Search Results for: lisa firestone/feed/2009/11/fear-of-intimacy

nervous system

Do You Identify as an Anxious Person?

…belief that you are an anxious person is actually reinforcing anxiety and fear in your life. When you look at the fearful thoughts you have, you’ll see that most of them, if not all, are simply not true. But remember, whatever anyone believes is their identity, is the life they live. Playing small is not your true nature – Why live a limited life? This conversation alone could bring a level of mindfulness or awareness to pop you out of unhealthy…

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Why It’s Okay to Feel Bad About Certain Things

…acted the way we did in the first place. We may realize that a feeling of fear, anger, or shame was triggered inside us that caused us to lash out or react in some way that didn’t serve us. Accepting these feelings and allowing them to pass through us is an important part of growth. 3. Keep your inner critic in check It’s one thing to be willing to face our shortcomings and experience our feelings in an effort to better understand ourselves. It’s…

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Accepting “Good Enough” Friends and Partners

…uation remind me of anything?” “Is there something deeper I’m feeling like fear, hurt or sadness?” “What might help me calm down and feel more myself?” 4. Show Appreciation When we get too focused on the negative, we should try to step back and look at the bigger picture. Is this thing I’m critical about representative of the way I really feel toward this person? It’s a real gift to ourselves to take some time to connect with our own feelings of a…

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3 Essential Steps to Take Before Getting Angry at Your Kids

…n hindsight, our reactions were an attempt to address our own anger and/or fear in the heat of moment and don’t actually serve to help teach our children, other than perhaps to teach that intense emotions yield harsh responses. There is another path forward that produces far better results, supporting development and growth of self-regulation. This path comprises three essential steps: 1. Regulate The first is to attend to regulation. As parents,…

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The Role of Death Anxiety on Attitudes and Behavior Aroused by the Pandemic

…es that the virus is a major threat to life or only a minor inconvenience, fear of death plays an important role in driving one’s attitudes and behavior related to the virus. “The New Normal” has quickly become a cliché in light of the pandemic, yet it succinctly describes people’s adaptations for both avoiding the threat of death from the virus, while still being able to pursue goals that give life meaning, value, and connection with others. Ackn…

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Is Social Media to Blame for the Rise in Narcissism?

…are we’ve shown toward others. Narcissism, conversely, is often based on a fear of failure or weakness, a focus on one’s self, an unhealthy drive to be seen as the best, and a deep-seated insecurity and underlying feeling of inadequacy. It is important to understand that narcissism stems from underlying feelings of inadequacy. Many children of the millennial generation were given form rather than substance, presents instead of presence, which leav…

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Going Back Out into the Dating World

…ughts and feelings. Are you open about your vulnerable feelings, like your fears and self-doubts? Are you good listeners; are you compassionate and empathic? Are you open to feedback or does either of you respond by being angry and defensive? How well do you argue? Can you express your anger cleanly, that is directly while being respectful. Do you both care more about the relationship than about being right? Do you recover from arguments or do eit…

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celebrating the holidays

How to Have Happy (“Covid-Free”) Holidays! 

…d, half-masked for usies, or just unmasked. And while we shouldn’t live in fear, being alarmists, it’s wise to decide how we need to be smart and safe as individuals. The best plan is one made prior to situations you may encounter. Even as adults, we’re not immune to peer pressure. Let go and let in – Traditions bind us together and typically make quality time sweeter. However, this year the ball is in our court to figure out what goes and what st…

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trauma of racism

The Trauma of Racism

…lve an “ongoing physical or psychological threat that produces feelings of fear, anxiety, depression, helplessness, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).” When you witness the kind of grotesque violence against a man like George Floyd, knowing that this could happen to you or someone close to you simply based on your skin color, how can you not feel threatened, afraid, anxious, depressed, helpless? Yet, as we all know, for many African Americ…

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10 Ways to Fight Loneliness While Sheltering at Home

…now or have lost someone who’s struggled with this disease. Many of us are fearful for ourselves and for our loved ones. And likely, all of us are missing the people we’re used to spending time with. While we may be telling ourselves to “keep calm and carry on” for fear of being overcome by emotion, we shouldn’t try to bury or avoid our sadness. Sadness can be a vital, primary emotion. Allowing ourselves to feel it fully can be like letting a wave…

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