Search Results for: critical%20inner%20voice

How to Overcome Insecurity: Why Am I So Insecure?

…al inner voice.” Dr. Lisa Firestone, who co-authored the book Conquer Your Critical Inner Voice wrote, “The critical inner voice is formed out of painful early life experiences in which we witnessed or experienced hurtful attitudes toward us or those close to us. As we grow up, we unconsciously adopt and integrate this pattern of destructive thoughts toward ourselves and others.” So, what events or attitudes shape this inner critic? The experience…

Learn More

The Critical Inner Voice That Causes Depression

…and challenge the roots of our depression. Watch a Whiteboard Video on The Critical Inner Voice The frequency and intensity with which someone experiences critical inner voices correlates with their level of depression. For whatever reason, whether because of overwhelming frustration, a deep sense of loss or even a positive event beyond their level of emotional tolerance, people who are depressed turn more against themselves than for themselves. T…

Learn More

Are You Overthinking Everything?

…nt of view, while having more compassion for yourself. 3. Stand Up to Your Critical Inner Voice Journaling is a very helpful way to track what your critical inner voice is telling you. One very helpful exercise Dr. Firestone recommends in Conquer Your Critical Inner Voice is to write down these “voices” or thoughts as “You” statements instead of “I” statements. i.e. “You’re so ugly” as opposed to “I’m so ugly.” “I’m useless; I always mess up” beco…

Learn More

Why We See Ourselves Negatively

…g us of all our many flaws. Defensiveness or overcompensation for our self-critical thoughts Sometimes we are so caught up in our critical inner voice that we can’t tell what’s really going on around us. For example, we may be having a conversation with a friend who’s telling us one thing, but through the filter of this “voice” we are hearing quite another. “Why don’t you go running anymore?” our friend asks. But we hear, “You’re getting out of sh…

Learn More

Why We Don’t See Ourselves Clearly

…s outside forces coloring our realistic point of view. Instead, we see our critical inner voice AS our real point of view. So, how does this voice affect us in our present lives? Our critical inner voice is tricky, because not only does it fill our heads with self-doubt, spiteful commentary, and scathing assessments of everything from how we look to how we behave, from who we are to what we deserve, but it can also seem almost self-soothing. For i…

Learn More

How to Identify Your Critical Inner Voice

…s mean-spirited, external points of view can free us from that destructive critical inner voice. You don’t have to look far to find your critical inner voice. It’s there when you go to a job interview: “Why are you wasting your time? The other applicants are more qualified for this job.” It’s there when you express a point of view, “You idiot, why did you say that? Now everyone will think you are stupid.” It’s there when you make a mistake, “Can’t…

Learn More

The Inner Voice that Undermines Your Relationship

…s these voices regulate,” said Dr. Lisa Firestone in her book Conquer Your Critical Inner Voice. How does the critical inner voice try to undermine a relationship? Take look at the scene in Annie Hall where the main characters, Annie and Alvy, have just met and are having a glass of wine on the balcony of her apartment: ALVY: So, did you shoot the photographs in there or what? ANNIE: Yeah, yeah, I sorta dabble around, you know. (Annie’s thoughts p…

Learn More

5 Things to Do When Your Inner Critic Takes Over

…s, we should just try to notice it and simply say to ourselves, “That’s my critical inner voice.” 2. Limit Interaction When our critical voice starts to speak up, we don’t have to try to respond or get too caught up in whatever it is saying. It can be tempting to mull it over or argue a case with it one way or the other, but this gives it a lot of power. The point is not to get lost in our inner critic’s content but just to notice that it started…

Learn More

I Hate My Body: Dealing with Poor Body Image

…which passes this low self-esteem from generation to generation.   How the Critical Inner Voice Operates It’s important to recognize how our critical inner voice works in order to catch on to when it’s sneaking into our thoughts and causing our self-esteem to plummet. The critical inner voice tends to be triggered at certain times or based on certain events. If someone looks away when we make eye contact, it may say, “You see? You’re not attractiv…

Learn More
jealousy and jealous feelings

How to Deal with Jealousy

…nt. This voice can fuel our feelings of jealousy by filling our heads with critical and suspicious commentary. In fact, what our critical inner voice tells us about our situation is often harder to cope with than the situation itself. A rejection or betrayal from our partner is painful, but what often hurts us even more are all the terrible things our critical inner voice tells us about ourselves after the event. “You’re such a fool. Did you reall…

Learn More