…ike each other. How to Fix a Relationship After a Fight People are full of imperfections. No matter how even-keeled we aim to be, fights, miscommunications, and mis-attunements occur almost every day in a relationship. When they do, we can follow four little steps to quickly repair the situation and get back on track in our relationship. 1) Step away. No matter how hurt you feel in the moment, reacting destructively will only make you feel worse….
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…reatment of violent individuals. Finally, Dr. Courtois offers some optimal parenting strategies “to promote the child’s self esteem” including building resilience and repairing negative experiences so that the child feels responded to and cared about. Read More from Dr. Christine Courtois Christine A. Courtois, PhD, ABPP is a Psychologist in independent practice in Washington, DC where she is the principal of Courtois & Associates, PC. She receive…
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…hment when they have a parent who scares them or who feels overwhelmed and afraid when the child gets afraid. A parent like this creates fear without solution. The child wants to go to them for safety, but feels fear when they are close, so they need to get away. This leaves a child with no organized strategy to get their needs met. As a result, they grow up internalizing fear of others and at the same time a fear of being without others.’. Their…
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…ildren that our own parents attacked in us? Are we compensating for a part of our past that we felt was mishandled by an influential figure in our early lives? Perfection is impossible. But reflection helps us do better as parents. When we do slip up, we can use our self-understanding to repair ruptures in our relationships with our children. We can apologize for our mistakes, empathize with their pain, and explain to them how we really feel. The…
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…odel of psycho-pathogenesis. And that model of psycho-pathogenesis now will be critical now to the treatment model that will follow of the other side of it, etc. so we’re now looking, in my own work, I’m looking at normal development, abnormal development and that ultimately repair in the psychotherapeutic context using the same mechanisms that the right brain communicates with in the mother/infant dyad with the patient/therapist dyad….
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…ng dynamics of this problem, I explained that many people adopt the victim role, albeit unintentionally, because they are afraid of their anger, deny its existence in themselves, project it onto other people, and anticipate aggression or harm from them. With this expectation and a high sensitivity to anger in others, they may even distort other people’s facial expressions, imagining that they have malicious intentions. The anger that they would ha…
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…and feelings in ways that allow them to get carried away. When people feel afraid of something like being abandoned, they tend to have a lot of mean thoughts toward themselves perpetuating this fear. Imagine if you could acknowledge these thoughts and feelings without letting them overtake you. Could you take a gentler attitude toward yourself and let these thoughts pass like clouds in the sky instead of floating off with them – without losing you…
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…the woman being the caretaker. Do any of your behaviors relate more to the role of being in love than to actual loving behavior? Do any of your mate’s behaviors relate more to a role of being in love than to the actual act of being in love? Utilizing customs and conventional responses as substitutes for real closeness Society has provided us with many opportunities that we can use to strengthen the form of a relationship rather than the substance….
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…ds, it is easy to play the role of being a teacher. In my experience, that role does not work when applied to children. I have learned that although I may be older, have more experience and have had more years of education, that does not grant me the privilege of being an intrinsically better person. The children I teach are just as important as I am. Their thoughts, feelings, fears and joys are just as worthwhile as mine. In that respect, we are…
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…hatma Gandhi Child psychologist “Dr. Mac” has helped kids and families for over forty years. A graduate of Dartmouth and the University of Virginia, he is the Clinical Director of the Family Therapy Institute of Santa Barbara and co-author of two highly acclaimed parenting books — How’s Your Family Really Doing? and Who’s the Boss? He offers a free webinar called The 4 Essential Keys to Parenting Strong-Willed Kids, and has been featured in nation…
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