relationships

3 Steps to Sustaining a Loving Relationship

A good relationship is all about connection, not just the one we feel when we first fall for someone, but the one we shape over time as we learn to share our lives with another person. For most couples, struggles tend to exist in the spaces where partners have either drifted apart or become fused… Read more »

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How to Beat Boredom in Your Relationship: Drop into the Plane of Possibility

Relationships are naturally full of highs and lows, but perhaps the thing couples complain about the most are the lulls. Boredom is often viewed as a destructive, yet inevitable, force in long-term relationships. One study even found that the most common way for that people describe their romantic relationships was “dull.” Most of us don’t… Read more »

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The Problem with Shopping for Relationships Online

4 things to explore if you’re looking to meet someone online First off, a disclaimer: I am NOT against online dating. Like most of you, I know many truly happy couples who only connected thanks to dating apps and websites. These sites can offer a wonderful way to meet people you wouldn’t otherwise. They open up… Read more »

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How to Stop Yourself from “Losing It” With Your Partner

We all have those moments of frustration with our partner that lead us to act in ways we later regret. We may acknowledge after the fact that there was a healthier way to react or vow to handle things better in the future, but the moment tensions rise, and we feel triggered in a particular… Read more »

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Kindness Wins!

What’s the most important characteristic in a lifetime relationship partner? A recent study in the U.K. researched this question. At the University of Swansea, researchers enlisted 2,700 college students from five countries to progressively narrow down which characteristics were most important to them in a lifetime mate. And the one that emerged from all cultures… Read more »

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Talk Less, Listen More

The most effective way to feel closer to your partner is in your power. Whatever challenges a couple is facing, there is one skill anyone can work on to greatly improve a relationship; that skill is listening. Recent studies have linked attentive listening to better coping behaviors and higher relationship satisfaction in couples. This is… Read more »

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Are You Addicted to Your Relationship?

We’ve all been through it: the incessant checking of our phone, the tossing and turning through a night alone, the replaying of interactions in our head, the worrying about what he or she is thinking or feeling. We’ve all, at one point or another, known what it was to be consumed by the thought of… Read more »

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Beware of the Soulmate Myth

The Fantasy Bond Behind the Myth of the Soulmate I know people who say their ultimate relationship goal is finding a soulmate. They’re looking for a kindred spirit who they were meant to be with. Is this appealing to me? I can see how the idea that there might be another person out there who… Read more »

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Are You Expecting Too Much from Your Partner?

These 7 ways we over-rely on our partner can seriously hurt our relationship. When a couple comes to therapy, they tend to each arrive with a laundry list of complaints about the other. While neither person may claim to be perfect themselves, they find it much easier to talk about their partner. “She never picks… Read more »

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5 Ways to Rewrite Your Breakup Story and Feel Better

How to make sense of and feel better about a breakup. As a therapist, I hear a lot of breakup stories. Many people come to therapy because they’re struggling to “get over” someone. They often feel stuck in their pain, as if life will never be good again. They say that all they want is to get… Read more »

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