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Isolation and Loneliness

isolation and loneliness“Why Do I Feel Isolated?” How to Understand and Overcome Loneliness and Isolation

Human beings are naturally social animals. When we find ourselves becoming isolated, we should take that as a warning sign that we are turned against ourselves in some basicway. If not already there, we are on a path toward feeling bad, lonely, introverted or even depressed.

Why We Start Feeling Isolated

When we start feeling isolated, we may have thoughts of not belonging or of feeling rejected by others. What we overlook, however, is that when we are alone, we are often in the company of our worst enemy- the onewithin ourselves. An isolated space is the perfect breeding ground for negative, self-critical thoughts. These thought patterns make up the “critical inner voice (CIV),” an internalized enemy that leads to self-destructive thought processes and behaviors. This inner critic feeds into our feelings of isolation, encouraging us to avoid others and remain in a lonely state.

How to Cope with with Feeling Alone

Feeling lonely can trigger voices that we are unloved or unlikeable. These reflect a hostile and unfriendly point of view toward yourself. Treat these voices like they were coming from an external enemy, and do not tolerate them. Literally tell them to go away and that you refuse to buy into their destructive message. It is important to always act against any thoughts that people don’t like you. Are there ways you act that are based on what your voices tell you? For example, do you attack yourself for being “awkward” or “creepy” and then act quiet in a group of people? Then does your voice turn around and criticize you for acting that way?

Your critical inner voice can generate self-fulfilling prophecies. It will try to keep you from challenging yourself, then stab you in the back for avoiding taking action. Your CIV will almost always try to prevent you from struggling through uncomfortable situations and ultimatelyfeeling at ease withyourself. When you challenge your voices, don’t be surprised if they temporarily become stronger. Remember that if you are persistent in countering your attacks, they will ultimately become weaker and even go away altogether.  You may still hear them,but they will feel less intimidating and have less power over you.

How the Critical Inner Voice Leads Us to Feel Lonely and Isolatedinner critic ecourse CIV

When it feelings of comes to isolation, the voice can be an especially complicated and strategic enemy. Sometimes, it will lure us into being alone with comforting-seeming thoughts (“Just go home and spend some time by yourself. You enjoy being on your own.”). At other times, when we start feeling alone, it will viciously attack us (“No one wants you around. They don’t like you. Just stay away from everyone!”) These cruel directives are not based on reality but on the agenda of a self-destructive point of view we’ve taken on based on early life experiences. Think about how much of your negative feelings about yourself came from how you felt as kid?  Did you often feel isolated or rejected, unseen or misunderstood? Did you spend time on your own, feeling alone in your family or at school?

Overcoming Feelings of Isolation

No matter what their source, voices that you are unlikeable are much harder to accept when you’re around people who like you. When we hear these attacks,  it is vital that we do not allow them to manipulate our behavior. Acknowledge your feelings of loneliness and isolation without judgment, saying to yourself “I feel isolated right now, so I am not going to give in to my critical inner voice.” Make your actions meet your words and don’t put yourself in an isolated situation. Go out in public. Our brains do not respond positively to seclusion. Place yourself in social settings and interactions, even if you are among strangers. If you feel shy in public, try going online. Interacting on the Internetmay be a good first step in giving you the confidence to express yourself.

Society can breed a lot of  loneliness. Feelings of isolation are extremely common. Separations, divorces along withthe loss of our jobs, our social networks and loved ones can leave any one of us feeling alone. Even shuffling through a crowded street or scrunched together on a subway, one can wind up feeling alone – with no onemaking eye contact or exchanging asmile. Still, it is better for us on every level to get out and be among people and to never allow our voices to make us cynical toward ourselves or others. You are not alone in the world or in your feelings.

One of the best actions we can take to counteract the hopelessness we may feel is to think outside of ourselves. Believe beyond all doubt that you have something to offer. Volunteering is a great exercise in thinking outside yourself and often gives you the opportunity to connect with new people. Even little acts of generosity can have a significant impact. Generosity, as a principle, can lead to stronger self-esteem, which then leads to more social behavior.

If you are feeling isolated and may be experiencing symptoms of depression, here are some helpful resources:

National Institute of Mental Health – Depression
Depression.com
WebMD – Depression
Helpguide.org – Depression
Depression-Screening.org

GET HELP: IF YOU OR SOMEONE YOU KNOW IS IN CRISIS OR IN NEED OF IMMEDIATE HELP, CALL 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
This is a free hotline available 24 hours a day to anyone in emotional distress or suicidal crisis.

International readers can click here for a list of helplines and crisis centers around the world.

131 comments

  1. Thank you for these informations. I become isolated and loniless. I search solutions.

  2. This is a great article about isolation and loneliness, very informative, thank you for posting it.

  3. Thankyou so much for what you do X

  4. I am home alone and it is night. I have no where to go at the moment and no one to really be around. I can’t sleep I just feel sad and trying to sleep isn’t working. I’m just lonely I guess it will pass. I actuely am popular and have great friends who love me but I still feel alone.

    • I’m completely with you!! Everyone who meets and hangs with me says I’m cool or funny…but most of the time I don’t feel that way at all. Apparently I’m very good-looking…but I don’t feel that way either. It’s been like this my whole life and I’m in my 40’s now. I can be in a crowd with a pretty girl hanging on my every word and still feel alone, awkward and unwanted….after all these years I still don’t get it. I isolate a lot, I hardly keep in touch with anyone and the ones I do it’s very superficial. When I was younger I had a hundred one night stands when all I wanted was one love…but I ran away every time. The bottom line is that I just don’t feel worthy.

      • Hi John, Your post sounds exactly like me, except in the male form.

      • Why did you have to mention pretty girl? This is part of the problem. Why do people have to be pretty

      • Sorry I am very lonely and isolated and I used to be pretty but not anymore

      • Hey John, I think we would both be surprised to hear just how many others feel this at one time or another. We sound like we may have some shared experience here. I wonder if these feelings are a call from the universe to dig deep and attune with our inner selves. It has been said if there is a feeling sit with it quietly, breath through it and listen don’t run from it. I think much can be learnt if we do this. Mindfulness has really helped me. Happy seeking John from a similar soul.

        • Hi,well I’m a 44 yr old housewife with 11 children,so how can I be lonely?? Well my husband is a truckdriver of 3 yes and its 4 kids at home,I’m use to us all being together but everyone’s getting married and the son and daughter in laws allllllll seem to be so jealous of how close we are so I back off I want them happy as I was.or am?? I always thought my husband went on road to run from his responsibilities but after a trip on road with him I now believe he’s truley driving to help financially!!how can I have so much luv yet be so lonely.i m also the oldest of 15!!!!I luv being needed and stressed cause no one seems to need me anymore I’m a very strong woman.but I need to learn how to find self and be alone…its hard

      • I think you should embrace the things you like to do. Great way of finding one’s self-worth! Spend some quality time with yourself, or take up some hobby you used to like but haven’t done in years. Or challenge yourself in new ways – learn something new, step outside your comfort zone. Those kind of things may feel awkward at first, but generally boosts your self image and confidence after a little while! :)

      • Hi John,

        Your feeling almost same like what I am having. I am the only child in the family and I was feeling lonely since from my childhood days, but it was disappeared when I was at my 25 to 34 but it is coming again in my life and feeling worst now. Having with some friends or with hubby but still feeling lonely and incomplete. Fearing about future is making me worst like how could I stand this feeling at my elderly age later since I am feeling that lonely at my late 30 now. Visiting friends home made me more lonely and feeling incomplete…as they have kids and their life is completed with family charm while I felt like I don’t have. As you mentioned, I hardly make calls to freinds and relative but it is superfacial, I know my self and I am forcing to make a call but it really don’t work. I am trying to be more connected with friends where my somewhat inside of me is reminding but in reality I don’t really like to do so and still makes no different.. :(. At least good to know that there are many people feeling same like me in this world.

        • Sandy, mine is the same story as yours but I’m only 26. I was always a loner at school. Not that I never had any friend but I never wanted to be with them all the time. However, at home I used to be a very naughty and fun-loving kid, popular with all of my 27 cousins. But that was until I got married 5 years back. There’s no one at my husband’s place apart from me, my husband & my mother-in-law. And I feel really lonely and I crave to go back to my days before marriage. After 5 years, I still don’t have a kid although I was the first one among my friends to get married. I don’t even feel like calling my mom or my best friend and when I have to visit someone’s home, I fright the thought.

        • Hi well I’m the oldest of 15 with 11 kids a mom grandma and lots of aunts cousins and uncles.I’m still lonely inside.II’ thinks it oneself we gotta be OK with ourselves!!!

    • I know exactly what you mean. I have great friends they are like my brothers. In fact as i write this I’ve just came back from chilling with them and a few other close friends… I guess i don’t really have a reason to be lonely, but sometimes i just get lonely.. It’s weird… I feel like i wanna cry.. But its a good cry.. I hope this makes sense :/

  5. I feel so lonely. I am going thru so much. I have no car due to waiting for my bankrupsy to be discharged. I did everything right and there was no dispute. I need a car. Tomorrow is my birthday and no one remembered it and my kids seem hopeless most of the time. If i dont visit them, i dont see them for weeks and they live close by. I wishi could just move and go somewhere i could meet new ppl and never look back at my lousy family.

