Search Results for: kessler/2009/11/nerf-guns-–-what-are-we-afraid-of/2009/12/1593/2009/11/your-role-in-your-childs-development/2009/11/imperfect-parenting-rupture-and-repair-by-michelle-deen

A Framework for Cultivating Integration

…eriences have affected us directly; and also by innately determined neural development processes, such as genes, epigenetic controls, and toxic exposures. In other words, neural connections are shaped by both experience and by constitution to create personality. “Personality” can be described as the proclivity to travel down certain developmental pathways that directly shape selfregulation and our emotional lives. How can one state of being, or st…

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VIDEO: Dr. Allan Schore on How to Help Children Regulate Their Emotional States

…ow focusing more and more, we’re realizing — has more to do with emotional development, social development, more so than cognitive development, etc. And especially the ability to communicate emotional states to other human beings, so that they can be interactively regulated, and that ultimately in the first year of life the growing capacity of the child to be able to now regulate their own emotional states. In the first year, the emotional states…

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trauma of racism

The Trauma of Racism

…left no doubt that early trauma, especially unresolved trauma, impacts the development of emotional regulation skills and distress tolerance. It can lead to “disrupted neurodevelopment and social, emotional and cognitive impairment.” ACEs have further been linked with all the leading causes of death, including illnesses such as heart disease, stroke, obesity, diabetes, and cancer, in addition to mental health concerns like depression, anxiety, sub…

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tantrum hunger cues

Is it the grouch monster?

Long ago when my daughter was young, we noticed moments when her personality seemed to shift on a dime. She would flip from cooperative to irritable at a speed that left us bewildered. As we tried to make sense of it we became aware that this was occurring between meals and often when we went to pick her up from preschool. Drawing on my nursing background I wondered if she may be having blood sugar drops and asked the pediatrician if she could be…

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Mr. Rogers is Right: Secure Attachment Allows for Growth After Trauma

…re children find the acceptance he’d always longed for. It made me think of 12-step meetings in which part of the healing process is helping others through peer support. Each person gains something from being of service to others. My impression is that Mr. Rogers not only explained the basis for secure attachment to many children. His neighborhood also helped him continue to heal, thrive and grow as a person. It was his own act of service. “Anythi…

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Deep Sadness Can Deepen Love

…ness is not only a fundamental part of our being human; it plays a primary role in our survival as well. Sadness is not the same as depression We often equate sadness with depression, thinking of depression as being an extreme state of sadness. Even though some of the same reactions occur in both (i.e. crying, lack of energy, grieving), these two emotional states are different from each other. Sadness is a healthy human emotion, a natural reaction…

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The Hidden Powers of Gratitude

…. Better Sleep A good night’s sleep may be a few grateful thoughts away. In 2009, researchers discovered that gratitude predicted greater subjective sleep quality and sleep duration as well as less sleep latency and daytime dysfunction in those studied. The study was noted as being the first to show that a positive trait is related to good sleep quality above the effect of other personality traits. Thus, focusing on more positive thoughts of thing…

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Why It’s Important to Break Routines

…rchers, find meaning. Certain studies have associated family routines with parenting competence and marital satisfaction. However, not all routines are created equal, and failing to examine or alter our habits can have a limiting or deadening effect on our lives. A big reason for this is that habitual behavior, by nature, can cut us off from feeling. Moving through a series of them can set us on autopilot throughout our day, which can lead us to l…

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What is Pulling Your Strings?

…we are in a heightened emotional state. So, where does this comes from? In parenting, how we parent is influenced by our history of being parented. Some of the things our parents did we honor and want to repeat. There are other aspects of how our parents responded that we might not wish to repeat. Furthermore, there are dimensions of our experience of being parented that are operating behind the scenes. This is akin to a puppet master that is pull…

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Making Sense of Your Life to Empower Your Future

…gue Dan Siegel and I have elaborated on this process, creating a series of role– plays and descriptions of the various attachment styles. We have described how these styles become internalized as expectations about the ways we will be treated by others as well as the types of responses we will elicit from them. We have also developed a series of exercises and techniques one can use to write a coherent narrative and create more inner security. Thes…

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