Search Results for: michelle deen/2010/06/2010/03/teen-suicide-prevention/2009/12/dr-lisa-firestone-“suicide-the-warning-signs”

The Value of Being Personal with Your Children

…tudes or way of being. Indeed, any technique, attitude, or approach to childrearing that treats children as objects to be manipulated by certain parental styles of communications is detrimental to their development. Many adult patients have complained bitterly about being treated as an object by their families. Children need adults who relate to them directly; they need people who are open with them about their real thoughts and feelings. This typ…

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breaking the fantasy bond with our mothers, psychalive, mothers day 2012, mother daughter conflict,

Breaking the Fantasy Bond with Our Mothers

…e in her – and we’re mostly unaware of this process. Nancy Friday’s and Hendrika Freud’s ideas strongly resonate with me for many reasons, both personal and professional. For one thing, my father, Robert Firestone, has written extensively about the ambivalence inherent in every mother-daughter relationship. His descriptive accounts of the dynamics operating in the mother-daughter bond were published in Compassionate Child-Rearing (1990) and are ex…

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Compassionate Child Rearing

…etter understand the effects they have on the emotional state of their children. The lesson of the text is that children deserve the same rights, respect and consideration as any fully grown human being. To raise their children in a healthy environment, where they are seen and heard as independent individuals, parents must come to understand the ways in which they hurt their children and the events from their own past that helped motivate their be…

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Fear of Intimacy

…And regrettably these limitations tend to impact how they parent their children. From this less than perfect experience, children grow up with a less than perfect image of themselves. As a result, people arrive at adulthood psychologically equipped to survive in the type of emotional environment that they have come from. But it is a whole different world out there. That is why, when someone falls in love with us, the experience seems so alien. We…

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Psychological Defenses in Everyday Life

Robert W. Firestone, Ph.D. – This book is a rich resource that broadens personal understanding by examining the origins of childhood pain, subsequent defense formation, and the pervasiveness and destructiveness of resulting maladaptive, addictive behaviors in adults. The authors point a way toward reversing the damaging process that keeps individuals from experiencing genuine satisfaction. The clarity and empathic tone of the book make it a valua…

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Real Love or a Fantasy Bond: The Appeal of the Twilight Saga

…g past one such line, I noticed a father dropping off a shrieking group of dressed up 15-year-old girls from a stretched hummer, rented just for the occasion. For many, the anticipation of attending a Twilight premiere is likened to that of preparing for a high school prom. But teens aren’t the only ones captivated. Audiences of all ages are hooked, guiltily or not, to the fanatical, addictive, and utterly over-the-top love between the film’s lead…

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Breaking Free from Addiction

…fe, luring and condemning, comforting and destroying. People who engage in drug or alcohol abuse, who have an eating disorder, or who struggle with any addiction are acting according to the prescriptions of a destructive thought process known as the critical inner voice. For example, if you struggle with an alcohol dependency, this internal enemy will try to tempt you with a seductive, seeming friendly thought (or “voice”) saying, “You’ve had a ro…

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The Fantasy Bond, fear of intimacy, psychalive, the glendon association

What is a Fantasy Bond?

…Dr. Robert Firestone on The Fantasy Bond…

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Fantasy Bond, Intimacy problems, relationship advice

Why the Spark Fades in a Relationship

…ts us up is the best way to be ourselves in our relationships. Rather than driving us apart, this separateness actually allows us to feel our attractions and choose to be together. Think about the state people are in when they first fall in love. They are drawn to each other based on their unique attributes. Their individuality is viewed with interest and respect, qualities we should aim to maintain even decades after being with someone romantical…

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Open to Emotion

…s, yet it’s a widely accepted thing to do. In Compassionate Child-Rearing, Dr. Robert Firestone discusses something he refers to as the implicit pain of sensitive child-rearing. Raising children with the emotional bonding they need—sensitivity, empathy and compassion—requires the parent to be open and vulnerable, willing to feel the child’s emotional states, (the pleasurable and the painful) as well as their own. To be tuned in to their child’s pa…

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