    • Linda omg I feel just the way you do. I want to run away but I can’t

    • I feel the same leaving here going some place new meet new friends and start over buy feel trapped I’m getting fat sad and safer everyday i want to do things but can’t face them even walking out side to walk to the shops is stressing and think I can’t go because I’m all alone

      • I feel you. Me too, left the man i love because of mental, emotional abusive. Unloved and tremendios degregstion day in and out. With hid friends, family and strangerd who told him, he shoild not talk that way about your wife and avoided him.
        Since i did not have the courage and strenght to leave him, as every one told me over and over that i deserve better and can do better. My children took me away and desided it is time they take care of their mother. And here i am being loved and care for. Missing him and dont want him at the same time after being with him for 18 yrs.
        Almost 2 yrs now. Am lonely, sad depress and yearning to be in the arms of a msn, which have yet to do. I am a beautifull pracefull new city. The part i live it is upscsle. No one around to interact with. I forve my self to go for walk, it is so desolate i feel like what jail inmate say to one going for execution “dead man walking.
        Working on self help via internet information.
        I stop.talking now too much more negative information, i could talk all day not repeat a word.

    • I understand you Michelle. I came from Europe to US. Prior to coming to US I was struggling, maybe more than you do, but now even if I have everything that I ever wanted I still feel alone. I have a husband who loves me and a little girl but I still need friends, true friends with whom to do things. So, like you I thought that having everything will make me happy but I am not, at least not always. We need this balance, financial security, family who loves us but also friends. if one of these is missing it’s not working. Plus, in today’s world people are so isolated, everyone’s minding their own business, as people said it here it feels very superficial even when you go out with someone. I had the chance to experience a different life style in Europe. I miss people caring about you, getting together with cousins, neighbors coming to your house and looking in your fridge or borrowing things. But when I was there all I needed was to have financial security. I thought that this could make you happy but is not like that. We need all of it to be happy. I live for my little girl and I really hope that she will not be like me. my heart breaks thinking that she might feel the same. I am hesitating to talk to strangers and if someone talks to me I stay away. I became to trust no one and I am thinking that I am just not clicking with anyone and it’s my fault. and meanwhile my life passes and I feel that is so empty of emotions. Hang in there Michelle and try to find your hope somewhere to help you feel a little better. this is what I do now on this website. looking for solutions on how to improve my life quality. I feel better that I am not alone feeling like this even if this might sound cruel. I genuinely want happiness for all the people in the world.

      • … Alina I am completely in the same situation you are in. I moved 3 years ago from my hometown to the US and it was extremely difficult. Making friends here is just not a natural thing to do. I am not sure if it’s me who build high walls, or have high standards… I just think I can’t invest in superficial relationships. I tried so many times to get closer to people in the U.S. but the most people can do is a cup of coffee once every two months… and then never hear from them again. I came to realize that even thought I ran from my problems back home, I didn’t feel this isolated. I had friends I trusted and loved, people who cared about me… my family issues are never ending because of my sexuality, and when I decided to come out hell let lose.. I know leaving was the best thing I ever did… but yet.. why does it feel lonely and isolated…? is the way to the truth that dark? A lot of people tell me it has to come from within.. I honestly can tell you because I started relying on myself .. I thought why do I need people? I have an extreme trust issues… and I need to overcome it.. I don’t believe in therapy.. I just think I need friends and a life that has meaning …

    • I love all of u becuz we are all experiencing the same feelings. The root cause of it all is fear and lack of love. So if we can get eliminate fear and hear the phrase “i love u” on a consistent basis then we all shall be ok, okay?

  6. I have a chronic illness that has required me to file SSD.I got approved and it has hit me like I have been sentenced to life in prison.I had a HUGE social network.The few times I have gone out in the past 3 yrs I feel like a fraud because you can not look at me and tell I have a chronic disease.So I hide and die a little more each day.

    • I understand you

    • I have a chronic illness too. I’ve suffered with it for the last ten years and it can be incredibly isolating. The worst is the judgment from friends and family who don’t understand why I ‘don’t just xyz’.
      So, I get it, I really do. You are not alone. :)

    • @Whitney – OMG I am going through the same thing and have no family. I was always independent financially and the illness ruined me. From the outside I had it all, but on the inside I never did.

  7. I always feel like I’m the awkward misfit when at work or around groups of people. I feel like I need that one person I could talk to that relates to me

  8. This was very helpful i wont lie i was on the verge of suicided i thought things would never change and that i couldnt talk to anyone cause they didnt understand me but reading this has given me hope on life again

    • glad you did that. It happened to me too but God gave me hope. I swear, hope saves you from anything, you just need to find it.

    • @Cj Major hugs to you hun. You hang onto that hope forever. If you don’t find spiritual satisfaction then get your hope from here or a clock! It could even be a happy memory, even tho I know those are hard to think of at times like this. Deepak Chopra has a saying I like “Every time you are tempted to react n the same old way, ask yourself if you want to be a prisoner of the past or…a pioneer of the future.”

  9. I am a mum of 3 with a lovely husband who is as understanding as is possible yet I feel so isolated and that I have no place in the world, it’s like a desperate longing to feel I am worth something – not as a mother or a partner or lover but as my own unique self.. Yet everytime I try to follow a dream I sabotage myself or things simply just don’t go my way and I descend deeper into my depression as a confirmation of my worthlessness.

    • Hi Claire
      I totally know how you feel except from a stay at home dad with 3 children point of view. I wasnt the most social person even before I had kids. My wife and I dont really have any personal friends. (my wife works) Through the christmas break has being tough and now feeling pretty isolated and feeling unworthy. Being a stay at home is tough even though I go to childrens playgroups its not like I get real close to other mums as being a guy theirs a line that is drawn. My wife wants me to go back to work to get back my self confidence mainly and well extra income as well even though we wouldnt get any further ahead as children daycare costs etc. but everytime I try to motivate myself I procrastinate then feelings of being useless creep in and Im not good enough, then I get depressed and you the story. Eventually it will happen though, I try an remain optimistic.

      • Hi Dawson. Have you thought of part time work? Or volunteering? You really need some guy friends which is hard to do when you are stay at home dad. Even if there are extra costs associated with childcare, your mental health is worth more. Or perhaps you can trade with a mother of the classmates where you look after her kids one day and she does the next. I’m sure a mother would welcome a few hours of peace & quiet. Baby steps huh. Just baby steps.

    • wow… and when I thought that I am the only one feeling like this. same here, only my husband is telling me that it is all in my head and I should go do things. so many times I plan to sign up for some mom’s club or do something that will get me out of isolation, yet, I always end up staying home and burned up by the end of the day. then my husband comes from work, tired, (he is a pretty quiet person ) and there it goes, no one to talk to at home either. sometimes I take my frustration on him. I tell him that I always have to fish the words out of him. I am so tired of feeling like this :( that’s why I am here, looking for solutions. I want so much a better life quality. for my little girl, I don’t want to be a depressed mom. I want her to be happy with me and not inherit this behavior from me.

      • {{{{alina}}}}, I bet there are so many moms who feel just like you do. Where do you live? Sometimes men and/or husbands say stupid things like ‘all in your head’ b/c they don’t know what to do or say. Men like to fix things, solution oriented. But if they don’t have solution then they don’t want to see the problem. Even so, he can’t be all things all the time. That would be unfair burden. You have luxury of not having to work (or maybe you would like to work?) so that suggests it is your depression holding you back, not your husband. Have you tried any AD’s? They have been life saver for me especially since I have worsening chronic illness. Like Dawson and all of us, baby steps. And don’t worry if some days they don’t come. Next day, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and try again. There are no rules or failures.

  10. Thank you for this!! Thank you so much.

  11. Like a lot of people here, I feel chronically isolated and lonely. I’m at home, with nowhere to go right now. I am 27, single, no friends and unemployed. I’ve had past experiences of bullying, rejection and ostracism (even at work). It’s easy to say when you’re lonely, hang out with friends. But some of us just don’t have any, and after being alone for so long, I feel socially disadvantaged, like its hard to connect with anyone now and even have a conversation, and new people don’t really care for me either way..

  12. I don’t just feel isolated, I am chronically lonely. I don’t even know what to do anymore. Any conversation I have with strangers or family is brief and superficial. I posted a comment here, earlier, reaching out for help but my message was excluded.

    • Jina @ PsychAlive.org

      Thank you for reaching out. We know it takes courage to reach out when you’re in distress, but it can be the first step to feeling better.

      It is painful to hear that you are feeling so lonely and that you feel as though you don’t know what to do anymore. When we feel isolated and alone, we often turn against ourselves, which makes it difficult to reach out and break the pattern of loneliness. However, if you are feeling alone, reaching out to any friends and family (even by phone or online) can help to break that pattern. I understand that this feels very difficult to do. Even making new friends in online discussion forums can help you feel more connected to others, especially if they share similar interests. Some people find that they feel better being around other people, even just reading a book or going online in a coffee shop can feel less isolating than being at home alone. Dr. Lisa Firestone suggests that individuals who feel chronically isolated participate in volunteer work, because reaching out to others has many benefits for mental health, including helping people feel less isolated and alone.

      Many people have found therapy to be incredibly helpful. If you are interested in pursuing therapy, here is good resource to help locate a therapist in your area.

      If you need someone to talk to you can always call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255). The call is free and confidential and counselors are available 24/7. You do not have to be suicidal in order to call the Lifeline.

      Also, if you are feeling depressed, I encourage you to read this article on 8 Ways to Actively Fight Depression.

      Thank you again for reaching out.

    • Hi CJ
      please don’t feel like this. I know it is very tough. try to reach out to family at least, if you have any. I have a sister and even she is far away from me I talk to her on skype and she always encourages me. by reading these testimonials, you and I are not alone and this make me feel a little better. I know it’s hard but, hey, here you have someone who associates with you, feels your pain. Please don’t give up and look for hope. This is what I do, I want to find peace, and be strong for my little girl. I know, I feel the same. every time I go out with “friends” I feel that it is very superficial so I already lost hope in finding a true friend here. at least for now. but I want to find personal satisfaction in doing something else. try to do the same. maybe volunteer, or do some hobby ( I like drawing, it relaxes me so much) or join some clubs, or go to church. these are my intentions now, hopefully I will follow through this time because I can’t take it anymore. take care and try to be strong.

