Search Results for: couples experiencing relationship trouble

relationship fights

Why You Pick Fights with Your Partner… and How to Stop

…ldren, we form defenses and adaptations to deal with our surroundings. The trouble is we carry these patterns with us into situations and relationships in which they no longer serve us. Shutting down and keeping to ourselves may have been a good way to get by in our family, but it can cause problems when we’re trying to communicate openly with our partner. Being stubborn and standing up for ourselves may have been a necessary defense against an an…

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Why Do We Keep Ending Up in the Same Kinds of Relationships? The Answer Lies in Our Attachment Styles

…man who lamented that even when she started out feeling optimistic about a relationship, her relationships never “went anywhere.” This woman realized that as a child, she developed avoidant attachment patterns as a result of having been neglected, which led to her being inward and self-sufficient. She also recognized that in her romantic relationships, she had the traits of a dismissive avoidant style. With these insights, she was able to see that…

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3 Steps to Sustaining a Loving Relationship

…attachments to our early caretakers that serve as models for how we expect relationships to work throughout our lives. While a secure attachment can allow us to feel confident and satisfied in relationships, an insecure attachment pattern can leave us feeling uncomfortable with either “too much” closeness or “too little.” The attachment pattern we formed as kids goes on to impact the patterns we form in adulthood. For example, if we developed an a…

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Ways to Improve Your Relationship While Sheltering at Home

…stress of coping with a global pandemic, and what we’ll find is that most couples are facing new strains on their relationship that are making life at home all the more difficult. The first thing to do if you find yourself in this situation is to take a deep breath and realize you are not alone. In a survey conducted in April only 18% of couples reported satisfaction in communication with their partner. Yet, with the rise in new challenges comes…

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Seven Real Vows to Make Your Marriage Last

…en something bothers us, and we can both benefit from having a more honest relationship truly built on trust. 5. “I promise not to project elements from my past onto this relationship.” Though it may sound vague and simplistic, this is perhaps the hardest vow for any of us to keep, as we are rarely entirely conscious of the ways our past experiences infiltrate our present actions. However, our reactions in our closest relationships often have more…

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Rihanna and Chris Brown: The Abusive Cycle

…amiliarity and easiness of being with Chris Brown brought her back to this relationship. Denial of the situation: Society often downplays the effects of destructive relationships and abuse. As a result, many people are unaware or unwilling to accept that they are in a harmful relationship. This is especially true when it comes to nonviolent forms of abuse (verbal, sexual, emotional….). Your partner may act charming and loving when you are with oth…

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Why We Should Stop Treating Love Like a “Pie”

…on. However, there are some common, restricting viewpoints around love and relationships that can sometimes limit a person’s capacity for personal growth and experiencing love and fulfillment. One such belief is the idea that any single person should become our whole world. If someone is caught in a love that is all-consuming or that claims a monopoly over their energy, chances are what they are experiencing isn’t really love. It may be a sign of…

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Can Attachment Theory Explain All Our Relationships?

…g separation, then moves closer to Mother upon reunion. In both cases, the relationship works. (And just to be clear, a “working” relationship has nothing to do with the baby-wearing and co-sleeping and round-the-clock care popularized by Dr. William Sears’s attachment-parenting movement; plenty of secure attachments are formed without following any particular parenting philosophy.) Separate, connect. Separate, connect. It’s the primal dance of fi…

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Going Back Out into the Dating World

…re an indication that you are not compatible. Considerations for long-term relationships If your relationship is getting more serious, these are a few questions to think about: Do you have a strong friendship? Do you enjoy each other’s company even while doing the tedious everyday things in life together? Do you make each other laugh? Do you look out for each other? Do you relate as equal adults? Do you confide in one another? Do you communicate w…

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How to Stop Feeling Triggered by Your Partner

…going on. These conflicts can be fraught enough for some people to end the relationship. Others may seek counseling. Yet, many couples just fall into a pattern of fight, make up, move on, fight, make up, move on, which only leaves tensions to build and triggers to become more sensitive. What many of us aren’t aware of when we feel triggered by our partner is that our own personal history as well as a “critical inner voice” in our heads is impactin…

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