anger

Forgiveness: 9 Steps to Break Free

At different points in our lives, many of us hold grudges against other people who we feel have hurt or offended us in some way or another. We can hold grudges for people who aren’t even alive anymore. We often hold onto grudges with the false notion that we are making the other person suffer by… Read more »

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The Role of Anger in Depression

Sigmund Freud used to refer to depression as anger turned inward. While many people may regard this as an overly simplistic approach to the most common mental health disorder in the world, there is no doubt that anger plays a significant role in depression. As one study from 2016 found, when it comes to emotional disorders in… Read more »

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The Simple Truth about Anger

Feeling angry is a universal human phenomenon. It is as basic as feeling hungry, lonely, loving, or tired. -Theodore Rubin “A thought murder a day keeps the doctor away.”  What this quote emphasizes is that feeling one’s angry thoughts is a healthy manifestation, whereas the denial or suppression of angry feelings has a pathological effect…. Read more »

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VIDEO: Dr. James Garbarino Discusses Various Causes of Aggression in Boys and Girls

Watch an excerpt from PsychAlive’s exclusive interview with Dr. James Garbarino. Dr. James Garbarino discusses the correlation in violence between the sexes. I published a book, Lost Boys, in 1999.  The subtitle is,  “Why our Sons are Growing More Violent – What we can do about it.”  And almost immediately, people kept saying, “Well, what… Read more »

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VIDEO: Dr. James Garbarino Explains the Disconnect Between Parents’ Intentions and their Behavior

Watch an excerpt from PsychAlive’s exclusive interview with Dr. James Garbarino.   Dr. James Garbarino explains how parents’ intentions and their behavior can differ. Dr. James Garbarino: Certainly in the Christian tradition, we have this expression, “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.”  I often begin lectures by saying, “You know, one of… Read more »

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Why Do So Many People Respond Negatively to Being Loved?

Love — kindness, affection, sensitive attunement, respect, companionship — is not only difficult to find, but is even more challenging for many people to accept and tolerate.  In my work with individuals and couples, I have observed countless examples of people reacting angrily when loving responses were directed toward them. One man felt a flash… Read more »

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Angry at Love

Most of us aspire to find love. It is unquestionably one of the most important goals of our lives. Because of this nearly universal truth, it isn’t always easy for people to grasp the fact that most of us are also angry at love. It is often the case that no matter how long we… Read more »

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How to Stop Being a Victim

Challenging negative voices is the way to overcome a victimized orientation. Reject your sense of injury and the injury itself disappears. ~ Marcus Aurelius, Meditations One of the principle ways that people mismanage their anger is by playing the role of victim. In a previous blog, “Don’t Play the Victim Game,” I described the characteristics… Read more »

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Exploring Anger: What It Is, What It Does, and When It’s Appropriate

It’s happened to everyone: that internal switch that gets flicked on without a moment’s notice and just like that… all you can see is red. For different people, anger manifests itself in many different forms, at different times and because of different triggers. There is no set equation for anger, no exact variables, and no… Read more »

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The Inner Voices Behind Violent Behavior

Too often, the subject of violence is addressed in our society from a platform of sensationalism, disgust, and trepidation. The reporting of violent events incites two reactions from viewers: horrified fascination or a repelled reflex to turn away. Neither reaction inclines us to seek a better understanding of why violence occurs, nor to ask the… Read more »

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