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This is the second Capsule on the front page

The Ways We Lie

There’s a scene in the movie Something’s Gotta Give that simply and succinctly captures one reality about the truth. After catching the man she loves on a date with another woman, Diane Keaton is chased out of the restaurant by a guilty and distraught Jack Nicholson. When he finally stops her, he pleads, “I have… Read more »

Angry at Love

Most of us aspire to find love. It is unquestionably one of the most important goals of our lives. Because of this nearly universal truth, it isn’t always easy for people to grasp the fact that most of us are also angry at love. It is often the case that no matter how long we… Read more »

Relationship Skills

In her article “After the Honeymoon,” psychologist Donna Rockwell opens with the straightforward words, “Listen up. Marriage is hard work.”  She then goes on to explore and explain just why this is and what couples can do about it. Yet, this simple directive alone – to “listen up” – is a good starting place for… Read more »

Money Stress: Why We Use Money to Feel Bad About Ourselves

Work and money are the leading causes of stress in America, according to the American Psychological Association’s “Stress in America” survey. Money may seem like a practical concern, requiring rationality and logic to manage. However, we very often underestimate the emotional aspects of handling money. Our attitudes about money have deep roots in our past…. Read more »

Qualities of an Ideal Therapist

Outcome studies in psychotherapy have shown that “The therapist is a key change ingredient in most successful therapy.” Researchers have also identified a number of traits in psychotherapists that facilitate clients’ progress and change.* In The Fear of Intimacy, I outlined my approach to psychotherapy and described personal qualities in therapists that I consider essential… Read more »

My Day with the Dalai Lama; A primer for happiness

The Dalai Lama smiled as he shook his head. There is no difference between the East and the West, he said. Everyone has the same “mind,” so every person has the chance to gain enlightenment – the ability to live a joyful life. He was sitting in a packed ballroom, talking to a group of… Read more »

Why It Is Good For You to Feel Negative Emotions

How can we best deal with our day-to-day emotional reactions? What can we do when our partner lets us down, when we have a struggle with our child, or when we feel provoked by a friend? Oddly enough, the first piece of advice is to stay with the pain. It turns out we expend much… Read more »

Five Tips for Maintaining Lifelong Friends

When it comes to our physical and mental health, friendship may truly be the best medicine. An Australian study showed that strong social networks may lengthen survival in elderly men and women, with good friends being even more likely to increase longevity than close family members. As author Edna Buchanon put it, “Friends are the… Read more »

Thoughts About a Massacre

We can point fingers in the aftermath of Sandy Hook.  It is the guns, the NRA, the politicians, the violent video games, the Asperger’s or school security.  Bottom line it is a human problem!  As a society we have moved away from thinking, feeling and being in connection.  Yes there is sadness, anger, pain, disappointment,… Read more »

Are you Parenting Like Your Parent?

Have you ever had one of those moments when something comes out of your mouth that doesn’t sound anything like you? You snap at your partner or scold your child, using words you never use or threats you’d never see through. Afterwards, you stand there stumped for a few seconds wondering, “Where did that come… Read more »