inner critic

Silencing the Troll Inside Your Head

In a recent study, nearly half of Americans surveyed said they’d experienced online harassment or abuse. Cruel, condescending, and critical commentary can be found everywhere from celebrity Twitter threads to the comment sections of blogs about topics as innocuous as how to properly boil an egg. While it’s shocking and upsetting to have a complete stranger lash out… Read more »

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The Voice (The Enemy Within)

Discover the negative thoughts and attitudes at the core of a person’s maladaptation. The voice consists of a series of negative thoughts and attitudes toward oneself and others that is at the core of a person’s maladaptation. It can be conceptualized as the language of the defense system. The voice is not restricted to thoughts,… Read more »

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Is My Self-Hatred Getting in the Way of Love?

The short answer is: yes! Hating yourself puts you directly at odds with someone who loves you. You each have diametrically opposed points of view about you: your’s being negative and your partner’s being positive. So what can you do to resolve this dilemma? And why does this dilemma exist in the first place? Let’s… Read more »

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Feeling Like a Failure

“We are all failures – at least the best of us are.” – J.M. Barrie No matter how “successful” a person may seem, we all have moments of feeling like a failure. When things feel smooth at work, we pick apart our parenting skills. When our home life is going well, we criticize our job performance. When… Read more »

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Self-Loathing

Self-loathing is that underlying feeling that we are just not good: not good enough, not good at this, not good at that, not good at – or for –much of anything.  It can be subtle, we may habitually compare ourselves to others, for instance, constantly finding fault with ourselves and putting ourselves down, with no… Read more »

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Creating a More Positive Identity

The biggest challenge to anyone looking to achieve a personal goal or make a change frequently comes from within. Every one of us is split between our true self, what we seek to be, and a threatening “anti-self” that distorts our very sense of who we are. Most of us can relate to hearing the… Read more »

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How to Be Confident

A Psychological Guide to Building More Self-Confidence Society offers us plenty of advice on how to be confident. “Just be yourself.” “Fake it til you make it.” “Dress for success.” Tips fly at us from every direction, from mothers to magazine covers. Some of this advice can be useful, but it can ultimately feel ineffective… Read more »

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How to Reduce Self-Criticism and Make Real Change

My biggest problem with New Year’s resolutions is that, too often, they’re grounded in self-criticism. And by self-criticism, I do not mean a positive or realistic aspiration to be a better human being. What I’m referring to is a deep, dark core belief that we are just not good enough. For many of us, this… Read more »

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Letting Go of Your Inner Critic, an Unwelcome Holiday Guest

This time of year, our sentiments are filled with wishes of joy, happiness, love, and light. Yet, for so many people, the holiday season is not the picture of warm serenity we see printed on our greeting cards. In fact, a majority of people name winter as the most stressful season of the year. Last… Read more »

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You Don’t Really Know Yourself

Examining the persistence of our negative identity My life’s work has focused on understanding resistance in psychotherapy and more specifically, on people’s fundamental resistance to the formation of a better, more positive image of themselves.  For the most part, they are unaware that their lives are controlled and regulated by negative images and attitudes toward… Read more »

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