Search Results for: kessler/2009/11/nerf-guns-–-what-are-we-afraid-of/2009/11/nerf-guns-–-what-are-we-afraid-of/2009/11/your-role-in-your-childs-development/2009/06/communicating-with-children

Nerf Guns – What Are We Afraid of? by Debra Kessler, Psy.D.

…that are available when they are overwhelmed by their distress. So what do Nerf guns have to do with this? There seems to be a belief that if we keep our children away from objects that express anger in violent or destructive ways, such as Nerf guns, our children won’t grow up to be violent or destructive. While this may seem logical, it assumes that our children are the sum total of what they are allowed/not allowed to do and dismisses the fact t…

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What History Tells Us About the Dangers of Separating Children from Parents

…ress and are not being comforted, this significantly interferes with their development. Children reared in Eastern European orphanages have shown behavioral problems, developmental and growth delays, attachment problems, and changes in the structure and function of the brain. They’ve suffered from “attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, psychiatric illnesses and bipolar disorder.” The circumstances the children w…

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Why Are So Many Parents Limited in Loving Their Children?

…d progressively fail to perceive the child correctly and encourage healthy development. 5. Having children reminds parents that time is passing and tends to increase their death anxiety. This can cause tension and even resentment in the parent and a self protective, defensive retreat from feeling that is directly or indirectly hurtful to their children. 6. Parents tend to use their children as immortality projects, a process that has a destructive…

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The Effects of Honesty, Empathy, and Higher Order Thinking on Moral Development

…positive qualities in themselves so as to have a positive effect on their children’s development. It is crucial that children see their parents treating others with respect and equality. Parents are setting an equally influential example when they value their own lives. Adults who genuinely value themselves, accept their feelings and priorities, and actively participate in their own lives allow their children to develop morally and thereby teach…

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Communication with Children

…them and allowing your kids to share their world with you. It is vital to children’s development that each one of them is related to as a real person by a real person. From the time they are born, children search the faces of their parents for genuine feeling. They cannot relate to someone who is applying childrearing techniques. Children are desperate to connect with the real people behind the parental roles. When you dispense with roles and beh…

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Remember the Kids: Easing the Adjustment of Divorce for Children

…g for the failure of your marriage, will have a devastating effect on your children. It is important to let your children know that reasons for divorce lie outside of their control, that it is an issue between you and your partner. Internalized blame can often lead to childhood depression and antisocial tendencies that can carry out through adulthood. So although you may be feeling guilty about the dissolution of your marriage, remember to never d…

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Raise an Emotionally Healthy Child

…e must be accountable: we have to live up to our word in order to gain our children’s trust. If we invite our children to talk to us honestly, then are defensive or erratic in our responses, we give them very good reasons NOT to tell us what’s really going on in their lives. For example, a friend of mine noticed his 6-yeard-old son acting oddly angry and rebellious at the dinner table. Doing his best to react sensitively, he took the boy aside and…

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The Over-Parenting Syndrome

…nto the next generation. Parents who have formed a fantasy bond with their children also believe that children “belong” to their biological parents in the proprietary sense of the word. The imagined union with their child, in conjunction with this feeling of ownership, provides mothers and fathers with a false sense of safety, security, certainty and permanence. The Catch-22 is that in order to sustain this illusion of fusion in our everyday lives…

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“Stuck” A life lesson on parenting by Debra Kessler, Psy.D.

…depression, autism/Asperger’s syndrome, ADHD, learning challenges, regulatory difficulties and other issues that interfere with children reaching their potential. Other Posts by This Author: Nerf Guns – What Are We Afraid Of? We Attend to our Children’s Overbite, How about Challenges in their Learning? More—- To Learn More Visit drdebrakessler.com…

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Your Role in Your Child’s Development

…ndex.html http://www.kidsgrowth.com/stages/guide/index.cfm http://www.childdevelopmentinfo.com/development/erickson.shtml http://www.lhj.com/relationships/family/raising-kids/ Your Journey It is important to be aware that it is not only the children who go through transitions and adjustments during the growing up process. The maturation process also challenges parents to adjust and evolve as caregivers at each stage of the child’s development. Bot…

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