You Don’t Want What You Say You Want
…ctions with others, — each individual in the couple could expand his or her capacity for both giving and accepting love. Learn more about Dr. Firestone’s latest book The Self Under Siege:…
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The Value of Being Personal with Your Children
…tudes or way of being. Indeed, any technique, attitude, or approach to childrearing that treats children as objects to be manipulated by certain parental styles of communications is detrimental to their development. Many adult patients have complained bitterly about being treated as an object by their families. Children need adults who relate to them directly; they need people who are open with them about their real thoughts and feelings. This typ…
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Fear of Intimacy
…d unfamiliar. In their introduction to their book Fear of Intimacy, Robert Firestone, Ph.D. and Joyce Catlett, M.A. state: “The average person is unaware that he or she is living out a negative destiny according to his or her past programming, preserving his or her familiar identity, and, in the process, pushing love away. On an unconscious level, many people sense that if they did not push love away, the whole world, as they have experienced it,…
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Compassionate Child Rearing
…etter understand the effects they have on the emotional state of their children. The lesson of the text is that children deserve the same rights, respect and consideration as any fully grown human being. To raise their children in a healthy environment, where they are seen and heard as independent individuals, parents must come to understand the ways in which they hurt their children and the events from their own past that helped motivate their be…
Learn MorePsychological Defenses in Everyday Life
Robert W. Firestone, Ph.D. – This book is a rich resource that broadens personal understanding by examining the origins of childhood pain, subsequent defense formation, and the pervasiveness and destructiveness of resulting maladaptive, addictive behaviors in adults. The authors point a way toward reversing the damaging process that keeps individuals from experiencing genuine satisfaction. The clarity and empathic tone of the book make it a valua…
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Identity, Sexuality, and Society’s Assault on the Self: A Commentary on John Irving’s Novel, In One Person
…book. This novel, in particular, is supportive of good mental health by emphasizing the central importance of sexuality in people’s lives. The themes of sexuality, sexual desire, and society’s continuing interference with how people choose to express their sexual natures have permeated many of Irving’s novels. This is one of the reasons why he is among my favorite authors. These themes are also subjects that we have explored in depth in our book…
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What Are Defenses?
…ted psychologically… also serve as terrible limitations to the self,” said Dr. Robert Firestone author of Psychological Defenses in Everyday Life. As children, the ways in which we comforted ourselves often served as substitutes for something we were either not getting or wished to avoid. Whatever we did, whether we calmed ourselves with self-soothing habits or disappeared into a world of fantasy, we felt relieved by our behaviors. The pain was le…
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The "Voice” Is a Sneaky, Tricky Thing
…oes it come from? Does having this point of view identify you with someone from your early life experiences? It’s a beneficial line of exploration and “becoming aware of the voice” is one of the most valuable contributions Dr. Robert Firestone, The Glendon Association and PsychAlive offer in helping us get right with ourselves. Other Posts by This Author: Where the Rubber Meets the Road Open to Emotion Gaining Awareness Through Loss More-…
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How to Bring "Vacation Sex" Home With You
…ities behind. They have the opportunity to unplug their computers and cell phones so they won’t be distracted. They are there with the purpose of having a good time, so they are in better moods and are more playful. When couples are away from home, they feel freer to be more uninhibited. Typically couples return from vacation wanting to bring their revived sexuality home with them, but gradually, in spite of their best intentions, they slide back…
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How To Tell the Difference Between Real Love and Fantasy
…al and exciting from the deadening effects of what my father, psychologist Dr. Robert Firestone, termed “The Fantasy Bond?” A fantasy bond is created when two people replace real acts of genuine love, admiration, passion, and respect with the role and ritual of “being” in a relationship. Though this process is often unconscious, people can begin to recognize patterns and behaviors characterized by a Fantasy Bond that are destructive to their close…
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