personal growth

Staying True to Your Core Values in a Relationship

  “Feel the Feelings, but Do the Right Thing” Anxiety of changing when you’re moving toward new behavior is normal, expected, that’s why one of the lines I hear myself saying a lot in therapy is “Feel the feeling; do the right thing.  Feel the feeling, but do the right thing” because feelings are rooted… Read more »

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Dr. Pat Love Defines Four Basic Keys to Loving

Dr. Pat Love describes four basic actions to take that constitute a concrete offering of love and can, therefore, dramatically improve a couple relationship: There are really four things, let me just tell you, four things that every baby needs, every child needs, every adult needs.  It’s just basic to homo sapiens, to the human… Read more »

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Selling Out: Compromising Integrity in Intimate Relationships

All partners in successful intimate relationships know how to compromise when negotiating each others needs. They fully expect to give up some things and strive for fairness in those decisions. When couples cooperate openly, most desires are met, negotiated, or willingly given up for the sake of the relationship’s success. But sometimes one partner wants something… Read more »

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Dr. Pat Love on Parenting

Dr. Pat Love on what it is to parent, and the mistaken conceptions of parenting that are endemic to our culture: There’s a lot of talk today about parents who hover, these helicopter parents.  And there’s just one line that I like to say and that is:  When you do something for someone else, let’s… Read more »

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Steps To Healthy Lifestyle Changes

Lifestyle changes begin with setting Intention. If you don’t have an intention, it easy to lose commitment to action. Intention is not a goal but an overarching frame for the “why” of doing something. For example, someone might have a goal of losing weight, but an overarching intention of feeling well, with more vitality for… Read more »

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The Beginning of the End of Mass Imprisonment and the Misuse of Prisons as Our De Facto Mental Health Care System

The U.S. Supreme Court’s decision in Brown v. Plata on May 23 ordering the state of California to reduce its prison population by more than 30,000 (from more than 140,000 to 110,000 inmates) over the next two years has received headlines, editorials and letters to the editor in newspapers around the country, as it should have…. Read more »

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A Parent’s Shorthand Guide to the College Transition

High school graduation is a culmination of emotions, a push-and-pull of opposing feelings on the human psyche. There’s a mixture of anxiety and excitement, happiness and sadness, regret and expectation, and relief and concern. And this doesn’t just apply to the grad either; parents are equally if not oftentimes more immersed in this emotional tug-of-war…. Read more »

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True Love or a Fantasy Bond?

There is a misconception in our culture concerning the reason why intimate relationships deteriorate and end. The typical relationship cycle is depicted as follows: Two people meet. They fall in love. They enjoy a certain portion of exhilarating time together. Then, reality sets in. The spark fades. Routine takes over. Fights begin. And love ends…. Read more »

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Evicting the "Obnoxious Roommate" In Your Head

I scanned the sea of black-robed 20-somethings for my sister’s familiar face. As I glanced over each aisle, I noted the beaming expressions of the satisfied graduate students about to receive their Masters degrees in Journalism. When I finally caught a glimpse of my sister, I was glad to see that in spite of the… Read more »

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Infidelity in the 21st Century

On May 9th, Former California Governor, Arnold Schwarzenegger and his wife, Maria Shriver, announced that they would be filing for divorce. While exact reasons were unknown at the time, only days later on May 16th, The Los Angeles Times revealed that Schwarzenegger had fathered a child with a household employee more than a decade earlier…. Read more »

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