Search Results for: critical%20inner%20voice

Are You the Pursuer or the Distancer in Your Relationship?

…irectly for what I want? Does my tone sound warm and inviting or whiny and critical? Do I purposely avoid eye contact or resist affection? Do I create restrictions based on my own insecurity? Do I reject time alone with my spouse? If we can be curious and non-defensive, we can really come to know our own cycle and patterns, both in coming toward and moving away from our partner. We can also notice the coaching thoughts or “critical inner voices” t…

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Why Break Ups Hurt So Much

…asy that we substituted for real relating long ago? Am I indulging in self-critical thoughts that tell me that I’ll never find love or that there is something wrong with me? When we feel rejected, we often start to listen to destructive “inner voices” that attack us and our partner. When we’re listening to these destructive thoughts, we’re more likely to feel humiliation than real sadness over our loss. Our inner critic fuels feelings of not being…

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prioritizing yourself

The Unselfish Art of Prioritizing Yourself

…fit by setting aside our own wants and needs. 5. We lose ourselves to our “critical inner voice.” When we are preoccupied by a drive to be “productive” or “helpful,” it’s valuable to look at what’s pushing us. Are we doing what we do because it makes us or people we care about happy? Or are we driven by something else? Many of us have an inner critic that tells us we have to achieve certain objectives to be acceptable or worthy. This harsh interna…

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How to Get Over a Breakup

…f-doubt, feelings of shame, humiliation, and self-loathing. Be aware of a “critical inner voice” that starts attacking you when you’re vulnerable. Remember, it’s not just what happens to us in life that affects us but what we tell ourselves about what happens. Losing someone will cause real sadness, but there’s a whole new level of pain opened up by the inner dialogue that’s been set off in our heads. Common post-break-up thoughts or critical inne…

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I Want to Die

…ing a burden to others or not belonging anywhere. The combination of these Critical Inner Voices and the emotional pain people are feeling can lead them to believe that they shouldn’t be alive and the people in their lives would be better off without them. However, this is never the case. Harming yourself will only hurt the people that you love. Studies show that each person who commits suicide directly impacts at least seven people. Furthermore,…

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The Inner Voice that Drives Suicide

…ompleted my dissertation on suicide, I have learned a great deal about the critical inner voices that drive a person toward suicide. In my years of experience publishing books and articles, producing films and creating assessment scales on suicide, what has fascinated me the most is the consistent finding of the role of the destructive inner voice in suicide. This voice drives suicidal tendencies, deceptively convincing people that it is better to…

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Give Yourself a Retreat: The Gift that Keeps on Giving

…ornia, and though I am teaching a weekend workshop on how to “Conquer Your Critical Inner Voice,” I am also looking forward to connecting with my own sense of who I am, what matters to me, and identifying those daily internal dialogues that get in my way. So why is a retreat so different from taking time at home to take on those dusty to-do lists, those pesky New Year’s resolutions, or those personal goals of spending more time with your partner o…

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fear of intimacy, psychalive

5 Strategies for Dealing With Your Partner’s Fear of Intimacy

…dependent toward them. Our distressed behaviors may make our partner more critical, perceiving us as weak or clingy, and they may then pull back further. Alternately, a partner’s withholding may leave us angry or hardened against him or her. We may withdraw in response and become colder in our actions. Naturally, this too will leave us estranged and emotionally distant from each other. Talk about issues in non-heated moments When engines are revv…

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Is My Self-Hatred Getting in the Way of Love?

…tive self-image. Some people avoid the threat by choosing a partner who is critical of them; therefore their views are harmonious. Other people protect their old identity by pushing love away. But, if we are brave and hang in there with someone who loves us, we can come to see ourselves through their eyes. It won’t be easy; we will be very anxious. There will be times when we will want to dismiss our partner or push them away. But if we give them…

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Mindfulness Can Quiet Down the A**Hole Voice in Our Heads

…reduced activity in the part of the brain associated with a wandering and critical mind. This was also correlated with lower scores on the Beck Depression Inventory compared with a group who wasn’t practicing mindfulness. Could this cortical midline area of the brain be where the A-hole in our mind is? This is certainly a worthwhile doctoral dissertation. In any case, it’s the experience of thousands and thousands of people that shows practicing…

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