relationships

Fantasy Bond 101

This month, I’ve been working on creating a whiteboard explaining the fantasy bond and I’ve come to realize that it is a complex concept to get across in only a few words and with simple drawings. A while ago, I did a whiteboard about the critical inner voice, which was also challenging to describe. What… Read more »

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Challenging the Fantasy Bond

In this blog, I am excited to share the introduction and conclusion from my new book, Challenging the Fantasy Bond.  I hope you find it interesting and enjoy reading it. The Fantasy Bond The early version of my theoretical approach set forth in The Fantasy Bond was primarily intended for psychologists, psychiatrists and others in… Read more »

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Accepting “Good Enough” Friends and Partners

It’s pretty much to be expected that the people who matter most to us also happen to be the ones with whom we spend the most time. Unfortunately, there can be a downside to getting to know someone really well. Not only do we become aware of their flaws or shortcomings, but we may hone… Read more »

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Why We Must Keep Nurturing Connection

If these past 18 months have forced us to evaluate anything, it’s the importance of connection. Be it through new technologies, outdoor activities, or the little pods we’ve packed into to stay safe, we’ve all had to find creative ways to make connection work in a world of social distancing. Nurturing our relationships is one… Read more »

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Why We Should Stop Treating Love Like a “Pie”

I recently read a famous short story by Amy Bloom about an adult woman at her mother’s funeral. The woman is reflecting upon her mother’s life, specifically her relationship with two men who loved her at the same time. The woman remembers confronting her mother about her feelings for the man who was not her… Read more »

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Are You Swiping Right on Your Attachment Style?

How your attachment style may be sabotaging your finding love. Over the years, I have witnessed many people turning to dating sites to find a romantic partner. I have witnessed some of them finding love and companionship and others experiencing disappointment, frustration and rejection. And with these observations, I have become aware of how much… Read more »

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How Focusing on the Bigger Picture Can Help Your Relationship

Every relationship has its ups and downs. For many couples, these dips can occur on a daily basis. From morning to night, our interactions with our partner can range from loving and romantic to irritable and cynical. While it’s natural for our feelings to shift in response to different circumstances, it can be frustrating to… Read more »

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Has Your Relationship Become Off Balance?

Understanding the fantasy bond to get your relationship back on track. Many of us are in the process of recovering from the last year of living under the threat of Covid-19; we are vaccinated, pulling off our masks, and moving in to hug the people we have missed. We are venturing out into the world,… Read more »

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Taking Responsibility for Your Happiness

Why you shouldn’t over-rely on your partner to make you happy. When we’re single, we’re constantly making decisions in pursuit of happiness: where to go, who to date, what friends to seek out, what activities to try. We don’t always make the right decisions, but we, at least, tend to take responsibility for them. When… Read more »

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Being Vulnerable to Love

3 suggestions to help you be vulnerable. Being vulnerable is a popular topic of conversation these days. In fact, at this time, Brene Brown’s TED talk “The Power of Vulnerability” has had more than 53 million views. In spite of all the talk and of how much we may want to be vulnerable, especially in… Read more »

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