What could be more important and empowering than making sense of your story? Research demonstrates that creating a coherent narrative of your early life frees you to be the author of your future. When we fail to make sense of the past, we are often trapped in it, reliving old hurts over and over again…. Read more »
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Our first relationships profoundly shape how we connect with others. A baby’s earliest lessons teach whether to depend on an important person for comfort and acceptance, or whether to expect distress, disconnection or shame. An infant begins life learning if important people can be good sources of comfort and safety. A baby may learn that… Read more »
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You have an important deadline at work. But you had to take your car to the shop. You skip breakfast and catch a ride to work. By noon your stomach is churning. On your way to lunch, your boss stops you to take care of something urgent. What do you do? We depend on our… Read more »
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“Where are you on your to-do list?” When I ask people this question, their response is usually one of confusion. While it may feel like a foreign concept to many of us, to be happy and effective in our day-to -day lives it’s imperative that we take care of ourselves. So what can you do to start… Read more »
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Effective tips to help you make a change… I have mixed feelings about New Year’s resolutions. On the one hand, I am all for setting goals and going after what you want in life. On the other hand, I see a problem with the way many people view and treat themselves when it comes to… Read more »
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Recently, a friend of mine who suffers from chronic lower back pain came back from yet another visit to the doctor with a bit of unexpected advice. Instead of the usual discussion of shots, medications, physical therapy, or even surgery, his doctor recommended a book, Healing Back Pain: The Mind Body Connection. The book by… Read more »
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Life is a practice, and what you choose to practice is what makes up your character. It’s worth considering what you value in life, and then making an intention and plan to live alongside those values. Ghandi’s wise words can inspire us to: “Be the change that you wish to see in the world.” Consider… Read more »
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This is the first in a series of blogs describing my theoretical approach known as Separation Theory. It represents an integration of psychoanalytic and existential systems of thought and describes how early interpersonal pain and separation anxiety and, later, death anxiety, lead to the formation of powerful psychological defenses. The primary defense is the fantasy… Read more »
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Recently, I wrote about “Living with an Accidental Identity.” I described how painful early experiences, definitions, and defenses affect the way individuals perceive and present themselves throughout their lives, leading them to develop an “accidental identity,” rather than a true sense of who they are. Understanding this process can lead people to question their negative identity and make… Read more »
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Taking care of ourselves and doing what we love is NOT selfish Most of us are taught from an early age that being selfless is a good thing. There are many benefits of altruism to both our mental and physical well-being. However, sometimes the messaging we receive to be giving of ourselves, to push ourselves to the… Read more »
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