…up the activities that used to matter to him, that used to be part of his identity? He might think: “What’s the use? Your grades don’t matter any more. Why bother even trying? Nothing matters anyway.” Extreme self-denial, lack of pleasure. People at risk often lose the ability to find any pleasure in life. When they feel like giving up on themselves, they start to give up on other things. “You’re too young and inexperienced to apply for this job….
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…to you than this experience. Through practice, overtime you cultivate more identity with what I call, the essence of your being, (learning how to separate Awareness and Mental Activity), and you can learn not to get swept away by the waves of immediate experience. For now, the beginning practice, is to simply note I am aware of my negative self-talk. Non-judgmental attention loosens your grip on holding tightly to your evaluation of the moment. No…
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…irestone, Ph.D., Lisa Firestone, Ph.D. Joyce Catlett, M.A. How much of our identity or ‘self’ is truly representative of our own wants, needs, and goals in life and how much does it reflect the desires and priorities of someone else? Are we following our own destiny or are we unconsciously repeating the lives of our parents, living according to their values, ideals, and beliefs? In this thought-provoking book, noted clinical psychologist Robert Fi…
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…s to relive old patterns, we tend to select people who fit in with our old identity, and we relate to them in ways that recreate a comfortable negativity from our past. For example, if someone’s inner coach keeps telling them they will never be picked on a sports team, the anxiety it creates can impair their performance. If it tells someone that no one will want to go out with them, it will flood their head with self-criticism that hurts their con…
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…y according to his or her past programming, preserving his or her familiar identity, and, in the process, pushing love away. On an unconscious level, many people sense that if they did not push love away, the whole world, as they have experienced it, would be shattered and they would not know who they were.” Though people claim to seek real love, when they find it, they are often unprepared for the many challenges that ensue. When we find someone…
Learn More…in their jobs, more fulfilling relationships, and a strengthened sense of identity. Download Slides fromReflections on a New Year: How to Become Your Best Self To request a free full video recording of this webinar, please email [email protected] Upcoming Webinars: All Webinars are provided for free by The Glendon Association, a nonprofit organization dedicated to saving lives and enhancing mental health. To support this Webinar series, you c…
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…, or manipulation. Love is not the desperate attempt to deny aloneness or the search for security that many couples manifest in their desire for a fused identity.” To further explore this complex and desirable phenomenon, click here….
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…central theme: I am alone and on my own. Autonomy is at the core of their identity. Relationships don’t matter, the past doesn’t influence the present, they don’t need others for anything.” In your life narrative, when you told a story from the past did you lack the ability to reflect back on it as an adult today? Did you tell the story from the point of view of a child? Did your overall narrative relay conflicting themes? Did some of the inciden…
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…lison” was a big part of what defined him, and losing the “we” part of his identity was like dying. He did not know how to be an “I.” “Here’s how it happened: It was a Thursday night and when I came home from work, she was sitting there with an open bottle of wine. She poured me a glass and said that we had to talk. Never a good thing to hear from your partner. She told me that she thought I should move out. She said that we had been growing apart…
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…es are not us. We should never stubbornly assume that they are part of our identity. By declaring “Well, that’s just the way I am!” “I’m just not an affectionate person,” “I’m just a loner,” or “I just have an addictive personality,” we are giving up on finding out who we really are stripped of our defenses. Only by identifying these reactions as an old adaptation and rejecting their current influence can we lead full existences in which we are tr…
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