Attachment

Why Do People Have a Type?

There’s a lot of mystery surrounding attraction. When we talk about our “type,” what pops into our head may be certain physical features or a number of positive qualities that seem totally reasonable to desire. Yet, there appear to be mysterious forces at play pushing us to choose certain people, and not all of these… Read more »

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Why Relationships Scare Us

“Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know that we cannot live within.” – James Arthur Baldwin The pursuit of love is a great motivator of mankind. Love is universal in that it’s something most of us strive for; it’s part of what gives our lives meaning. Yet, we all… Read more »

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The One Thing We All Should Do to Become Better Parents

Nothing feels more like a fresh start more than becoming a parent. When a child is born, the future is one vast, clean slate riding on a sea of our finest hopes, dreams, and intentions. Yet, pretty much every parent quickly learns that the sea is much rockier than anticipated. This is not just because of… Read more »

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Can Attachment Theory Explain All Our Relationships?

One mother’s journey through the science of attachment theory. The stage is set: a room with two chairs and some toys on the floor. A mother and her 1-year-old baby enter and begin the Strange Situation, a 20-minute, eight-episode laboratory experiment to measure “attachment” between infants and their caregivers. Through a one-way mirror, researchers observe… Read more »

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Can We Change in Our Relationships?

It’s possible to break free of bad habits when it comes to relationships. “Can a person really change?” This is a question I hear a lot when people are talking about struggles in their relationships. They wonder if their partner will ever start being more romantic or stop getting in such bad moods. It’s easy… Read more »

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Where Our Relationship Patterns Come From

What makes us act and react the way we do when it comes to love?  In an ideal world, we would all be born with perfectly attuned parents who love us truly and are there for us whenever we need them, but who also give us just the right amount of space and independence to… Read more »

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Resolving the Trauma You Didn’t Know You Had

Most of us wouldn’t use the word trauma when telling our story. We may associate trauma with natural disaster, disease, war, loss or other extreme acts of violence. Unless we’ve suffered sexual or physical abuse, or even if we have, we may tell ourselves that there was no “trauma” in our early life. Yet, a… Read more »

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Why Do Break Ups Hurt Some People More than Others?

How Attachment Style Affects Break Ups  Break ups aren’t easy for anyone, but have you ever noticed that some people seem to cope with them better than others?  While some who’ve loved and lost are barely able to get out of bed, others appear to bounce back immediately. Of course, every relationship is unique, and when one… Read more »

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How Your Attachment Style Affects Your Parenting

Like it or not, our childhood has a lot to do with how we parent. In fact, attachment research has shown that our attachment style with our own parents is the biggest predictor of the attachment style we’ll have with our child. Attachment style refers to the internal “working models” we develop of how relationships function…. Read more »

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How Insecure Attachment Creates Fertile Ground for Addictions

Human beings have a longer period of dependency on their caregivers than any other mammal. We depend on our caregivers not just for food and safety but also emotional connection, affection and love. When there is strong emotional connection and love between infant and caregiver we call this “secure attachment.” Baby knows that they can… Read more »

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