    • Hey CJ
      I understand your struggle buddy.
      I am also an only child.
      I am actually also 27.
      The older I get.. the more I come to realize that people with no siblings are forced to live a walk of solitude that those with siblings could never understand unless they lost their siblings.
      I feel you.
      Rainer Maria Rilke once said that to confront our solitude is very difficult.
      For something to be so difficult is one more reason for us to do it.
      The benefits of doing something we would rather not or fear doing can be vast in self accomplishment.
      Even if it is something as hard as spendin your time with yourself.
      I hope this message makes it to you in time brother.
      The stream of consciousness that runs throughout all of us is strong in me.
      And I want you to know that god or the universe or what have you wouldn’t have me wanting to reach back to you so badly if you weren’t likable. Or if your life had no purpose.
      I’m a complete stranger to you.
      Yet I love you. ;)
      “Love is but the discovery of ourselves in others.. and the delight in the recognition”
      Much love to you and anyone else reading this who is experiencing the same gut-wrenching solitude that I have experienced, and continue to feel everyday.

      -Gil

      • Hi Gil,
        My son is an only child and I am worried sick. I have family but they can care less about me and my son. It sucks so bad. We are always alone. He wont have anyone when he’s older. Someone please help me. I am suffering everyday and don’t know what to do.

  13. I feel very lonely for no reason I have been having social anixiety I saw a few people on the city bus and became very shy some people think I’m stupid and I try to hard to fit

    • Hey, I feel exactly like u. Actually I also suffer from social anxiety and am on a mental health care plan. And I also feel extremely lonely, and right now i am crying even while lying beside my best friend who is already asleep… I have always since a child also feel very depressed when I can’t sleep but everyone around me is already sleeping, it makes me feel hopeless and panicky. I don’t know how to calm racing thoughts when I’m out. We saw a friend today, and I could not stop feeling afraid and acting like I’m stupid. I feel stupid a lot… And i feel like people think i might be stupid but are just trying to be nice. I feel super sad right now… I really want someone to talk to, and to love. My best friend loves me, but we were together once and sometimes it still breaks my heart inside that we can only be just friends now, and i feel so attracted to her tonight, but all she said to me was please dont make yourself intentionally miserable, i have to get up early tomorrow for work u do love you… I csnt stop feeling so hopeless… :(

  14. Great site. totally puts everything in perspective.

  15. I’m currently studying abroad and its been a few months now. Since January, my sleeping pattern has gone all wrong, I sleep late at night and end up waking up at 4pm. I have been feeling very lonely and its like my mind is not looking forward to the next day so I just sleep it away. I feel sad soon after because I realise I’ve wasted my whole day. With the few hours of day I have left I go on youtube to watch some videos. I know its a form of escapism, but I just haven’t found anyone I can relate to. Plus the language barrier doesn’t help. And since my mind is still somewhat active, I end up sleeping very late. It’s just one vicious cycle everyday, everytime, and I have no-one I can talk to :(

    • i feel just the same as you do. i am also studying abroad and feeling lonely and can’t organize my day. And felling nervous of wasting the whole day because i sleep late. maybe we can help each others ;)

      • I am also on an exchange and experiencing strong feelings of isolation and like nobody is ‘on my level’.. Just now I watched a video that started making me ball my eyes out (it was about a guy who lost his wife after 70-odd years) and that just triggered a whole lot more crying, proper chest heaving/aching stuff. I don’t normally cry like that. I feel this constant source of insecurity and panic that I’m not going to be successful in the future (in my own definition, which just means being happy). I know uncertainty is a reality for everyone, but it really shook me just now.
        I constantly feel unworthy to be in this position and often feel like the outcast in social situations. I am always awkwardly self-deprecating myself and blurting out my worries/thoughts/dramas to people and then feel stupid for doing it afterwards. But when I’m nervous in a social situation my main concern is to keep talking, not relax and be present and think calm and evenly about what I’m saying. All this social anxiety/feeling of isolation is exacerbated by the fact that I’m in a foreign country, whose language I do not speak, but it’s also stuff I’ve used alcohol and drugs to forget about in my normal life back home. I feel especially bad tonight because I’ve been hating on myself, in fear I’ve put on weight and am going to put on more – I find it so hard to motivate myself to exercise though (and I’m an incredibly chronic procrastinator. I have mastered the art). I had an eating disorder (bulimia) in varying degrees of severity (sometimes not for a couple months, but I would be taking a lot of drugs) for 5 years, but that ended about 18months ago. I’m really worried though because I’ve self-induced vomiting twice in about 10 days (including today) and I’m scared I’m going to fall back into old habits. Not having drugs and alcohol and turning to this old form of self-abuse is making me think I legitimately have a mental health issue that I need to talk to someone about. I wish I could access a counselling service here like back home! In the meantime I hope this post acts as a cathartic practise and I know I need to start meditating and building up my self-worth (third chakra or whatever you want to call it). Hopefully then I will feel more comfortable with myself and stop worrying all the time!
        Thanks for reading if you got this far!

        • Jina @ PsychAlive.org

          I am sorry that you have been experiencing such strong feelings of isolation. It sounds like you have overcome a lot, like breaking your self-abuse with drugs and alcohol. It would be great to find some form of therapeutic support while you are on your exchange. This website can help you locate a therapist internationally: http://www.therapistlocator.net/ You could also email Jo@samaritans.org if you are feeling depressed and need someone to talk to.

  16. I wake up in the late afternoon till the early morning. Since I was a child I have lived with guys, and I’m the only girl. Before I lived with my 2 brothers, my uncle, and grandpa. Whenever I fought with my bros, I can’t defeat them because I’m too weak. I’m basically feeling inferior. Especially when my brothers go out to have fun, and comes back for how many days without permission, they were never scolded. As a girl, I told them where I was going, and it was 8 at night, they called my friends parents to ask them where I was. I was greatly humiliated at school. It was unfair for me. It felt like I had no freedom. Now that me and my 2 bros moved to where our parents are, I got closer to my brothers.

    Still, when I thought that finally there would be another woman in the household that I’m actually living with… well, turns out my mother has a live-in Job. My physical appearance change drastically… I gained 50 pounds, and gained pimples because of puberty. I felt more insecure and lonely also because of the fact that I don’t talk personal stuff with my brothers… because they are guys.

    I have friends that are girls too, and I share some of my personal stuff to them. but for some reason… the fact that they are not my real sister, and they don’t live with me and my family like a real sibling. I still feel lonely and depressed.

    Whenever my brothers or father invite a guy to our house, I feel isolated. I’m always alone in my dark room, and I could hear their voices which makes me more depressed. When my brother goes out to drink with guys friends, he would invite my other brother, but of course since I was a girl, and the youngest… I was never invited.

    I started cutting myself out of boredom. It helps me suppress my urge to want something, and cry because of some food I want to eat that I will never get (for example). Whenever I’m alone, taking a bath or in my room. I talk to myself, laugh by myself, I let out my emotions silently that nobody will ever notice. Then, as it continued, I hear my self thinking about bad stuff. Thinking about doing something bad to my good friends, and to strangers or characters I just made up in my mind. When my oldest brother saw the cuts, he looked at me like I was some fuckin devil. I tried my best to hide it, and when I saw how he looked at me. I was deeply sad and depressed. I hated everything. I’m a believer of Christ, but I doubt too many stuff. I hate the fact that I can say I love and believe in Christ, when in fact I’m just being the worst hypocrite. I don’t pray much anymore… I have vision in the future for Christ. It’s still there. but I’m not motivated to do anything about my future.

    I always ask God… especially, when we had bible study, I was still the only girl at first.. then only 3 girls out of 13 people showed up. It’s hard, and I feel like I’m being isolated. I want to cut myself right now, but there are visitors… so maybe later.

    I’m an introvert… I don’t like mornings… Boredom kills me. I feel lonely…

    • Jina @ PsychAlive.org

      We read your comment and know it takes courage to reach out when you are in distress. Often when we feel isolated, we turn against ourselves and find it difficult to reach out for help. However, we want you to know that help is available and there is hope. PsychAlive is not a counseling site, but we can offer resources where you can get assistance 24 hours per day. If you are in the U.S., the National Helpline at 800-273 TALK (8255) or visit the Helpline website to online chat. http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ If you live in another country, you can email jo@samaritans.org and visit the Samaritans website for help. It is especially important to reach out when you are feeling isolated and have the desire to harm yourself. We hope that you remain safe and continue to reach out. Please do not do anything to hurt yourself.

      • MY CRICAL INNER VOICE TOOK OVER AND HAS WON CONTROL.

        • wow…i cant tell if your joking around or not but thats just messed up. what i read actually helped me a bit to understand that i am depressed and alone. i denied it all my life that i wasnt and here it is right in my face. i feel like i have no friends or anyone i can trust. only people i do trust is my family and im glad they are there for me. i love them and they love me.thats whats keeping me up.they tried their hardest to hlep me and what do i give them in return?nothing. i feel like im a disappointment sometimes but hey i feel like im not. ive actualy set a goal in my life, thats to join the army and hopefuly i can meet some people and become friends with them. i think that joining the army will make my parents proud of me, my fmaily proud of me.im a drop out, i got my ged but i dont think thats good enough. so my goal is to finish basic training and make my family proud and maybe some day find a girl that willl love me and i would love her…but being socialy awkward makes it tough. i see lots of cute girls that i walk past but i never have the courage to ask them out or anything. its not like im ugly or anything like that its just..hard..i dont know if anyone can understand me about that…girls at my ged classes thought i was cute… or so i think because they would smile and not have that ewww why you talking to me face. know what i mean? lol… but if you really arent joking around there are..hotlines or something that can hlep you out and disregard this post if you are. thank you for reading this post for whoever did and yeah… BYE! keep your head up, set up goals in life and if you cant…idk dream big :)

        • Jina @ PsychAlive.org

          If you feel your Critical Inner Voice has taken you over, you may benefit from seeking professional help. You can find a therapist at http://locator.apa.org/, or call the National Helpline at 800-273 TALK (8255), or visit the Helpline website to online chat: http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ You do not have to be suicidal to call the Helpline.

