…their partner? Or why is it that a person, who is on the verge of ending a relationship that they are unhappy in, feels desperate and abandoned when their partner chooses to end the relationship first? The overwhelming, emotionally shattering sense of loss that we experience at the end of a relationship is often the result of our having created a “fantasy bond” with our partner. A fantasy bond is a term developed by my father, psychologist Robert…
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…We asked relationship expert Dr. Lisa Firestone for her advice on everything from how to make love last to how to get over a devastating break-up. Watch her answers below. YouTube responded with an error: The playlist identified with the request’s <code>playlistId</code> parameter cannot be found….
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…ge Risk To Love Someone Dr. Carol Gilligan: Well, you see, the thing about relationship is, it’s like the tide, it’s always moving. It’s alive and the minute you try to freeze the relationship where you get scared… I mean, it’s true, in life somebody could always die, somebody could leave. It’s like, things happen. So it’s a huge risk to love somebody and it’s very dangerous in that sense. On the other hand, if you try to control love, or a relati…
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…off more aloof or, as the name suggests, dismissive. They want to be in a relationship, but they simultaneously resist experiencing or showing any need for emotional closeness. They may have a tendency to seek out isolation, emotionally distancing themselves from their partner. They can appear to be more focused on themselves and to value their priorities above their partner’s. They can seem cool and removed, often expressing annoyance or even di…
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…We can’t claim to be in love without acting loving. Relationships get into trouble when couples enter a “fantasy bond,” in which they replace real acts of love with the form of being in a relationship. They then function as a unit without exchanging the sort of respect and kindness between two individuals that allows love and attraction to flourish. When we enter a fantasy bond with our partner, we start to replace real relating with routine inter…
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…als by treating our partner with a level of respect and affection that gets us back on track. By taking these steps, we can get through hard times, perhaps, even using them to enhance closeness and know each other better. Breaking Free From Bad Relationship Patterns Length: 90 Minutes Price: $15 On-Demand Webinars In this Webinar: Identify patterns of recreating past dynamics in adult romantic relationships. Learn how early attachment style in…
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…ough, we may resist taking chances as adults or act on insecurities in our relationships. As children, we often learn that wanting is bad. In adulthood, this may manifest in an intimate relationship by us not expressing what we want or need directly. It may make us tone down our behavior and not act excited to see our partner or shy away from sharing a close experience with them. When we learn to recognize our defensive adaptations that are negati…
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…ites, such as www.lovingfromadistance.com, that offer great gift ideas for couples in long distance relationships. These include long distance relationship bracelets, necklaces, pillows, clothing, and even a romantic letter in a bottle. You can also make a thoughtful gift, such as a video of you together, an album with photos of the two of you, or a disc of your favorite love songs. Long distance relationships can be difficult emotionally, especia…
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…” Well, there can’t be, for ethical reasons. It’s the same thing about the relationship. So it doesn’t trouble me nearly as much as it used to. We know the relationship works. And that’s the alliance, be it in individual therapy, couples’ therapy, with youth. We know cohesion works in groups. We know support, validation, self-disclosure, a modicum of self-disclosure, humor – all these things contribute to positive psychotherapy. And while we frequ…
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…In the course of my career, I’ve noted countless male and female clients, couples, and friends, who’ve complained of having lost the spark in their intimate relationship. In more extreme examples, a person may “lose interest” in sex altogether. Yet, in an overwhelming number of cases, there is something else keeping couples from getting close and staying close on both a physical and emotional level. This is an obstacle that’s far less tangible to…
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