In addition to training and experience, the ideal attitude of the therapist toward the client would best be described by the following adjectives: honest, direct, interested, inquisitive, warm, compassionate, non-judgmental, understanding and deeply feeling. In actuality, a person can learn to develop many of these same points of view towards him or herself. People can utilize… Read more »
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Examining the persistence of our negative identity My life’s work has focused on understanding resistance in psychotherapy and more specifically, on people’s fundamental resistance to the formation of a better, more positive image of themselves. For the most part, they are unaware that their lives are controlled and regulated by negative images and attitudes toward… Read more »
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The conscious or unconscious fear of death can alter many aspects of behavior. Most people, including mental health specialists, have failed to recognize the full significance of the impact of death on life. The fear of death arises as each child becomes aware of death’s inevitability. It is too painful to face our personal mortality… Read more »
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What causes prejudice, religious wars, terrorism and genocide? In fact, what are the psychodynamics behind extremism, absolutism and all insidious forms of polarization? On some level, the answers all relate to human beings’ inherent fear of death and their need for psychological defenses to deny or ease the endemic pain of the human condition. The… Read more »
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In order to place the title of this blog in context, I would define parental love as behavior that enhances the well-being and development of children. As such, “love” would be all that is nurturing and supportive of the evolution of the child’s unique personality. Conversely, it would be a distortion to define as “loving”… Read more »
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Feeling angry is a universal human phenomenon. It is as basic as feeling hungry, lonely, loving, or tired. -Theodore Rubin “A thought murder a day keeps the doctor away.” What this quote emphasizes is that feeling one’s angry thoughts is a healthy manifestation, whereas the denial or suppression of angry feelings has a pathological effect…. Read more »
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According to a PsychologyToday blog by Lisa Thomas approximately 25% of women have difficulty achieving orgasm or have never experienced one, and even for women who are orgasmic, the frequency is only around 50-70% of the time. Other researchers found that most women do not routinely (and some never) experience orgasm during sexual intercourse. There are a number of… Read more »
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Love — kindness, affection, sensitive attunement, respect, companionship — is not only difficult to find, but is even more challenging for many people to accept and tolerate. In my work with individuals and couples, I have observed countless examples of people reacting angrily when loving responses were directed toward them. One man felt a flash… Read more »
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Fear is the primary enemy to becoming an adult. Psychological defenses that are limiting and to some extent dysfunctional are strengthened and intensified when people become anxious. Yet anxiety states are often reacted to subliminally and defenses are instituted and affect our behavior without conscious awareness. In that sense, you cannot approach your fear directly;… Read more »
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