Search Results for: kessler/2009/11/nerf-guns-–-what-are-we-afraid-of/2009/12/1593/2009/11/your-role-in-your-childs-development/2009/11/imperfect-parenting-rupture-and-repair-by-michelle-deen

Commitment Issues: Why Some People Have Them and Others Don’t

…of anger or hostility in an attempt to coerce reassurance (Tran & Simpson, 2009). Often, such reactions cause conflict and instability that leads to relationship decline. Children with anxious attachment often have experienced inconsistent parenting; sometimes they were responded to appropriately, and other times parents were intrusive or insensitive. The child doesn’t know what to expect and ends up distrustful yet clingy at the same time. It is…

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Can Attachment Theory Explain All Our Relationships?

…out 50 percent of the time. There are times when parents feel tired or distracted. The telephone rings or there is breakfast to prepare. In other words, attuned interactions rupture quite frequently. But the hallmark of a sensitive caregiver is that the ruptures are managed and repaired.” Maybe all this room for error means we’re wired for forgiveness. Or maybe, as Steele gently suggested at the end of our interview, even though I experienced my e…

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Role Models

…g positive qualities in ourselves so as to have a positive effect on their development. Ultimately, the greatest impact that we have on our children comes from us valuing and living our own lives. Many of us operate with the mistaken belief that good parenting involves sacrificing yourself for your children. However, we do not offer our children our best by being self-sacrificing and giving up parts of ourselves. We can only offer them our best by…

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How Your Personality Type Molds Your Parenting Style

…rent? Then you may be an ESTJ or ESFJ. When it came to confidence in their parenting, these two were markedly more satisfied with the job they were doing as parents. Of course, if you’re more on the analytical side as an INTJ, having children may have been a welcome challenge. Their constant mess and chaos is a chance to grow and a welcome one. In an interesting turn, the INFPs were a bit of a contradiction. Not everyone taking part in the study w…

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VIDEO: The Effects of Mindfulness Meditation on Parenting

…well: Wow. Certainly, if there’s any area mindfulness can help in, it’s in parenting because, wow, it’s hard to have kids and I mean it was my most favorite thing I ever did was to have kids and be home with them. It’s a lot of work and that’s why, in the olden days, people had kids when they were 20 because that’s how much energy you need with them. But as we are more aging parents – I didn’t have my first child ‘til I was 30 – you know, it requi…

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On Relationships and Parenting: An Interview with Dr. Pat Love

…has learned from her years as a couples’ therapist. Shifting her focus to parenting, Dr. Love offers her perspective on how to raise emotionally healthy children. “Parenting is simply about providing love, structure and protection,” she explains, emphasizing that it is important for parents to set limits for their children but not “hover” over them. This DVD is packed with useful information for introspective individuals and mental health profess…

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Become a Better Parent by Understanding Yourself

…too many cooks in the kitchen. From attachment parents to tiger moms, the parenting roles we are expected to fill are full of contradictions and can lead to a lot of uncertainty. The truth is, there are many healthy ways to raise a child. No one formula fits all. However, there is one thing parents can do that will almost certainly improve their relationships with their children, and that is to focus on themselves. There are certain ways all pare…

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The Myth of a Perfect Mother

…a willingness to be a real person with the child as opposed to acting the role of ‘mother’ or ‘father.’” Our children need us to step out from behind the role of Perfect Parent so they can see and know us as an authentic person. And they need to be related to by a genuine person to feel seen and real themselves. In Compassionate Childrearing, Firestone says, “Genuine contact [with a child] can be said to occur only when a parent expresses feeling…

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7 Reasons Most People are Afraid of Love

…resent starting our own lives as independent, autonomous individuals. This development can also represent a parting from our family. Much like breaking from an old identity, this separation isn’t physical. It doesn’t mean literally giving up our family, but rather letting go on an emotional level – no longer feeling like a kid and differentiating from the more negative dynamics that plagued our early relationships and shaped our identity. 7. Love…

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Adolescent Mental Health: Creating a Pathway for Healthy Development

…riencing it and their parents. As parents, caretakers, and counselors, our role is to be there for adolescents, providing a safe, supportive, and secure base from which they can launch into the world. And we can all get better at this pursuit by learning more about what young people are experiencing, what challenges they face, and what ways we can best support them. This webinar will take a look at some of the invaluable lessons we can draw from t…

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