Self Development

Critical Inner Voice

What is the Critical Inner Voice? The critical inner voice is a well-integrated pattern of destructive thoughts toward ourselves and others. The nagging “voices,” or thoughts, that make up this internalized dialogue are at the root of much of our self-destructive and maladaptive behavior. The critical inner voice is not an auditory hallucination; it is… Read more »

Read More

Defenses

“What’s keeping me from feeling?” How could something as natural as feeling our emotions be so difficult? There is a very logical explanation for why we have trouble accessing our feelings and instead find ourselves cut off and detached. Many of us are defended against feeling and to understand why, we have to go back… Read more »

Read More

Depression

Depression can be a very serious, debilitating disorder. About seven out of a hundred people suffer depression at some point in their lives, making it an important health concern that commands treatment. Dealing with depression can feel especially difficult, because the symptoms it generates (i.e. tiredness, lethargy and lack of enthusiasm) can deter those suffering… Read more »

Read More

Fantasy Bond

What is a fantasy bond? A “fantasy bond” describes an illusion of connection between a couple that is substituted for feelings of real love and intimacy. Forming a fantasy bond is an often unconscious act of self-parenting and self-protection, in which two people become pseudo-independent, replacing the real relating involved in being in love with the form of… Read more »

Read More

Fear of Intimacy

There’s one sad truth in life I’ve found While journeying east and west – The only folks we really wound Are those we love the best. We flatter those we scarcely know, We please the fleeting guest, And deal full many a thoughtless blow, To those who love us best. This amusing little poem isn’t… Read more »

Read More

Identify Your Critical Inner Voice

The critical inner voice is an internal dialogue, a harsh and judgmental way of talking to ourselves. It is evident in those little everyday thoughts that flit through our consciousness: “You idiot, why did you say that? Now everyone will think you are stupid.” “You moron, you never should have taken this route in rush… Read more »

Read More

I Feel Lonely: What To Do When You’re Feeling Alone

“Why do I feel alone?” Human beings are instinctively social animals. It is natural for us to feel alone or lonely when we are isolated from others. As a tribal species, our brains adapted to rely on social connections as a means to survive. In fact, according to neuroscientist John Cacioppo, who has made a career out of studying loneliness, “The… Read more »

Read More

Love

To love (verb) The dictionary offers two separate definitions for the word love. One is of a noun and the other is of a verb. The dictionary has unwittingly pinpointed the problem that many of us have with love. Often we treat love as if it were only a noun: “an entity, quality, state, action,… Read more »

Read More

Self-Limiting Behaviors

  “Why do I keep sabotaging my own success?” We have the opportunity to apply for our dream job, but we end up procrastinating and missing the deadline for submitting the application. Or we go to the interview, but our behavior is uncharacteristically subdued and unenthusiastic, and we “blow the interview.” Or we actually get… Read more »

Read More

Sex Stereotyping

The sexual stereotyping of men and women has a profound impact on our society. From sex stereotypes about men in relationship to stereotypes of women’s sexuality, these prejudicial attitudes affect us all. Due to the advances made in recent years to establish equality between the sexes, society reflects fewer attitudes that support discrimination and inequality… Read more »

Read More