Search Results for: couples experiencing relationship trouble

Do You Have an Honest Relationship?

…shamed. Instead, we can be honest about who we are and what we want in the relationship. Make your actions match your words – So often relationships lose their spark when couple replace substance with form. Things like saying “I love you” or doing things together become a matter of routine instead of lively choices that emerge from how we really feel. When we form what my father, Dr. Robert Firestone, termed a “fantasy bond,” an illusion of connec…

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5 Things to Do Today to Save Your Relationship

…, negative dynamics start to evolve, then persist for so long that we have trouble knowing where to start when it comes to repairing the relationship. When thinking about where things went wrong, it’s important to recognize that a lot of what we do to ruin our relationships has to do with us. Much of how we act is based on programming from our past and defenses we’ve built that cause us to overreact, distort or even provoke the people we feel clos…

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Five Ways to Avoid an Infidelity

…f activities, interests, people, places and ideas. Yet, after a while many couples enter into a “Fantasy Bond,” an illusion of connection in which the form of the relationship replaces the real substance. People let go of their individuality in favor of a merged identity that, although often unexciting or even unpleasant, creates a false sense of safety and security. Couples in a fantasy bond often place countless restrictions on each other, expec…

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relationship fix

How to Fix a Relationship

…our eCourse, The Fantasy Bond: The Key to Understanding Yourself and Your Relationships How to Fix a Relationship When Things Get Distant People often think they want love, but when they get it, they have trouble sustaining the romance and passion they feel for one another. Why is this? Because most people tend to have many (albeit unconscious) fears of intimacy. Overcoming these fears means facing the part of ourselves that keeps us from living…

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Starting a Relationship 101

…e are basic qualities we can look for that, in the long run, matter more than anything else. Being able to trust our partner is key to maintaining lasting love in the relationship. When we are first starting a relationship, we can build that relationship on openness, respect and honesty. In doing so, we increase not only the longevity of the relationship but the quality of the time we spend together….

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Couple in the Kitchen

How Focusing on the Bigger Picture Can Help Your Relationship

…d start to see and treat them in ways that denigrate them and diminish the relationship. No relationship or partner is perfect, and each and every one of us carries a certain number of defenses and adaptations that don’t always serve us. Getting bogged down or having a big reaction in a moment of frustration is rarely the best way to resolve issues, communicate, or make things better. Here are three things to keep in mind to help you think big and…

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What Real Love Looks Like

…red love of certain activities and mutual interests. To maintain a healthy relationship, I suggest that couples continue to share their mutual passions and be willing to try new things together. Respect – Respecting your partner’s individuality is a key factor in having a truly loving relationship. At the beginning of relationships, people have a natural respect for one another as separate individuals and they tend to relate to each other with kin…

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It’s not you, it’s me: The truth behind the excuse

…our current feelings sprout from, we are able to demystify the things that trouble us most in our relationships and approach our partners from a rational, adult perspective. For example, a friend of mine would react strongly whenever his girlfriend interrupted him. It was a source of tension between them for years as he felt like she wasn’t really listening to him. Thinking back, he realized that his reaction came from deep feelings of not being l…

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What Is Your Role in Your Relationship?

…ckly recreate the same dynamics. However, to break this cycle in a current relationship or prevent it from repeating in a future relationship, we can understand that we come by these behaviors honestly and that we can change the damaging cycle/pattern by changing ourselves. We need to start with compassion for ourselves. Our tendency to act childish or parental arose from defenses we formed to adapt and survive in our early lives. These adaptation…

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It’s Not You It’s Me: The Truth Behind The Excuse

…our current feelings sprout from, we are able to demystify the things that trouble us most in our relationships and approach our partners from a rational, adult perspective. For example, a friend of mine would react strongly whenever his girlfriend interrupted him. It was a source of tension between them for years as he felt like she wasn’t really listening to him. Thinking back, he realized that his reaction came from deep feelings of not being l…

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