Search Results for: kessler/2009/11/nerf-guns-–-what-are-we-afraid-of/2009/11/nerf-guns-–-what-are-we-afraid-of/2009/11/your-role-in-your-childs-development

The Destructive Ways We Self-Parent as Adults

…n our parents or parent-figures had a much more profound impact on us. The Role of the Fantasy Bond As an infant, our parents are literally our key to survival. Their ability, or lack there of, to provide us with a sense of safety, to be attuned to our needs, and to soothe us when we were distressed created the foundation of how we see ourselves, others, and how relationships operate. The strengths and weaknesses they possessed had a powerful effe…

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gratitude

A Time to be Grateful

…defended, negative side of our personality that is opposed to our ongoing development. The voice consists of the negative thoughts, beliefs and attitudes that oppose our best interests and diminish our self-esteem. Acknowledging what you are grateful goes directly against the voice. Focusing on the positive circumstances and personal interactions that are enhancing your life weakens the voice’s attacks on you. It defuses the angry and cynical att…

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Fantasy Bond 101

…eir partner. They are drawn to being close and intimate, but they are also afraid and self-protective. People often resolve this conflict by moving away from love and establishing a fantasy bond with each other. They form an imaginary unit, and gradually substitute a fantasy of love for genuine affection and closeness. As with the original fantasy bond, the fantasy bond within the couple acts as a defense to ease anxiety and insecurity. However, t…

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Beyond the Label of “Mental Illness:” The Polarized Mind

…es of a desperate few. The increase of killing sprees, the availability of guns, the chemical imbalance of brains, and the rampant use—as well as abuse—of medications are but symptoms of a much wider problem that is rarely, if ever, addressed in media outlets, and that is the problem of psychological polarization. Psychological polarization is the elevation of one point of view to the utter exclusion of competing points of view and it pervades our…

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Dr. Sheldon Solomon on Defenses Against Death Anxiety

…the face of death. In a lively and candid style, Dr. Solomon discusses the development of Terror Management Theory, the ways in which people form defenses against death anxiety and the concept of life affirming death awareness, arguing that we can “accept the reality of the human condition and parlay that into bringing out the best in us. ” He also addresses the societal effects of death awareness, including the social nature of human beings, the…

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Personal Power by Robert Firestone, Ph.D.

…, and competence that individuals gradually acquire in the course of their development. It is self-assertion, and a natural, healthy striving for love, satisfaction and meaning in one’s interpersonal world. This type of power represents a movement toward self-realization and transcendent goals in life; its primary aim is mastery of self, not others. Personal power is more an attitude or state of mind than an attempt to maneuver or control others….

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How Embracing Vulnerability Strengthens Our Relationships

…that bring us closer. Be willing to expose your feelings. Sometimes we are afraid to expose our feelings even to ourselves. But acknowledging and accepting our feelings is an important part of being in touch with ourselves and sharing ourselves with others. A big part of strengthening our connections involves being willing to share how feel with someone else. Say what you want. As a therapist, I’ve sat in a room with so many couples who are very g…

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VIDEO: Dr. James Garbarino Talks About the Impact of the Secrecy that is Common Among Adolescent Girls in our Society

…o on. They felt that way. A large, a significant percentage said they were afraid to go to school– they were afraid of people at school, they were tormented and by and large didn’t tell their parents. Again, 10% said they realized they were lesbians and 90% said their parents didn’t know. So I think that is the place, because it’s very hard to prevent your child from using the internet. It’s very hard to prevent other girls from ganging up on them…

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7 Factors Affecting Orgasm in Women

…other and feel strange or uncomfortable when they are different from their role model.” Therefore, when a mother is held back sexually, it is very difficult for her daughter to go beyond her in terms of enjoying sexual fulfillment in her adult relationship. A woman’s guilt and fear in relation to surpassing her mother in this area are often transferred to other women in her life. Because of these feelings, women are often afraid of standing out fr…

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Preventing Teen Suicide

…don’t be afraid to ask if he or she would like to talk with you. Don’t be afraid to ask if he or she is having self-destructive thoughts. Remember that you cannot afford to keep your friend’s secret if they are at risk. You can help save a life. Resources are available that you can use to help someone you know out of a self-destructive state or a suicidal crisis. Here you can learn about the warning signs of suicide and what you can do to help sa…

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