        • Hi Aaron, what do you meaning your critical inner voice has taken over and WON?? please tell me a bit about whats going on for you to see if I can help!

  17. This helped a lot. It is amazing to see how many people face this loneliness syndrome. I for example have felt very lonely for years despite having a family and kids. But I never wanted them to solve my problems. I am separated now living in another state and when I go out, 99.9% of the time I am alone. I look good, exercise, eat right, have a job, am 50 now and it seems like I am out of touch with everyone else. I find it hard to meet people that have things in common with me now. Reaching to younger people and especially the opposite sex is a big waste of time and effort because I think they now see me as old even though I have no grey hair or look older than my age. In fact I look younger and energetic. I don’t smoke, dont do drugs, am fit, etc. I did start feeling like I don’t matter at all. I see everyone with friends, girlfriends, wives, all hanging out and I am the only person out there with nobody to hang out with despite several meetup tries. I thought that God just made me different than everybody else and not meant to have friends or company after work or on weekends. I spend a lot of time alone and live alone.
    Part of me thinks that maybe evil surrounds us to make us feel terrible and that we have to break this thinking pattern and start believing that God can work miracles in our lives and changes these feelings of self-destruction. Maybe all those other people have friends because they don’t spend their entire day talking negative about life and about their own selves.
    Today I have decided to follow the article’s advice and end the negative self-talk. Then I am going to accept being lonely and won’t engage in self-destructive, self-pity behavior. I am going to work out more and build my body stronger and work on my mind so it is stronger. Joining a church might help too.

    I think that all evil feelings must come from evil and all good feelings must come from God. So why waste my life away feeling sorry for myself? Worst comes to worst, I will just become my own very best friend. Some very old people seem to have a handle on this and feel happy even at their old age so why should I be in self-pity mode all the time? No more. Today I will change for the better and never look back.
    Best of luck to all of us lonely people who feel weird among other people. We are one. We are not alone. – Lonely guy in las vegas, NV.

    • I am similar to you only alot younger. It is so painful

    • Nicely stated Sir. You seem to have a handle on it and I so glad to hear it as I relate so well to what you have said and if you look at my comments you’ll see this is so and I wrote before I read yours. Good for you and I wish you the best going forward. We can ever completely escape the negative or isolated thoughts that occasionally rush up on us that we are lonely. But…..each day we are given the gift of life and I think that is what the old people you refer to understand. Last summer I had two butterflies who apparently had taken up residence in my backyard somewhere. I would see them almost daily running around the couple of hundred square feet. I’d read on my patio and look up and see them constantly. I tell you if given the choice between a backyard full of meaningless conversation amongst people I might not necessarily care for (and I was in that very scenario many times with ex’s friends, good people but not my cup of tea) and watching those two butterflies while I enjoyed a sunny day out in back of the house I’d take that every time. Best of luck to you.

    • WOW JustMe, I think you got it! Please check in and share how you are doing. I need to do as you are but can’t wrap my head around it. I know I am allowing little things and annoying people get to me, but maybe it is a good thing. I have such pent-up emotion, I need to release it before I explode. So I am trying to look at it as positive. On the other hand, I may only be fooling myself. I sure hope not!

  18. This article is utter crap.
    If you have a condition such as Asperger’s (not a single mention in the article) loneliness is a hallmark of the syndrome, consequently ALL of the advice on this page is irreverent, inaccurate & amateurish.
    Co-morbid (at least in my case) with Asperger’s is “usually” alexithymia,, &/or solipsism. these last two ‘states’ make connections to others IMPOSSIBLE. The natural bonding is just not there. As a result my loneliness is real & physical not just some “critical inner voice” bullshit.

    Did the author stop to consider the poor advice contained in this article? The words may work for people who like to pretend they are lonely, but you have NEVER experienced real loneliness unless you have solipsism.
    This article should come with a warning.

    • Excuse me “Pretend they are lonely” who are you judge anyones experiences or feelings? Are you an expert or a Doctor? Stupid comments like that are the reason why these problems go unresolved. How dare you judge anyone elses feelings.. just because you found a name for your condition and probably went to a doctor dosent mean anyone elses experiences are bullshit or pretend.
      Learn to have an open mind and heart and know that no one is right or wrong in there experiences.

    • Andy, I think you are a tad harsh. I know a little bit about Asperger but not enough to totally understand the isolation you must be feeling. But on the other hand, people can feel lonely, or depressed, or both w/o having Asperger’s as well. There are no requirements or specific place one must be on the mental health scale to feel lonely & depressed. They are feelings and EVERYONE is entitled to their own feelings. I’m sorry you are having such a tough time with yours. I know it can’t be easy.

      • I agree.
        I wasn’t saying that others do not have loneliness, what am I am trying to express is that loneliness is qualitatively different depending on the person. There is loneliness that is the result of being isolated from other, and there is loneliness which is the result of being separate from the self. This second state is irreparable and cannot be undone by social contact. I posit that this second state is far worse than the former.

  19. Wow ! I am so glad to see this topic of discussion I have a critical inner voice not often representative of what is happening in reality, though sometimes these thoughts happen when a situation happens where it triggers me to question my self worth. I am 26, living with my parents because I can’t find a job, really want a girlfriend, and have friends but they are mostly friends from hs and we only get together a few times a year, I have one acquaintance from my church but other than that I feel alone. First off I really want a girlfriend and too get laid more often. I am 26, tall and told I’m very handsome even that’s should model as well as I have light brown hair, clean shaven and I exercise, go to the gym and run and I am a vegetarian. I also am Catholic and go to church am involved at my church but the parishioners are older and I have not met anyone. I have had sex in midlife and had a girlfriend a few yrs ago. For some reason I get these irrational thoughts that I’m ugly, fat and no one finds me attractive even though I’ve been Told I’m attractive and told I’m in good shape and women do smile at me sometimes. One of my worst fears is that I will be either living alone my whole life without ever meeting someone again or having sex again, or that ill still be living with my parents when I’m 50. I used to be painfully shy with women and im trying to overcome that by making eye contact and at places like the gym or coffee hour after mass making conversation, but I do get nervous when an attractive woman is around me as negative thought after negative thought fires up, that she thinks im ugly, desperate, gay , a rapist, stalker and from an outsiders view this would seem ridiculous and unreasonable. But inside my own head I start to get anxiety and these thoughts go. I also have a lot of jealousy issues. I am jealous when I am going about my business and see happy couples making out, holding hands and I’m alone, it’s the worst feeling in the world and I feel worthless, unattractive everything. People would never assume I had these thoughts of inadequacy and depression and thoughts of suicide, because on the outside I present a happy go lucky, confident attractive guy, but on the inside I feel lonely, depressed and some times like what’s the point in me living. Even though I know I could not commit such a horrible sin as my Faith guides me not too and I would not put that sadness on my parents who love me and friends and people at church. I am vain and I pray GOD gets rid of that sin as I hate it but I am extremely concerned about my appearance , my weight how I look. I feel sad because I want a relationship and I don’t drink but sometimes go to bars to try and meet women and it’s hard for me to ask them outbursts dance and I get extremely jealous when another guy takes the woman I wanted. At church I like some of the people but I feel inadequate because it’s an older clicking congregation and I feel like an outsider because these people are fromn richer backgrounds and have their lives together and when I try and engage them I feel like they are not interested in talking or getting to know me and that they don’t like me. I am looking for a younger congregation. I am also looking for a job but I capturing anything I’ve been filling out application after application. I pray that my life gets better but as of late I have felt like my life has become relentless, fulfilling, boring and when I nightingale steps to change it does not work, I feel like all my friends are happier then I am, my cousins are all married and happy and ill never have that and feel like my family dissent take me seriously. I know my parents love me and they know about the depression , but I hide it as much as I can, I am seeing a therapist but I only see him once a month. I try to focus on the positives but if my life is still like this when I’m in my 30s I don’t see why’D would want me to carry on being unhappy, not married and not employed.

  20. Sorry for the typos my kindle chooses words.

  21. I am so glad to see I am not alone in having these unwanted feelings. I have many issues like all of you in particular the whole being single thing bothers me, gives me anxiety and horrible thoughts. I am 26 years old and currently live at home with my parents and I am single. I am tall, brown haired, clean shaven and in fairly good shape , and I am a vegetarian. Some people have told me I should try out for modeling. Anyways I am insecure and feel very isolated at this time in my life and while some of it is truly absurd and unreasonable I feel like there are times I just can’t shake these bio chemical thoughts. Being single bothers me and I really want a girlfriend and I want to get laid more. The funny thing is I’ve been told I am handsome, attractive and all kinds of other compliments and women do smile at me sometimes, yet I myself can feel unattractive, and depressed. I often feel lonely when I see happy couples who look happy, or happy couples making out and the voices start going off in my head about how i am considered fat, unattractive and how ill be single and alone my whole life. I have had sex in the past and had a girlfriend, but I am shy and the weird thing is people on the outside would consider me an extrovert and yet on the inside I feel the opposite. I am Catholic and go to church and put faith in GOD and pray my life gets better. I am looking for a job filling out application after application and can’t find anything. I am still living with my parents and ashamed of it . I often have thoughts that I will live with my parents my whole life and that nothing will never change. I have friends but mostly they are friends from high school and i don’t spend as much time with them also at church it’s mostly older people who are clickish and I’m trying to find a younger parish. I am very vain which is a horrible sin and I care very much about my appearance and even though I’m given compliments left and right myself wonder why I don’t have a girlfriend. I sometimes question weather life is all worth it, my parents do know I have depression but I bottle it up when I’m with them, I am involved at my church and involved and outside in life, but sometimes I wonder if GOD truly wants me to live if I’m suffering so much inside. People except my parents see my smile outside and see this upbeat and confident guy, but I feel insecure and worthless on the inside often. The weird thing is I don’t know why I feel like this I grew up in a “normal middle class background” with a good childhood and loving parents I was always very shy with women and I try to fight the shyness bland make small talk if I can, but often I freeze up around beautiful women and I feel ashamed. I feel jealous of less attractive men who get laid every night. I could never commit suicide because it’s a major sin in Christianity but I feel like maybe GOD dissent want me to get a job, a wife or girlfriend and be independent, if I am still living like this when I’m 35 I think I’m doomed.

