inner critic

Creating a More Positive Identity

The biggest challenge to anyone looking to achieve a personal goal or make a change frequently comes from within. Every one of us is split between our true self, what we seek to be, and a threatening “anti-self” that distorts our very sense of who we are. Most of us can relate to hearing the… Read more »

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How to Be Confident

A Psychological Guide to Building More Self-Confidence Society offers us plenty of advice on how to be confident. “Just be yourself.” “Fake it til you make it.” “Dress for success.” Tips fly at us from every direction, from mothers to magazine covers. Some of this advice can be useful, but it can ultimately feel ineffective… Read more »

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How to Reduce Self-Criticism and Make Real Change

My biggest problem with New Year’s resolutions is that, too often, they’re grounded in self-criticism. And by self-criticism, I do not mean a positive or realistic aspiration to be a better human being. What I’m referring to is a deep, dark core belief that we are just not good enough. For many of us, this… Read more »

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Letting Go of Your Inner Critic, an Unwelcome Holiday Guest

This time of year, our sentiments are filled with wishes of joy, happiness, love, and light. Yet, for so many people, the holiday season is not the picture of warm serenity we see printed on our greeting cards. In fact, a majority of people name winter as the most stressful season of the year. Last… Read more »

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You Don’t Really Know Yourself

Examining the persistence of our negative identity My life’s work has focused on understanding resistance in psychotherapy and more specifically, on people’s fundamental resistance to the formation of a better, more positive image of themselves.  For the most part, they are unaware that their lives are controlled and regulated by negative images and attitudes toward… Read more »

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How to Tame Your Inner Critic

There are countless quotes, mantras and entire philosophies dedicated to telling us to find and follow our “inner voice.” This is a something I agree with wholeheartedly when it’s a matter of freeing ourselves from doubt and hurtful influences to discover who we really are. However, the inner voice can be tricky. Like pretty much… Read more »

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“Nobody Likes Me:” Understanding Loneliness and Self-shame

    There is perhaps no more painful thought in the world than that of “nobody likes me.” It’s an easy feeling to indulge and dwell on, a terrible go-to self-attack in low moments when we feel isolated, depressed, anxious or insecure. This feeling has almost no bearing in reality and no purpose other than… Read more »

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29 Ways to Increase Your Feeling of Self Worth

Having self worth comes from within and can easily be harnessed. Here are 29 ways to increase your feeling of self worth. Self worth comes from within, you won’t find it by having more money, having more friends, having a fancy car or a big house.  It is something intrinsic and something we can’t gain… Read more »

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Mindfulness Can Quiet Down the A**Hole Voice in Our Heads

I was recently interviewing ABC News anchor Dan Harris, author of 10% Happier, for an upcoming online symposium on Uncovering Happiness. I really enjoyed spending time with him rapping about what happiness is really about and why mindfulness and compassion can help inspire it. But one of the things that really made me laugh was… Read more »

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Live Your Own Life

What gives a person’s life meaning is as unique to that person as their fingerprint. In order to live your own life, you must begin to identify and prioritize the things in your life that are the most meaningful to you. It is essential that you ask yourself if you are truly living the life… Read more »

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