Search Results for: kessler/2009/11/nerf-guns-–-what-are-we-afraid-of/2009/11/nerf-guns-–-what-are-we-afraid-of/2009/11/your-role-in-your-childs-development/2009/06/communicating-with-children

The Problem with Narcissistic Parents

…e high. True, it can be a good thing that parents are taking a more active role in their child’s development. Remember the very first scene of “Mad Men,” in which a typical 1960s housewife scolds her child – not for the plastic bag she’s fixed around her head, but for the dry-cleaned dress the bag had contained that must be lying on the floor somewhere? While their parents and grandparents may have suffered through a culture that viewed children a…

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Negative Feelings, Essential Signals on the Road of Life: Supporting our Children on their Path

…s. Rather than escaping or avoiding them, it is important that we help our children face their negative feelings and heed their lessons. Why not unplugging the devices? Try cooking together and making dinner a time for conversation about the day. Let your children know your stories of how you have tolerated and grown from your negative feelings. Encourage them to discuss theirs. Validate how uncomfortable it is to be embarrassed, sad, scared and f…

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Are You the Parent You Want to Be?

…hough it seems unnatural, we tend to internalize attitudes that hurt us as children, taking them on as our point of view. We not only apply these attitudes to ourselves, but to our children. If we were seen as a burden by our parents, we may view ourselves as a burden throughout our lives. Because our children come from us, negative ways we see ourselves are often further projected onto them. The critical feelings our parents had toward us are fre…

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How Your Attachment Style Affects Your Parenting

…relationships. This is why, as parents, it’s essential that we not use our children to make us feel better or loved. For the sake of our children, it is essential that we get our adult needs met by other adults. it’s important to evaluate how often we turn to our children to make us feel good within ourselves. We also need to pay attention to how much of the time we are distracted and inconsistent in how we relate or respond to our kids. Avoidant/…

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The Problem with Overpraising Children

…n for who they really are. We should also remember to be respectful of our children’s boundaries and never connect to or take credit for their accomplishments. Children need to feel a sense of independence and autonomy to truly have a feeling for their own self-worth. This sense of worth must be built on something solid. As parents, we should quietly take note of the activities that light our children up and that boost their self-esteem. We should…

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What is Your Attachment Style?

…ge to improve your close relationships and your relationship with your own children. Early Attachment Patterns Young children need to develop a relationship with at least one primary caregiver in order for their social and emotional development to occur normally. Without this attachment, they will suffer serious psychological and social impairment. During the first two years, how the parents or caregivers respond to their infants, particularly dur…

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Discipline

…y were having while they were misbehaving. Again, parents should encourage children to be specific. Suggest that children say everything that comes to mind. Remind them that all feelings are acceptable. The parent can ask the child what he/she thinks of the feelings and reactions he/she had. In hindsight, do they seem like reasonable reactions to a reasonable situation? Do they seem like over-reactions? Do they remind you of other reactions you ha…

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Benefits of Mindful Parenting

…talks about how mindfulness facilitates our ability to be present with our children. This doesn’t mean coddling our children by catering to their every whim or giving them our constant attention. What it means is letting them know that we’ll make time for them and following up in our actions. When we’re spending time with our children, we should aim to be present, putting away our devices and really listening to what they have to say. This reinfor…

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How Over-Parenting Hurts Your Children… and You

…uld surely be spoken of as a selfless act. While loving and nurturing your children is necessary to their successful growth, giving your whole life to them is not the making of an ideal parent. Parents too often lose sight of their own lives and take on their children’s lives as their own. In this process, parents forfeit essential parts of themselves, which leaves them less vital and alive as people. And the one thing that a child needs in a pare…

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A Challenge to Mothers Everywhere

…well-being and the emotional climate they create for themselves and their children is of monumental significance to the feelings of their children. These effects last well beyond childhood. The same German study mentioned above concluded that the life satisfaction of adult children, even those who have grown up, moved away and are in relationships, continues to be directly influenced by the life satisfaction of their mothers. Their research found…

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