  22. I run and go to the gym and I feel better doing those activities. That is a good way to work off depression.

  23. Great article. Hi everyone. Listen it’s a different society out there now. Very isolated and anti-social. Very meaningless. None of you are alone. What I’ve found is that nobody I meet has the capability to have an intelligent conversation anymore. Its all surface crap and meaningless dialogue. I won’t waste my time with that (now in my 50’s). I don’t hate people, just a majority of them :) American society especially has become inane, selfish and ignorant. Don’t let it get to you. Stay strong. I’ll tell you the media at large presses upon us the idea that people need people. Back in time when earths population was numbered in the millions there was a great deal of isolation. Without being to wordy I will add some things I find helps. Books, literature is quite awesome and a way to stay connected, nothing like a good book to engross you in human thought. Nature is spectacular, please spend more time in it. The search for self is also a wonderful thing. It never gets old, the questions, why am I here, who am I, what is important in what I think? Of course number one is I have found Jesus Christ to be about the best friend a person can have. Let me say this quickly…that empty house, not so empty anymore, that empty lonely life, not so empty anymore once one has a relationship with God. I can’t say it strongly enough, YOU ARE NOT ALONE, these commenters alone tell you that. We are not guaranteed a grand social life but there are many many things one can do if they can find the courage to face that they may have to “go it alone.” Find peace and harmony in how you individually relate to the universe, the stars are a wonder to behold and each of us is a part of it, each day is a gift.
    I was in the grocery check out line on Friday, the lady looked tired, about my age, when she handed me the receipt I looked deep into her eyes and said thank you [Connie], have a great weekend. Her whole face lit up….someone had taken a few second to actually notice her. I think I made her day. Who says being isolated and lonely prevents us from affecting others positively. Ya know that interaction made my day too. Seek that and you will find it. Know that it isn’t necessarily your fault at all that you find yourself in this state, as we can see lots of us are in similar circumstance. Keep in mind that IMO 99% of the people on this planet aren’t worth the time of day now. It’s quite ridiculous out there now. Revel in your independence, there is a whole world out there waiting to be explored if only through reading and visual arts, media and entertainment. Don’t think that “people” and socialism is the end all be all. Being the best you can be alone can matter. Consider how strong you are for facing that challenge everyday. Jesus said I am with you, I will never leave you or forsake you. I have found this to be true. What an ear he has to lend…I talk to him often and I know he listens. Don’t forget about pets, highly recommended, unconditional love and affection. I have one friend, estranged from my family, divorced for a little over two years now, can’t seem to find anyone I can relate to or deserves it. Yet I don’t necessarily despise folks just would rather be left alone than forced to socialize with what I see out there now. Shame really but what can you do? You can be happy…with you, that we can control. Best to all

    • Joe,

      I like the basis of your comment. I have no religion, so I will keep my views to my self in that regard. But I liked what you said; that you “looked deep into her eyes and said thank you [Connie], have a great weekend.” It seems that most everyone are so self absorbed into themselves to even notice other people around them. I do think that our society has become more inward and selfish.

      But have you ever went anywhere in public and for no reason at all, to give a smile to someone. Anyone! Being a gentleman in public, and giving a smile more often rewards me with a smile in return. It makes me feel good when I can at least bring a smile to someone’s face, if only for a few seconds.

    • It seems to me there’s two kinds of loneliness, loneliness by separation, and feeling alone amongst others. The former, loneliness by separation, just makes plain common sense. We are wired at a very primitive level to not be alone too long, probably for survival reasons. The other seems puzzling but probably not when you consider how much artificiality goes into most social convention. I’d say both are very real, but are amplified by a lack of meaning and purpose. When we have both of these when alone it is called solitude, when amongst others it is called community.

      I’ve suffered for a long time from what I call depression, social anxiety and chronic fatigue. I’ve been seeking out mindfulness as a way to deal with the resulting loneliness. I have a fairly comfortable life, but I question this as well so try to find ways to live humbly. I volunteer, and I would tell anyone volunteering is very rewarding but it is not an answer. I’ve kept myself healthy and fit, but think I’m kidding myself that it makes a difference after a certain age.

      Perhaps our civilization is at fault, after all look at what and who we worship (actually, don’t, if you can possibly avoid it). Though as has been said here, having money, good looks, or even lots of relationships is no barrier to feeling lonely.

      Sorry I ramble. Perhaps, as Joe says, the feeling of being unworthy is a message we get from society. And we know how often those messages from society are healthful and totally concerned with our well-being :) Kudos to him for finding ways around it. I will still be searching for some time…

  24. I can definatly relate to loneliness. I have always found it really hard to get close to people and maintain relationships. I am at a point in my life where I would really like to have more friends but it exhausts me just thinking about it. I have a hard time relaxing around people and I think people can take me the wrong way. I seem to have a lot of social anxiety and feel insecure around certain people..I have battled with drinking and anger because of it…..

  25. Interesting article. I find myself lonely and isolated quite frequently. But it seems the author implies that all of us have multiple personalities:; I quote, “Literally tell them to go away and that you refuse to buy into their destructive message.” Well I would if I could, but the only reason that I think that way is, well because that is the way I think and I see it as truth! I believe that I am unlikable to most people, and I feel much better when I am alone, and not under the watchful eye of critical people.

    I just got back from a vacation of being by myself. I was very lonely, but I loved it! Did I really want to be alone? No I didn’t, but it allowed me plenty time to think and evaluate my life in general. I am not happy with my life, in fact I hate it! But I am not suicidal, I just look for ways to deal with it. Being lonely is not necessary a bad thing, I think everyone needs some “alone time” to think.

    I enjoy helping other people, I enjoy making other people smile. But too often, when I try to help others or make them happy, I achieve the opposite of what I am trying to accomplish. This only makes me want to isolate myself even more!

  26. I’m stuck in that vicious circle and it is hard to break it. I got back from an 8-years long work contract in a foreign country about 6 months ago. I was excited for the first month after I got back, and then, I ended up alone 99% of the time because I feel I really don’t belong. Almost of not all my friends are now married, with kids, which is not my case, and being absent for so long made me “fall off the radar”. Even though I went to 4 birthday parties since I came back, nobody remembered mine. I also realized that when I don’t call, nobody will take the initiative to call me. If I found that normal in the first 3 months because of my prolonged absence, after 6 months, things did not get better inspite of genuine efforts I made to get involved in my friends’ and parents’ lives, and this weekend will be the sixth in a row being alone in my appartment. I’m started to feel like I am not able to get myself out of this, and it goes from bad to worse…

  27. Hello to everyone. I just spent the greater part of the last 2 hours reading everyone’s comments and blogs. These sites are very informative and helpful. It provides a means to reach out and feel understood & connected with other people in similar situations.
    I am over 50, the mother of 4 children, divorced after 20-years of marriage, Nana to almost 3 grandchildren, a military brat, finishing up a 2nd Master’s in Mental Health Counseling, I, too, have a chronic illness, ADHD, and clinical depression. I KNOW how blessed I am! But, like many if you, there are times when there are only feelings of emptiness, loneliness , and depression. I HATE having those feelings!
    Ten years ago, I watched as my 19-year-old daughter was pronounced dead by the ER physician. She had developed a blood clot in her leg that escaped many doctors. My life changed forever that night!
    I was diagnosed with having clinical depression at around age 30 however; I am certain I struggled with it as a teenager. At that time, it wasn’t uncommon to be told things like, ” you’re so sensitive!” The stigma of having depression was pretty strong back then.
    I have been through the ugliness of depression…extreme sadness, feeling like no one likes me or understands me, the negative self-talk, the thoughts of wanting to die!
    When I recognized that it was depression that I struggled with (and I thank Oprah for having that show on depression that I happened to have seen) …well, it was like an epiphany, and the next day I called and made an appointment to see a doctor. I started therapy and medication which, I am certain, saved my life!! Anyone who knows what it feels like to battle with depression can understand that, with the right help & education, you can feel almost reborn & alive …which is a feeling like no other!
    My depression comes and goes, but I am very in-tune with how I am thinking & feeling, and I know what I have to do not to allow the depression to win! It’s an ugly, lonely neurobiological illness.
    It is SO important to reach out to people…even going to places like this site. It can mean the difference between life & death for someone! Reach out…and for those who may not struggle with depression, look around you…there are people all around hurting every day. A smile or a sincere hello could make a big difference in a person’s life at that moment!
    The professionals are so right in saying to do whatever you can to connect with someone…it will help you feel understood, accepted, and positive. That’s the spark one needs! All of you suffering with depression, addictions, etc., you ARE IMPORTANT, special, needed, valued & loved! Sometimes the good people in our lives don’t find us…we find them! God Bless you all. Please reach out!! I will make myself available to anyone as well. Please don’t give up! Thanks for sharing…you are courageous and strong, and more than likely, helping to save another person’s life!

