Fear of Intimacy

Why Are You Avoiding Intimacy?

There’s often a lot of mystery surrounding a budding relationship. When we first start dating someone we like, that mystery is usually centered on them. Is this person right for me? What are they thinking? How do they feel about me? What are they looking for? As things get closer, however, we often find that… Read more »

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Genuine Relating in an Imperfect World

Real-World Romance for Real-Life Partners Last month, I finished revising and updating The Fantasy Bond with my husband, Robert Firestone. While working on this book, now called Challenging the Fantasy Bond, I became aware of what a delicate balance it is to keep a relationship real. In a romantic relationship, people have a tendency to… Read more »

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Are You Swiping Right on Your Attachment Style?

How your attachment style may be sabotaging your finding love. Over the years, I have witnessed many people turning to dating sites to find a romantic partner. I have witnessed some of them finding love and companionship and others experiencing disappointment, frustration and rejection. And with these observations, I have become aware of how much… Read more »

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Staying in Love While Staying Yourself

A lot of couples talk to me about their struggles to stay close to each other in a way that feels vital and intimate. At the same time, they may also complain about a feeling of sacrifice or a way they’re having to compromise and give up certain aspects of themselves to be in the… Read more »

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3 Ways to Tell You’re Afraid of Intimacy

While most of us say we want love, pretty much all of us have some degree of fear around intimacy. The type and extent of this fear can vary based on our personal history: the attachment patterns we developed and the psychological defenses we formed to protect ourselves from early hurts. These patterns and defenses… Read more »

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How to Preserve Your Individuality While Quarantining with Your Partner

For many of us, we are one more month into being quarantined with our partner. While this can be an opportunity to take a break from the busyness and distractions of our “normal” lives and reconnect with our loved one, it is also a time when we can lose touch with who we are as… Read more »

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Daring to Love: Interview with Tamsen Firestone

Watch Now: Daring to Love  Move Beyond Fear of Intimacy, Embrace Vulnerability, and Create Lasting Connection  

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How to Be Vulnerable to Love

Being vulnerable is a popular topic of conversation these days. In fact, at this time, Brene Brown’s TED talk “The Power of Vulnerability” has had more than 30 million views. In spite of all the talk and of how much we may want to be vulnerable, especially in our romantic relationships, it’s not easy to… Read more »

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Is My Self-Hatred Getting in the Way of Love?

The short answer is: yes! Hating yourself puts you directly at odds with someone who loves you. You each have diametrically opposed points of view about you: your’s being negative and your partner’s being positive. So what can you do to resolve this dilemma? And why does this dilemma exist in the first place? Let’s… Read more »

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How Embracing Vulnerability Strengthens Our Relationships

Science has revealed a long list of complex reasons why social connections benefit our mental and physical health. Experiencing relationships and support can lead to longer lives, healthier habits, reduced symptoms of stress, and a sense of meaning in life. Most of us have personally experienced these rewards and don’t need a study to tell us why… Read more »

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