” is there to define us, tell us what we can and can’t do, how we need to behave. It is the unwelcome bully who thinks it knows us better than anyone else. It’s that echoing chant in the…
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…to what my father psychologist Robert Firestone refers to as the “critical inner voice” or “anti-self,” which berates them and lures them into their ultimate destruction. This internal enemy exists within all of us. Yet to some, particularly those who struggle with depression, addiction or other mental health disorders, this enemy can be life-threatening. In truth, it can be life threatening to any of us who succumb to its self-destructive directi…
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…describe a division that exists within each of us in Conquer Your Critical Inner Voice: All of us are divided within ourselves and have a basic conflict in relation to our goals and aspirations in life. On the one hand, we have feelings of warm self-regard and traits and behaviors that we like or feel comfortable with in ourselves. We have natural tendencies to grow and develop and to pursue our personal and vocational goals, as well as desires to…
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…titudes and often experience them as an internal commentary or a “critical inner voice” that attacks their sexuality. This inner critic may feed them harsh thoughts toward themselves, their partner, or sex, in general. Some examples I’ve heard from men and women recently include: “You’re so ugly. No one would want to see you naked. Cover yourself up.” “Sex is gross. You should try not to think about it.” “He’ll think you’re a slut if you sleep wit…
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…s that there is anything amiss. Or, we may listen intently to our critical inner voice while it scolds and berates us, telling us how embarrassing, stupid, or insensitive we are; refusing to challenge it even while we suffer from it. We may try to suppress this feeling of inadequacy by behaving as though we are superior to others; more intelligent, clever, intuitive, or attractive. It’s as though we have to prove that we are the absolute best in o…
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…what my father Dr. Robert Firestone has long referred to as the “critical inner voice.” This voice is like a sadistic internalized coach or commentator. It is always there to critique, punish, and undermine us. In many ways, it is a lens through which we filter our experience, and it is very much a contributor to our loneliness. It puts us down in relation to others, makes us feel awkward or uncomfortable in our own skin. It tells us we are unwor…
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