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The Fantasy Bond or Primary Defense

This is the first in a series of blogs describing my theoretical approach known as Separation Theory. It represents an integration of psychoanalytic and existential systems of thought and describes how early interpersonal pain and separation anxiety and, later, death ...

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Changing Your Sense of Identity

Recently, I wrote about “Living with an Accidental Identity.” I described how painful early experiences, definitions, and defenses affect the way individuals perceive and present themselves throughout their lives, leading them to develop an “accidental identity,” rather than a true sense of ...

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The Unselfish Art of Prioritizing Yourself

prioritizing yourself

Taking care of ourselves and doing what we love is NOT selfish Most of us are taught from an early age that being selfless is a good thing. There are many benefits of altruism to both our mental and physical well-being. However, ...

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You Don’t Really Know Yourself

Examining the persistence of our negative identity My life’s work has focused on understanding resistance in psychotherapy and more specifically, on people’s fundamental resistance to the formation of a better, more positive image of themselves.  For the most part, they ...

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How to Find a Good Therapist

People seek therapy to get help making an important personal change, by their choice or urged by loved ones. Maybe you are being proactive and preparing for a happy event such as a wedding or a new baby, and you ...

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How to Stop Anxiety

Those of us who struggle with anxiety know how it can undermine us. We feel it impair our abilities, lower our spirits and limit the very quality of our lives. Yet, most of us have a hard time challenging our ...

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7 Steps to Living the Life You Imagined

A person’s life is too often a repetition or reenactment of the past. Becoming your true self is a process that lasts throughout a lifetime. Our personalities are not set in stone by the time we drive off to college ...

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