Search Results for: lisa firestone/feed/2009/11/fear-of-intimacy

The Scientific Approach to Changing Your Life

…hey’ll want a healthy outlet and support system to help them deal with the fear and anxiety that accompanies the excitement of evolving into who they want to be. Once someone has made a change, they will need a plan to prevent relapse. A person’s critical inner voices will be present at every stage of change, including the maintenance phase. By learning tools to combat this inner critic, knowing its tricks and ignoring its directives, the person i…

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What Happens When You Give Up Your Phone for 3 Days?

…eep. I even find it hard to put it face-down on the table, while eating in fear someone “needs me.” My partner always tells me to put it down and have a chat with her or concentrate on the issue or job at hand. In recent years, mobile phones have become a prevalent part of our lives. In England in the year 2000, 49 percent of people had mobile phones. In the year 2013, that number had jumped to 94 percent. So, in the past 15 years, you have gone f…

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Changing Your Sense of Identity

…Therapy is a method developed by my father, psychologist and author Robert Firestone, to help people identify and act against their “critical inner voice,” a negative internal dialogue that criticizes and undermines us and others in ways that hurt and limit us in our lives. The steps of Voice Therapy help us to identify the destructive things we’re telling ourselves. Some of these are right at the surface. “You’re so stupid, fat, ugly, lazy, annoy…

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You Don’t Really Want to Get Better

…low them to develop and overcome their psychological maladies. Most people fear a basic change in their identity, be it positive or negative. From an early age, children form a powerful bond with their parents whom they are dependent upon for their ultimate survival over a prolonged period of time. Every child needs protection, love, and affection from adults who ideally possess both the desire and ability to provide satisfaction of the child’s ba…

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How Emotions Guide Our Lives

…he embarrassment overpowering our sadness, or the anxiety masking a deeper fear. For example, if our partner doesn’t show up for us or lets us down in some way, we may feel righteous and enraged. We may stonewall or erupt in our next interaction with him or her. However, if we look at our initial reaction, our primary emotion, we may recognize that we had more vulnerable feelings, such as feeling hurt, unwanted, or ashamed. These primary feelings…

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Why People with Eating Disorders Need Our Compassion

…e. It is not ‘craziness,’ but the person’s best attempt to soothe enormous fear in a world where they still feel unsafe. It’s really about finding the meaning of the client’s choice, whether that choice is food restriction, binging, purging, overeating, or other self-harming. It’s felt to the personal like a survival skill, and the person is doing the best they can. Seeing the reason why a person is struggling with harmful behavior is SO important…

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Prioritizing Yourself: Making Sure You’re On the List!

…like: ‘May I be healthy, May I be happy, May I be safe, May I be free from fear.’ Well wishes for a loved one – Sometimes when we’re not feeling well, we become overly absorbed in our own heads and it’s good to step outside. We can extend similar well wishes to a loved one or friend. Well wishes to your community and/or the world – We can even expand these same wishes to our family, or larger community, or the world. Take a moment to try this out…

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Aware: The Science and Practice of Presence with Dr. Daniel Siegel

…tivate kind intention can literally help grow a healthier brain and reduce fear, anxiety, and stress in life. This webinar provides practical instruction for mastering and teaching clients how to apply the Wheel of Awareness, a life-changing tool for cultivating more focus, presence, and peace in one’s day-to-day life. Whether you have no experience with a reflective practice or are an experienced practitioner, Aware: The Science and Practice of P…

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The Link Between Childhood Trauma and Depression

…been altered by the trauma,” said Perry. “Understanding the persistence of fear-related emotional, behavioral, cognitive and physiological patterns can lead to focused therapeutic experiences that modify those parts of the brain impacted by trauma.” In some cases, beating depression will involve a journey toward healing from early trauma. Making sense of our experiences and feeling the full pain of them can help us to move on and feel better in ou…

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Separation Theory

…essive separation predisposes a state of anxiety and unrest. The resultant fear is compensated for by forming a fantasy or illusion of connection, which I term the fantasy bond. The fantasy process soothes the anxiety and pain, but generally predisposes maladaptation as well. In order to maintain the fantasy bond, children tend to idealize their mother or primary caretaker at their own expense. In denying her faults, children come to believe that…

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