Attachment

Where Our Relationship Patterns Come From

What makes us act and react the way we do when it comes to love?  In an ideal world, we would all be born with perfectly attuned parents who love us truly and are there for us whenever we need them, but who also give us just the right amount of space and independence to… Read more »

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Resolving the Trauma You Didn’t Know You Had

Most of us wouldn’t use the word trauma when telling our story. We may associate trauma with natural disaster, disease, war, loss or other extreme acts of violence. Unless we’ve suffered sexual or physical abuse, or even if we have, we may tell ourselves that there was no “trauma” in our early life. Yet, a… Read more »

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Why Do Break Ups Hurt Some People More than Others?

How Attachment Style Affects Break Ups  Break ups aren’t easy for anyone, but have you ever noticed that some people seem to cope with them better than others?  While some who’ve loved and lost are barely able to get out of bed, others appear to bounce back immediately. Of course, every relationship is unique, and when one… Read more »

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How Your Attachment Style Affects Your Parenting

Like it or not, our childhood has a lot to do with how we parent. In fact, attachment research has shown that our attachment style with our own parents is the biggest predictor of the attachment style we’ll have with our child. Attachment style refers to the internal “working models” we develop of how relationships function…. Read more »

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How Insecure Attachment Creates Fertile Ground for Addictions

Human beings have a longer period of dependency on their caregivers than any other mammal. We depend on our caregivers not just for food and safety but also emotional connection, affection and love. When there is strong emotional connection and love between infant and caregiver we call this “secure attachment.” Baby knows that they can… Read more »

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Avoidant Attachment: Understanding Insecure Avoidant Attachment

The way that parents interact with their infant during the first few months of its life largely determines the type of attachment it will form with them. The relationship between the primary caregiver and the baby can create a secure, anxious, disorganized or avoidant attachment style that will form a blueprint for relationships throughout the… Read more »

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Anxious Attachment: Understanding Insecure Anxious Attachment

Understanding Anxious Attachment Human beings are born with strong survival instincts. One of the strongest is based on an infant’s inability to survive on its own and its complete dependence on an adult for nurturance and protection. Babies have an innate drive to make sure that they get their basic needs met by a parent,… Read more »

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One Surprising Reason We Sabotage Love

In a previous blog, I talked about how studies are now showing that it is possible for people to stay in love long-term. Yet, it’s been said that over 85 percent of couples will call it quits. According to data collected by WotWentWrong, an app that tracks why people break up, the most common reason… Read more »

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VIDEO: Dr. Allan Schore on Attachment Trauma and Effects of Neglect and Abuse on Brain Development

Watch an excerpt from PsychAlive’s interview with Dr. Allan Schore. Dr. Allan Schore describes attachment trauma, and the effects of neglect and abuse on brain development.  Dr. Allan Schore: We’re also looking at the more understanding that we have now about normal development and normal attachments, secure attachments, we’re also looking at the other side of… Read more »

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Change Your Attachment Style to Have a Better Life

What if we could identify the filter that shapes our perception of the world and change it so as to have a better life?  We are born into the social context of our families and quickly need to /develop strategies to get our needs met by our caretakers. Depending on our early emotional environment, we… Read more »

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