…love is linked to marital satisfaction, well-being, high self-esteem, and relationship longevity. When couples maintain intensity, engagement, and physical connection, they can keep their brains firing and enliven their loving feelings for each other for decades. This led Dr. Acevedo to conclude, “Couples who’ve been together a long time and wish to get back their romantic edge should know it is an attainable goal that, like most good things in l…
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…hentic in your relationship. What Elements Prevent Us from Attaining These Relationship Skills? Relationship skills aren’t something we’re born with or learn in school. Like most skills, we learn through experience, through our relationships. Growing up, we may never have learned healthy ways to cope, handle conflict or express ourselves. In fact, we may have learned just the opposite. The worst enemy of our relationship is our past. Poor role mod…
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…e, because, since we take our defenses with us, they will lead to the same troubles in a new relationship. To challenge and change our defenses is work we alone have to do, and a relationship is a great place to do it, especially when the pay-off is the joy we get to experience in being loving and vulnerable to another person. Nevertheless, the person you’re with may not be this person. Relationships will never be seamless or entirely easy. There…
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…and in love. Learn more about the fantasy bond here. How Can I Overcome Relationship Anxiety? In order to overcome, relationship anxiety, we must shift our focus inward. We have to look at what’s going on inside us, separate from our partner or the relationship. What critical inner voices are exacerbating our fears? What defenses do we possess that could be creating distance? This process of self-discovery can be a vital step in understanding…
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…of blogs, articles, and advice columns offer suggestions designed to help couples resolve troublesome trust issues. Many questionnaires are available to measure relational trust, (trust in a relationship partner) as well as global trust (trust in human nature). Clearly, trust matters a great deal to a lot of people, especially to those of us who are striving to have a loving, fulfilling relationship. How do we first develop trust? How children le…
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…g intimidating. They may also adopt roles that hurt or limit them in their relationship. For example, couples often polarize each other, with one person becoming domineering and controlling, while the other acts passive and submissive. This may take different forms in different aspects of the relationship. One partner may be seen as the “boss” of finances; another may be the one who controls the sexuality between them. They may be drawn to assumin…
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…n Intimate Relationships, Lisa Firestone, “When it comes to their intimate relationships, couples can make any decision they want about monogamy, as long as this decision is mutually agreed upon by both partners… Many couples have made exceptions to sexual fidelity or are taking alternative approaches to their sexual freedom. Yet, no matter what the agreement is, there is one fundamental quality that, if compromised, can destroy a relationship: ho…
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…out what kind of behaviors may help us tell the difference between healthy relationships, troubled ones, and those that constitute abuse. Relationship violence may include any one or combination of these experiences: Physical abuse – the use of force to cause injury or fear – slapping, hitting, slamming doors, throwing things, or using a weapon; violent acts. Emotional abuse, sometimes called verbal abuse – name-calling and put-downs are some of t…
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…ad to trouble between you. You will now know what to look out for to avoid trouble in the future. And if you do get into trouble with each other, you can recognize what is happening and deal with it more quickly. Helpful Advice about Communication There are several negative forms of communication to be aware of. Make sure that you are not engaging in any of these because they contaminate the communication process. As long as you are enlisting thes…
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…indness are replaced by routine, and form is favored over substance in the relationship. Couples enter into this scenario without even realizing it, as a means to feel a false sense of security, an illusion of fusion or “oneness.” A Fantasy Bond has a “deadening” effect on a relationship, as two partners start to control each other and limit each other’s worlds. They become a “we,” while losing a sense of each of their identities as two separate i…
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