    • Thank you so inspirational, I am 54 3 wonderful kids and 3 amazing grandsons. Been on my own now for years, everyone seems to get on with me. I get told I am so attractive. Yet I feel so lonely and ugly. I am scared to go out now as I have put weight on, and I think no one could love me that I’m not worth it. I have tried dating sites but I never have the courage to speak to anyone. When they speak to me I always feel that they think I’m desperate. Everyone exercises whilst I don’t so they would not want to know me. My friends all say the lovely thing about me is that men drooled over me when I was out anywhere. Yet I never seen that I was always so timid and never felt good enough. I would love to meet someone who would see me for me. I am so low and feel I am just going to wither away and don’t know what to do about it. The relationships I have had, the men seems to treat me like a idiot. I would do anything for them yet they always treat me bad one way or another. I give up on finding Mr right as I really don’t think he is out there. I am a very caring person I work as a carer helping other people. Never stop and think what I would like to do, as I never have so have no idea what I would like to do now. My kids have grown up and have their own life’s and I don’t want them worrying about me, so I put on the fake smile and pretend that I’m ok. I can understand what everyone on here feels like. It would be great if we could all find solutions to this feeling and start to feel happy like most people.

  28. It is always wonderful to have a loved one to share your life with.

  29. I, too, feel something may be wrong with me because suddenly at age 61 I have become more hermit-like, though I am deeply in love my boyfriend of two years. But he’s all I need, pretty much. How long that will last I don’t know.
    I think Joe below is right when he says its harder than ever to connect with people, to even like them anymore! Yes, many are still wonderful, but more than ever people are VERY self-absorbed, too busy, overly busy so they will feel important and/or simply NOT THINK, selfish, grasping because it’s so hard now to make a living, etc. I understand the reasons, thank God but the end result is after 61 years I am out of steam and find myself avoiding most people because their energy is mostly negative or self-absorbed or clueless.
    Also, I have always been very sensitive, but gregarious usually, popular even mostly. I am considered very pretty though 61, highly educated, thoughtful, kind, hyper-aware of everyone’s feelings about 70-80% of the time. Long ago my family started taking me for granted and not responding when I was in emotional pain ’cause “Ellen is strong and will survive. No need to worry much about her. She’s a survivor, etc. , etc., etc.”. So that sort of neglect, despite ministering to THEM for years and years left me a little bitter I must say. Still and all I am somewhat involved in everyone’s life (family) except one brother. I prefer my nephews to my Boomer brothers! I prefer my first cousins also as they seem to stick together thru thick and thin and I admire/respect that. So I now talk to them on FB, not my immediate family much.
    My feeling about this is at some point maybe it’s ok? to be bitter. OK to want to keep your own company or just that of a boyfriend, say. It’s OK. It’s ok to feel overwhelmed and I refuse to believe there is anything psychologically wrong with me.
    I plan to bring it up with my therapist soon, but I just wanted to give my thoughts here in the hope they help others in some way. Good luck to everyone and God bless.

    • Hi Ellen, you sound exactly like me. In a weird way it’s comforting to know someone else feels as I do. I hope it’s not misery likes company. I don’t want to be unhappy, nor do I want you to be. There’s at least one other that feels as you do. Great luck to you. Please be happy, you are worth it. This is a tough world to be sensitive in. Good luck, Jim

  30. PS
    In order to grow spiritually, many years ago now I sought detachment as much as possible. I also worked hard and still do, to reduce my ego, not feed it. Maybe those two spiritual practices, though beneficial in many great ways, well maybe I took it too far. But all I know is I am more superficial with people now (keep my interactions mostly superficial with most) and prefer it that way. It may not be mainstream but I feel it is MY “new normal” and OK. My path now. Few would understand so I don’t discuss my path or my spiritual influences much.

    Nearly everyone on this planet now seems to think they only live for the moment, for money, for their families and friends and petty politics or interest group and everything else be damned- God, the world, the environment, your neighbor. It is a bleak time to be in the body, I will say that, but it will get better. We are on the cusp of a spiritual rebirth believe it or not. Now if I can only convince my bf of that as he is the world’s biggest pessimist and paranoid! lol

  31. Great article. Also I think this method worked wonders for me. read this article and it will make you understand on how to feel alone instead of lonely >>>> http://www.contrast007.com/how-not-to-be-lonely/

  32. Everyone here says they’re lonely, but sounds like many of you guys have got a lot of support. I have no friends, don’t get phone calls, Facebook, messages, nothing. I’m 28 and only have my family. I’ve tried to connect with new people but I don’t have anything to talk about and it doesn’t last. I’ve been lonely for years.. I feel like no one likes me.. Please help I don’t know what to do

    • Cj I hear you, and know your loneliness, you must be patient and wait, find hobby, distract your thoughts, start to think positive about yourself, tell yourself f… all i am going to enjoy life and I deserve happiness. Be grateful for what you have now, not in future because it’s all now. Don’t miss opportunities greater force give to You, if you look long behind you won’t see now. Take care.

  33. i have isolated myself for almost three yrs now. The only time i leave my small apartment is to go to dr appointments and too church. i get my granddaughters every other weekend one at a time for a sleepover. I have no friends and my children are grown and have their own lives they really dont spend any time with me anymore. The only time I show signs of life and happiness is when i am with my granddaughters. It was important to me for them to have God in their lives for the simple fact my daughter struggles with the exsistance of God and faith. Her and her boyfriend came along with me at church a few times. my church has a strict policy with our children their and you sign children in and out of sunday school through fingerprint. Since I am mainly the only one that takes them my fingerprints were the only one they had my daughter works alot and is hardly ever off on sundays. Well she attended with me and my oldest granddaughter recently and had a attitude cause she wasnt able to sign the girls into class so she had her prints done and took over what i took very proudly away rom me. Little by little everything is slipping away from me. Most of all the only thing that gave me happiness and peace. Im even told i am not even a good grandmother cause i spoil and show my granddaughters attention. I am considering moving several miles away alone away from everything and everyone that hurts me. Even if it hurts my oldest granddaughter that i raised for the first year and a half of her life. Cause obviously i am ruining her life as well. Talk bout being lonely and alone i have been for quit sometime. I cant stand to be away from my apaprtment for too long i dont feel safe and i feel out of place everywhere elses.

    • Kelly, I know what you mean – it’s so hard getting older and feeling more isolated from people. I feel sad for you that your children don’t visit very often. Is there anyone whom you can talk to at church who could counsel you? Or could you talk to a Christian therapist? Maybe a counselor at church or a Christian therapist could help you find a support group of people going through something similar to what you are experiencing. A counselor also might be able to help you learn skills on how to make and keep friends as well, if you feel that you struggle in that area. I will keep you in my prayers.

  34. This is one of the most relatable articles I have found on this topic. I still don’t know that there is anyone who feels quite like I do though. I’m 24, working 2 jobs, and trying to get through college. I live a vicious cycle of procrastination, very low self confidence, anxiety, depression, and who knows what else. I look around and see my classmates graduating college, happy in love, just MAKING SOMETHING of themselves and looking truly happy. I feel as if I am still looking for true happiness but I don’t have the drive, motivation, or mindset to do so. I know I have potential. I started college with a full scholarship but for some reason I ruined it for myself. I watch myself skipping class, putting off assignments, sleeping until 2 or 3 pm. I want to change, but I don’t. I also constantly worry about others’ opinion of me. My appearance, my personality—–I feel weird and awkward, even though I know there are people who like me and enjoy my company. I just can’t help feeling like no one truly knows me, and I will never be a “normal person” who knows who they are and excels in life. All of this is random and hard to follow, but it felt nice to rant. Hugs to everyone.

    • I feel alone everyday scared to talk to ppl cus idk how there going to act wishing i had a gf but to scared to find one because im affraid of getting hurt or used i wish there was a dark hole somewhere i could just go there and stay alone

  35. It’s very effortless to find out any matter on web as compared to textbooks,
    as I found this article at this web site.

  36. I’m so sorry I am writting this. I feel so alone. Back about 4 or 5 years ago I was a happy person, who would engage in some hard anxiety problems in the night. It would only happen some very few times. Now it happens everytime. I can’t bound with people, I always feel socially awkward. I think I have embraced my own misery, because it seems people try to approach me and I’m too selfish to care. I isolate and end up more depressed than I was before. I don’t know if I’m depressed or just spoiled. This kind of doubts lead me to self judgement every single second of my life. Sometimes I try so hard not to tell anyone how I feel, even though I really wanted to. But I never do, because I don’t want to deal with myelf after bothering them with my problems. Only leave the house to go to college, but that’s pretty much it. I feel like I had no friends, and really had to share this in some random place, and see if it gets me going.

  37. Has anyone noticed how empathetic, helpful and warm everyone here is?

    I read somewhere that what we experience as adults mirrors what we experienced with our parents. If you were abused, you maybe a target for bullies or mean people. If you were neglected, you may experience being ignored or excluded. These experiences make you want to retreat and stay away from people. I don’t know that it gets better with age,

    But I do know that you beautiful, sensitive people deserve to exist and deserve a good life that you enjoy. Until you figure out how to do that, don’t be like the others by criticizing and belittling yourself. Be patient and speak kindly to yourself, and if you just can’t leave he house, accept that for today and find a way to enjoy your living space. Take good care of yourself first and other things may come out of that.

  38. Hi i have been reading all the comments on this site. I cant believe i have so much in common with most peoples posts.
    I am 49 years old, live in a small village in South Wales, i recently moved here to be closer to my partner, and to try and find work. Due to claiming benefits it was the only private landlord i could find to take me on.
    Well sinse i have been here 6 mths, i have become very isolated and lonely and getting more and more depressed.

    I dont go out much as i dont know any one, i only leave the house when my other half comes to see me(he is full time carer for his mum and dad, so dont see him alot) I have tried everything to find a job, no luck, i dont drive so have to rely on public transport.

    I have also tried to do voluntary work but they dont need me often enough to be out the house. Both my children have now left home for some years my son is at uni, and my daughter live abroard.

