…mplex trauma, on the other hand, often develops during an earlier stage of development, over repeated incidents, involving a relationship that is supposed to be safe. The brain and nervous system adapt to expecting ongoing danger, often compromising the development of a healthy sense of self and the world. These adaptations then become deeply instilled in a person’s thinking, feeling and functioning. For example, you may develop constant hypervigi…
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…oods, emotions, and behaviors are affecting your daily functioning and the roles you’re responsible for filling, then there is something wrong, you’re not handling it on your own, and you need to reach out to someone for help. Never be too proud or ashamed to speak with a friend, therapist, life coach, or professional. Join groups. Create groups. Tap into all of the community and school resources that are available. Remember that the helpers are a…
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…oth you and your children develop and thrive. Transitioning Into Different Roles The first thing we can do is include them in projects and offer them responsibility. I recently read the actor Will Smith’s autobiography in which he shared a story of his father telling him and his brothers they were going to build the walls of the family’s new store. At first, the kids felt overwhelmed by this suggestion. How could we possibly build a wall? We’re ju…
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…f emotional challenges. While parents these days are often accused of over-parenting or coddling their kids, teaching them to take their emotions seriously is not a lesson in weakness or defeat, but a lesson in strength and resilience. Emotional intelligence can lead us to more successful lives. Even a highly uncertain time like waiting to hear what your academic future holds can also hold valuable lessons about how you really feel about growing u…
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… In this Experts at Home conversation, Dr. Lisa Firestone talks with Dr. Bonnie Goldstein, a licensed social worker, clinical psychologist, and expert in child and adolescent development. Dr. Goldstein discusses the challenges and opportunities of adolescence in the time of Covid-19. Watch Now: Subscribe to PsychAlive (it’s free!) to see more Experts at Home. …
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…ed simply for coming into adulthood. When we label a lot of their natural, developmental behaviors as bad or unacceptable, we teach our kids to sneak around and hide from us. As Dr. Siegel wrote, “Adolescents who are absorbing negative messages about who they are and what is expected of them may sink to that level instead of realizing their true potential.” It’s hard advice for many parents to take, but sometimes we have to let kids be. We can sti…
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…how lucky I am. I hope I never forget it. The time to dance is now. Other Posts by This Author: Where the Rubber Meets the Road Imperfect Parenting: Rupture and Repair Open to Emotion More-…
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…nication. Here you can read an interview with the author on “Mothers & daughters: How to talk to each other.” Related Articles: Emotional Hunger Versus Love Imperfect Parenting: Rupture and RepairCommunication with Children What You Need to Know About Disciplining Your Child…
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…er than building a case or turning against the other person, we can try to repair the situation. Repair occurs when we’re willing to let our guard down and be vulnerable. We can be honest and direct about our feelings without using language that victimizes us or blames and demonizes the other person. We can then invite the other person to do the same. We can even make the decision to unilaterally disarm, saying things like, “I care more about bein…
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…m that of the late relationship. These potential steps toward self-concept repair can help guide us through recovery. Once this self-identity has been reclaimed, we can start to mend the holes in our hearts, knowing that we are complete as individuals without the relationship to define us. For more resources on dealing with the aftermath of a breakup, be sure to check out our webinar on Overcoming Breakups and Rejection airing June 11th at psychal…
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