Search Results for: critical%20inner%20voice

Stop Self-Sabotage by Conquering Your Inner Critic

…reventing us from finding meaning in life. Watch a Whiteboard Video on The Critical Inner Voice Identifying these critical inner voices and developing a realistic, compassionate point of view toward ourselves and others is the first step in the process of differentiation, which is outlined in our new book, The Self Under Siege. In the book, my co-authors, Dr. Robert Firestone and Joyce Catlett, and I outline a four-step process for differentiating…

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Why Do We Trigger Each Other in Close Relationships?

…tells us that we must be stupid or uninteresting, and that our partner is critical and insensitive. Before we even have a chance to address the issue with our partner, our mind is five steps ahead already lost in dialogue with our critical inner voice. Our behavior becomes a response to that internal conversation rather than to anything that’s happening with our partner. We may then act cold or angry or in ways that don’t make sense to our partne…

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How to Stop Feeling Triggered by Your Partner

…tner and also feel more compassion for ourselves. 2. Pay attention to your critical inner voice As we get to know our triggers, we should be equally aware of the critical inner voice, or negative internal commentary that’s filling our heads when we feel stirred up. For example, when I asked the man mentioned above what he was telling himself when his wife gave him instructions, he described having thoughts like: She thinks you’re an idiot! This is…

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VIDEO: Dr. Allan Schore on Key Factors in Treating Suicidal Individuals

…iance with the patient, now, of emotional communication really is the most critical one, the critical thing to the efficacy of the treatment. So the question is, how can the therapist now attune to that internal world? Now remember, in some ways, there are some difficulties in that because that internal world at the same time can be rather chaotic, rather difficult, because of the difficulties in affect regulation, the affects are much sharper, mu…

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Conquer Your Inner Critic by Lisa Firestone, Ph.D.

…acks as true statements about who you really are. Step Two: Countering Our Critical Inner Voice Once you identify your critical inner voice, you will be better able to combat it. After writing your voices as “you” statements, you can then respond to them from a more realistic and compassionate point of view. For example, you may respond to the above statements by writing things like: I may make mistakes once in a while, but I’m working hard and do…

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I Feel Lonely: What To Do When You’re Feeling Alone

…for negative, self-critical thoughts. These thought patterns make up the “critical inner voice (CIV),” an internalized enemy that leads to self-destructive thought processes and behaviors. This inner critic feeds into our feelings of isolation, encouraging us to avoid others and remain in a lonely state. Although our critical inner voices may tell us otherwise, in reality, there is nothing inherently wrong with us that leads us to be lonely. It i…

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The Scientific Approach to Keeping New Year’s Resolutions

…real capabilities. When we first make changes, we should fully expect our critical inner voice to get louder. This is part of why it can be harder to maintain a change than to make it in the first place. Yet, one of the most empowering tools we keep in our toolbox is our determination to consistently challenge our critical inner voice. 3. Practice self-compassion We all want to have healthy self-esteem, but perhaps a better goal is to embrace mor…

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Stop Hating Yourself Once and For All

…out Self-Hating Thoughts The first thing to realize is that we are not our critical inner voice, and we are definitely not the person our critical inner voice tells us that we are. Just because we ourselves experience these self-hating thoughts does not mean that they make up our real and honest point of view. Remember, every one of us is divided in our feelings toward ourselves. The critical inner voice should be seen as an alien point of view, a…

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The Voice (The Enemy Within)

…sery than the negative events or happenings themselves. But where do these critical voices come from? The origin of self-critical and self-destructive thinking processes A baby comes into this world with a certain genetic predisposition and is profoundly affected by events during the first year of life when the brain is undergoing its maximum development. It is a time when the infant is most impressionable and its experience is on a preverbal leve…

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Stress, critical inner voice, psychalive, Dr. Lisa Firestone

Silence the Inner Voice That’s Stressing You Out

…to gain a more realistic view of yourself. Watch a Whiteboard Video on The Critical Inner Voice Finally, think about what the actions are that could counter your critical inner voices. When my friend had an attack that she was snapping at people, it didn’t help that she was acting on her self-critical thoughts by getting moody and lashing out at co-workers. Avoid actions that will lead you to feel worse. If eating three slices of pizza relieves yo…

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