    I am currently looking to move and try and change my situation but as still on benefits no one wants to take me in a new flat or house, due to all this bedroom tax and benefits cap. Its not for the want of trying to get out its just not working, and lack of money doesnt help. I have no friends or family close by, and as said partner can only come when he is free.

    So i am at a loss what to do??? can anyone please help???????
    .

    • Hi Sue

      Sorry to hear you are lonely and depressed. I know the feeling.

      You say you have ‘recently’ moved … Where are you originally from?

      May I ask, when you were raising your children, did you work?

      Cath

  39. All of these stories are so touching and helps me know that im not alone. I have always felt secluded, socially awkward and the list goes on childhood through adult years. I feel like theres no hope. Im 28 years old woman and just now getting my first apartment from living with family. My boyfriend of 5 months broke up with me. I know its soley because I have social anxiety and can’t hold a conversation. Sometimes I get so nervous that I just start laughing or can’t make eye contact. Part of it has to do with very low self confidence. Im so hurt that he left me and feel that no one will take me serious. I really need to get out and interact more. It’s just so depressing going through all this

  40. All i want is more friends, but i know that will never happen, im just a boy who was out grown by society, left in a room for 14 years, i broke free but seclusion is all i known, my mother died and my fathers a, lets just say a bad man, but when i did break free, no one likes me for who i am, so i stay forever in seclusion, i have a fake personality to look like im normal but, im not.

    • I’m like u Dalton, 12 years of being tortured, he tried too kill me but it didn’t work, i hope ur fine now, i know ur not though, be happy somehow, I’m trying too, Lord help us all, i love u and everyone on here, I MEAN THAT

  41. hello everyone here ! This is raj from India and I am 19 years old and my father was seperated with my mother and i hate him becuase he was gone away with another lady before i was born and right now I was away from my family and for my carrier and studies it was six months ago back on November 2013 and I was never been alone but now i have to be alone to achieve my carrier goals and i have to manage myself everything in this teen age even though I have enough friends but they are not too close and I feel like some people are trying to avoid me but I don’t know why eventhough I am good and honest with them and some friends being busy in their works and they are too far away from me & i am single i dont have girl friend and my profession is information technology but unluckily I don’t get some good friends in my office because of age factor and now presently i am feeling alone and feeling like depressed and I don’t know with whom I can also share that and I had enough confidence that I can achieve my goals but now I am feeling lacking of self confidence because of a loneliness and being depressed and planning to continue my higher studies in Australia when I got financially good for that and wish to get some good friends who can share my happiness and also my sadness and i do see some people being friends only for money & I hate that kind of people and I do see here many people posted here and I wish everyone will get out from loneliness and depression and have a happiest and peaceful life soon and I will pray to the god for the same ..

  42. I don’t know what to do. I have no friends – partly because I am painfully scared of social interaction and partly because I’m a very unattractive person (inside and outside). The only person who really cares about me is my mother, who I am infinitely grateful for, as she is the only one I can talk to, but I am tired of burdening her with all my problems. I have a sibling who has more serious psychological problems than I do, so my mother already has too much on her plate. I am naturally a loner, but I really wish that I had someone to talk to. I am not a good person in that I am very selfish and always feel jealous of everyone else, so I don’t really deserve friendship, but I still wish that I was capable of it. Writing this post was really scary. If anyone is out there, could you please give me some advice?

  43. That self help stuff is all well and good, but what would really help would be if someone would just care that I am hurting.

  44. yusuf umar fatima

    I feel very sad and depressed whenever i have my family around me…..i am unable 2 express my self and how i feel I only feel better when am alone and then no one cares 2 know y behave that way they take it as i am just been a junky and it’s killing me inside although I don’t have my mum around its just stepsmum and my father’s job doesn’t allow him stay with us he only comes and goes…….wah do you think is wrong with me?

  45. I am 57. I am an only child..I am married to a wonderful man,,but do not have children. I was epileptic all my life,and married late..My Mom has had dementia now for 7 years and my Dad lives with us..My parents moved in a year after our marriage,my husband thought it proper where i was their only child we should be there for them..We all got along great..Mom is now in a nursing home,and my Dad visits everyday.We were always very very close,,and i can’t imagine what i will do when they pass away.I cannot work,due to my back,i no longer have the seizures….But all i see is a grim future..No more new memories. I never minded being an only child,as i always had many friends and cousins..Many of these have moved away and some have lives with their grandchildren and children..I am depressed all the time..I am worried about money as i can no longer work,and am working on a getting disability..I worked all my life with up to 2O seizures a month and even got promoted..I refused a pension twice,,and not sorry I did..I wanted to lead a close to normal life..I fought all my life to be strong..but now what is there to look forward to…My husband is great,but i can no longer do many things..I sometimes say what will there be to live for…I feel alone, lonely,depressed scared…People say ..well you have your husband,,yes i know,but so do many others..Who do i turn to when i have no direct family left

  46. Hi, lately I’ve been feeling like my parents don’t have any time to help me with anything or evern just spend time with me. I’m 16, I have four siblings, one of which doesn’t live with us anymore, so they’re attention is divided anyway but lately, there has been much less one on one time with me and them. I come home at night about to do homework, I go to ask them something, then my immediate reaction is, “they don’t have time. Don’t”. They seem to always be working on something and they get frustrated when I try to tell them something but I’m not sure whether it’s all the time. This article helped a bit but my situation doesn’t sound the same and I don’t know what to do.

    • Hi Maddy, I am sorry that you feel like your parents don’t have time for you. Do they know that you feel this way? If not, I think it would be a good idea to tell them. They might not realize that you’re feeling like this. I understand how you feel when I was your age my dad wasn’t around and my mom would always go out with her friends so I felt like she never had time for me either. So I told her how I felt and she started spending more time with me. I think it would be a good idea for you to tell your parents as well.

  47. People say go out and have a drink somewhere, talk to people. I have no problem talking to people for work, but when I’m not working, I am so lonely and isolated. I don’t want to go to a bar alone as a single woman, I guess because men will think I’m there to get “picked up” and most people are coupled and I stick out. My mother died 26 years ago when I was 22. I’ve been divorced for nearly 12 years. All of my “friends” are married, in relationships and don’t have time or interest in going out without their partner. I hate feeling like this. I’ve never felt like this before. I even tried the online dating thing, but no one piqued my interest. I’m 48 years old, I have a pretty successful business, my son is 18 & independent. A good kid.. I’m very proud of him. I hide my lonely feelings from him because I don’t want him to think that he has to keep mommy company. I just want to feel better.

  48. I’m a guy, aged 22. My girlfriend recently moved abroad for summer vacations and there she would get engaged to her cousin. None of them are in the favor of this marriage and the girl told her mom about the guys disliking too, but her mom wouldn’t listen. The parents want some legal marriage documentation sort of thing done there in Australia so that she gets her visa soon once she comes back to Pakistan. She has left for almost 40 days and it is probably her 2nd day there today. The girl even told her mom about us, liking each other. She knows me as i have been visiting her place for exam studies etc. All of a sudden her mom changed her mind and decided to get her Nikkah done( a muslim custom performed right before marriage). I have been feeling extremely depressed these days so much so that i often ended up crying, something that i am disappointed of being a guy but i couldn’t help it. My mom is aware of my situation and she often tries to calm me down and cries too when she watches me depressed. The girl’s mom thinks that since we belong to different sects in Islam we have no future, cuz even if we had a future it would be marred by problems. We really like each other and we are in the fourth year of bachelors degree and having been in a relationship. We were best friends and we are too. But the thought of her living with that family and interacting with the guy is killing me. I try my best to get my mind off this but that’s of no use. She is a really nice girl and i have full faith in her but i sometimes start getting pissed at her as if she’s happy and doing nothing to protect the relationship. I have been pretty upset. Please help me someone. I am also planning to move abroad next year for masters and i’m pretty hopeful of getting a good job too to secure her future. But i fail to get why her mom is not listening even though she knows her daughter is not happy and cries day in and day out. The guy told my girlfriend himself that he drinks and can’t give up and his family doesn’t know about this. Whenever i discuss with my gf she ends up crying cuz honestly speaking she did try a lot. But we are still trying and praying. But there seems no way out of this depression. She tries to explain that i can not tell the guy and his family that i like someone else but i can stay quite if they ask me if i am happy. She says she loves me more than anything and she would keep on loving me and we will remain best friends and talk forever and be there for each other, i trust her and know shes saying the truth. But once she gets married, she would be busy with her life and house affairs, how would she have time for me. It would be unethical to ask her for a similar relationship because now she would be someones wife. It would be unethical on both of us. But the thought of her living with another guy and making a family would kill me. She says the guy is afraid of having kids with her and says she would avoid physical contact as long as she can. But i know one day or the other the guy would be pressurized from his family to go for a baby, or he might even want to do it out of his own will, even if it is not for a baby. My life and hopes would be over. She would be back after 40 days for a year or so but i won’t be having the same time with her if she gets engaged or nikkah-ofied. Please guys help, i know i’m being a girl here but i am so attached to her that this situation is getting out of my hand. thanks.

  49. Sudhanshu Patel

    Hi, I m 22 yr old guy. I hava no friends since childhood. I tried many time to make friends among the classmates and neighbours but I always found that they never like me as friend, I don’t know what is the reason behind this? This is either my shynesss or dullness. Due to such I started envolving myself with TV & net surfing, that converts in watching po*n sites & some bad health destructive habbits. But I never like such things, I just tried involve myself. At present I don’t know, what to do to overcome my loneliness and such bad things?
    I have quoted such matters on many sites but reply never came.
    So, plz help me.

