Search Results for: kessler/2009/11/nerf-guns-–-what-are-we-afraid-of/2009/12/1593/2009/11/your-role-in-your-childs-development/2009/11/imperfect-parenting-rupture-and-repair-by-michelle-deen

Being a Role Model

…Why leading our own lives to the fullest is good for our children….

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The Fantasy Bond in Couple Relationships

…and helplessness, and plays the part of an authority figure. This type of role play interaction tends to prevail in the couple with occasional role reversals. As a result, it is rare that both partners are relating from a simple, adult state of mind or perspective. As long as these reciprocal roles are being acted upon, both partners feel excessively dependent and bound to each other. Form Versus Substance Once a fantasy bond has been established…

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Daring to Love in the Time of Coronavirus

…hip tends to become unbalanced and unequal. Often, one person takes on the role of a parent while the other assumes the role of a child. In areas where one partner is weaker or less accomplished than the other, it is tempting to lean on the other and become progressively more dependent. This type of dependency further weakens people, and they become more dysfunctional. If a partner is stronger or more capable in any way, there is a tendency to tak…

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Communication with Children

…ling the truth; being honest means being real. It means not acting out the role of the parent. This role interferes with your having genuine and personal communications with your children. In acting out the requisite parental behaviors, parents find themselves becoming patronizing, strategic, phony, and asking perfunctory unfeeling questions. It is important to be open about yourself with your children. Talk to them personally about your feelings…

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Do You Confuse Admiration with Love? Tales of a Covert Narcissist

…pping into a polarized position, taking on the parent (Overt Narcissistic) role or the child (Covert Narcissistic) role in your relationship. Realize that every child needs to develop primary self-love and self-compassion as the prelude to developing love for other people. However, as an adult, you no longer need mirroring or acceptance from your parent in order to experience love in your life. It’s also important to be aware that there is a proce…

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How Childhood Defenses Hurt Us As Adults

…dependence is part of what made our parent’s actions so significant to our development and what gave them such strong influence over us. To an adult, having another adult erupt in anger or act victimized by us might spark in us a feeling of anger or provocation. But for a child, having someone who is not only physically larger than us, but fully responsible for us, either explode in rage or fall apart can be terrifying. Even parents with the best…

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Parents: Are You Losing Your Identity During Lockdown?

…seeing their parents as happy and fulfilled people in and of themselves – role models in the most authentic and well-rounded sense. The challenge of maintaining our sense of self, while tending fully to the needs of our kids was hard enough pre-pandemic. Yet, nowadays parents are being asked to adopt the additional roles of teacher and full-time caretaker. Many are doing this while juggling their professional responsibilities along with new house…

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Compassionate Child-Rearing: An In-Depth Approach to Optimal Parenting

In this revolutionary work, Dr. Firestone develops the theory and underlying dynamics involved in disturbed family relationships and the “poisonous pedagogy” that characterizes generally accepted patterns of child-rearing. The author expands on the phenomenological descriptions of the traditional abuses of children previously offered by Alice Miller, R.D. Laing, James Garbarino, and others, and explains how well-intentioned parents unwittingly in…

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What is parenting?

…Dr. Pat Love: What it is to Parent…

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VIDEO: Dr. Allan Schore on Our Culture, Parenting and Preventive Mental Health Care

Watch an excerpt from PsychAlive’s interview with Dr. Allan Schore. Dr. Allan Shore talks about the impact our culture has on the mother-infant bond that makes preventive mental health care difficult. Dr. Allan Shore: And just for the record, you can have a whole culture who is going through such disorganization and such chaos and there are a number of cultures that we can easily think of right now in the world whereby it’s pretty clear that ther…

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