“When children are faced with pain and anxiety in their developmental years, they develop defense mechanisms to cut off that pain. But the tragedy is that in cutting off the pain, you also cut deeply into their lives, so that defenses that were basically survival-oriented psychologically also serve as terrible limitations to the self.” ~… Read more »
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In April, a Global Emotions Report by Gallup showed that people worldwide are sadder, more afraid, and angrier than ever before. This news may not hit you as a surprise. The sense of heaviness in a recent talk about the state of the world is palpable. It seems every day we are struck by dire existential warnings,… Read more »
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“Don’t sell yourself short,” my friend recently told me, catching me in unconscious act of belittling myself. Though her support brought a smile to my face, her comment was unexpected and caused me to lose my train of thought. I began to analyze my self-perception and how it had influenced the conversation that had just… Read more »
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“How are you?” This deceptively simple question can prove more loaded than the asker intended. Personally, I catch the word “good” flying out of my mouth instinctively, nearly before the question even registers in my head. This answer is familiar to me. It’s usually what the asker expects to hear, and it fits the societal… Read more »
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Life is full of ups and downs. Perhaps you recently ended a relationship, got negative feedback on a work project, or fell into a bout of stress, anxiety, or depression. Because our brains are wired to pay attention to the negative, losses like these are often magnified and/or rehashed over time, with the result that they become… Read more »
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Each of us has a side of ourselves that is “on our team,” rooting for us as we move through life and encouraging us to take positive, goal-directed actions. However, we also have another side that is our biggest critic – our worst enemy – in pretty much every sense. A lot of people chalk… Read more »
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What could be more important and empowering than making sense of your story? Research demonstrates that creating a coherent narrative of your early life frees you to be the author of your future. When we fail to make sense of the past, we are often trapped in it, reliving old hurts over and over again…. Read more »
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I’m sure people from every generation have felt this way, but I’m worried. From my perspective, the state of the world is troubled. It feels worse to me than any other point I can remember. Even setting aside the menace of climate change, headlines are frightening. Animosity and violence are looming large. More than ever,… Read more »
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Psychotherapy is a luxury that you deserve. When I was in my early 20s, I went into psychotherapy. At that point in my life, I had tried all of the things that were supposed to bring me happiness—college, marriage, moving to a different city—and I was getting more and more miserable. I wasn’t a mental mess; I wasn’t seriously… Read more »
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You have an important deadline at work. But you had to take your car to the shop. You skip breakfast and catch a ride to work. By noon your stomach is churning. On your way to lunch, your boss stops you to take care of something urgent. What do you do? We depend on our… Read more »
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