  50. exactly james…but once u here i love u phrase dis is once again a initial start for lonliness….u wil b happy until u here dat phrase once u start missin it from d one who u r expectin it….den u r back to same mood….its a cycle…wat i think…..wat i think to overcome dis is….1: keep urself busy everytime….2: if u get sum time to tk rest….jst play any outdoor games…3: bcom tierd nd hv a good sleep…….maintain dis cycle…..hope it may help d ppl like us facing all such things……i m nt older as u ppl but stil facing d same problem as u ppl…

  51. Hi,
    It most of my life Ive been overweight and even my own mother made fun of me for it. Ive worked hard at a job for 25 years and they went bankrupt. was married and he left me because I couldn’t take care of him anymore the way he was used to, obviously he didn’t love me he was using me. I have 2 kids that are grown now and they do their own thing on the holidays. Mom and I never got along, even when I was a child. Ironically she was dying in a nursing home and begged me to take her home to die. I didn’t have a home anymore because of my job loss I lost my home also. My brother lives in a half million dollar home in Tn. said he would help me and that was a joke. I was told she had 6 months maximum to live and got an apartment, am paying for part of all her medical, oxygen, hospital, ambulance etc… expenses while on ssd myself. Well, it has been 6 years now im in my late 50’s and cant leave the apartment. I have no life anyway, and when I do go out people look at me like Im an alien. somehow I feel like im here as a joke. No friends, no men will even look my way, im in pain all the time and taking care of a woman that I felt hated me even as a child. where do I go from here. Went to therapy and when I talked about It they put me on medication and I had a nervous breakdown. I wish I had a friend to talk to. but a true friend, one that wont tell me Im just a whiner. because Im not. I am a good mother, grandmother and the best friend anyone could ever want. I was even an excellent wife. What have I done to deserve this. Am I the only one feeling like this?

  52. I too feel lonely. My son is heading off to college today and he is my world. He is only going to be a 1 1/2 away but I’m going to come home to no one. My family is 4 hrs south of here but not really too involved in my life. I know they love me though. We just had went down there to visit for the holiday but I felt like I’m still alone there and don’t really belong just a bother. I am a believer but still it’s hard.

  53. Life has been very tough since I’ve been 13. My mom works 12 hours a day and I have to iron all the clothes and clean the house and cook food. Now I’m 16. My mom had a baby about a year ago so I have three brothers now. It’s been very tough to go to school and come home to take care of my baby bro and not being able to start homework till 9 or 10 at night. I’m exhausted. I don’t have many friends because I am always home. It’s now summer vacation and I feel so isolated from the world. It’s so hard. I can’t remember the last time I was able to have a day to myself and not have to iron or cook or worry about my brothers. I am so stressed that it’s hard to breathe. I hope that this is worth it one day. That what I’m going thru will make me stronger for wat will come. Im just gonna have faith in God.

    • Allow me to say I think you’re a very, very brave person to do all that you do, and try to accept the worry and misery that sometimes goes with it. I realize it doesn’t help very much for some stranger to say that, but in my book, COURAGE is one of the most valuable things a person can have–and Lord knows, you have a lot of it.

      I have no great thing to offer, but I do hope as time goes on that your life improves in all the ways you want.

    • Hi Emma,
      I understand what you are going through. I know it is hard and life is unfair. Just hang in there. Better days will come. It’s a blessing if you are so responsible and strong at only 16 years old. You should feel so proud that you are helping take care of your family and are a capable person that your mom can rely on. Just don’t lose sight of what’s important for your own future, like doing homework, getting good grades, developing yourself and your talents. You have to take care of yourself, too. If you overcome these challenges, you will be well prepared for the future.

      Think of life as a gym, and everything you’re going thru is making you strong.

      A lot of teens who grow up with easy lives have no problem getting good grades, etc. But then in the real world, when things get hard, they fall apart and fail. You will not be like that. You will have a tremendous capacity to take care of yourself and others.

      While you are cooking and doing chores, maybe you can use that time to help yourself also. For example, you could listen to audio books or helpful stuff on YouTube, or audio lessons, like learning a new language or about art, history or a career you’re interested in. Or even inspirational or funny videos. Whatever you’re into. It may seem pointless if you only have a few minutes at a time, but it does add up, and everything you learn makes you a more interesting person. Try to do it even if you don’t feel like it. It’s a way to make the best of your situation and use it to benefit YOU.

  54. Hey everybody, man i was lonely when i came on here, then i read everyone’s comments, now i feel like ur all my friends and I’m happy with that, love wayne, not straight

  55. This theory about depression and isolation only has so long before psychologists won’t throw it around casually. Self-hatred isn’t the only reason people avoid others. Some people who like themselves just fine have an aversion to social situations. Some people with high “self-esteem” and lots of self-respect are depressed. CBT tends to use one-size-fits-all psychology, and it’s just one more way that the mental health industry dehumanizes people suffering from trauma and mental illness.

  56. This is the first time I have actually confronted my lonlyness in any shape or form.My only defense has been denial.
    I.m a 44 year old male who is now completely alone after years of watching friends ‘move on’ with their lives.Get married have children,enjoy life .While my stagnation became more evident and quite frankly more embarrassing.
    It has created in me a profound sadness .This in turn effected my self confidence years ago.
    Not being confident is something women can literally sense.So with this comes a circle that is self perpetuating and spirals gently downwards.
    I don’t use drugs and don’t play games ,I,m not egocentric or narrccisstic.I can’t stand loud obnoxious people who feel the need to push their opionions down everyone’s throat.So I guess I,ve isolated myself for the last ten years.
    The sadness of my life has now taken its toll and I,m finding it very hard to ignore.
    I don’t feel anyone owes me anything,I don’t feel sorry for myself-I just feel empty now.
    I have felt this way for over 10 years.My only wish is that people here reading all these peoples stories and finding themselves relating should do something about it.Dont deny it..confront and do something about it before you hit your 40,s….wish I did.

  57. Hi! Am 34 this coming oct. Eventhough am married and i have 1 son, am still very lonely and getting depressed every second of the day. Sometimes when i go out to buy groceries, i dont want to go home. My husband has a stable job but all he thinks is his work and when his home he always play games on his android or he always on his laptop. dont get me wrong, am greatful because his a hardworking man. But he just ignore me. when his with his officemate he is always happy and smiling. I always spend my time with my son. I love my son so much but im still lonely and depressed.

    • Lonely Minister's Wife

      I completely understand. I’m a Stay at Home mom to my 17 month old daughter. My husband works full time and is an excellent provider for our family. I am lonely and depressed and suffer from anxiety. I was diagnosed with a chronic illness in 2009 which does not make things better. I feel like I have lost myself. My husband has an outlet by working and always talks about his colleagues. We’ve known each other since 2009 and have only been out on ONE date. Doesn’t look like it’s gonna get any better. If it weren’t for my daughter, I wouldn’t have any interaction with anyone during the day. I love her and thank GOD for her! She has saved my life many of days.

  58. This article is full of shit!

  59. I m 23 yrs old. Done graduation n job for one yr. But i always think that i will end up my life only crying. Even when i am popular in my cousins.
    In my family my dad was depressed and isolated, he never talked to anyone much. My mom is angry lady,whenever i tried to communicate with her she always ended it up shouting at me. From childhood i heard bad about me so i always try to please people. I have a elder brother who stopped talking to me when i was 6-7 yrs old. We still dont talk, besides living in a same house.
    And now i have atmosphere in my home like my brother dont talk to me (said earlier) his wife (sis in law) dont talk to me. I lost dad 2 yrs ago. My mom talks to my brother n sis-in-law. She dont bother about my lunch or dinner. Never ask me for anything. She roams with bpth of them n dont even think to tell me. They come home late in night n never even inform me. No one talks to me in my house. May it sound fake, dramatic,may you dont believe it but its happening with me right now. I am crying like hell but noone cares here…..

  60. I am lonely quite a lot, but I feel that the presence of an animal in my home makes me come alive again..
    This evening I was feeling tired and of course tiredness plays havoc with ones mind! My back door was open and suddenly a beautiful cat walked in and ‘meewed’ at me. My soul and being came alive again and my spirits were recharged.
    People and ‘friends’ can be very superficial a lot of the time., and there are many good people out there. Unfortunately they are very hard to find!!
    What I am trying to say is that, for me, I can relate better to animals than people. The saying ‘a dog is a mans’ best friend’ is I suspect a very true one.

  61. I’d like to point out the blatant and negative misuse of the word introverted, in the first paragraph.

  62. I am a 23 year old who for most of my life feels isolated and not wanted. I was rarely ever told the words “I love you” by anyone. Although I was always a competitive student, throughout my secondary education, my teachers and classmates picked on and bullied me. I felt like the object of mockery wherever I turned. Forging friendships was a remote possibility since I could not invite friends over to my house. I went on to college and earned a bachelor’s degree in Health science and was admitted to a master’s program in an IV league university. I did not foresee my inability to obtain a loan and was, therefore, dis-enrolled. My first relationship began at college where I got involved with a lesbian girl. After recognizing her unhealthiness, I forced myself to leave and never contact her again. Ever since the break-up my loneliness and isolation got much more intense. I have been spending years in therapy, but I don’t see an end to my plight. Conversations are a burden, because I feel so distant from the other party, this includes dating. I hope someday soon I’ll find an answer to this perplexity.

  63. Hello to all, I am in my 40’s and have always been competent and independent and intelligent, but even though I am my very own father has betrayed me by petitioning a forced guardianship on me, and this happened in 2011 and I’m still trying to get out of it because it isn’t doing anything for me except making me feel like a piece of you know what, no one can possibly know what I go through morning,noon and night because only we ourselves can walk in our own shoes, my life is being wasted due to an overly protective father but what he fails to realize is that he’s doing more harm to me. that isn’t love at all that’s emotional and verbal abuse. so do I feel isolated and alone yeah I do. so my heart goes out to the others on here. but I am doing everything I can to defend my human rights.

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